“I Just Want to Live for Myself and Finally Get Some Sleep,” Said My Husband as He Walked Out Three months – that’s how long this madness lasted. Three months of sleepless nights, with little Max screaming so loudly the neighbours banged on the walls. Three months of Marina shuffling around like a zombie, red-eyed and trembling. Meanwhile, her husband Igor stormed around the flat, dark and brooding. “You have no idea how rough I look at work!” he snapped, staring in the mirror. “Bags under my eyes down to my knees.” Marina said nothing. She fed the baby, rocked him, and fed him again. A never-ending cycle. And somewhere nearby, Igor – her husband who only complained instead of helping. “Listen, maybe your mum can look after him?” he suggested one evening as he stretched after a hot shower, fresh and rested. “I’m thinking of heading off for a week to my mate’s cottage?” Marina froze, bottle in hand. “I need a break, Marina. Seriously.” Igor started packing his gym bag. “I’ve barely slept normally lately.” Did he think she slept? Her eyes glued shut from tiredness, but every time she lay down, Max started crying. Fourth time tonight. “It’s hard for me too,” Marina whispered. “Yeah, well, of course, it’s hard,” Igor shrugged, stuffing his favourite shirt in the bag. “But my job’s serious. Responsibility. Can’t show up to clients looking like this.” Suddenly, Marina saw their family from the outside: her in a stained dressing gown, messy hair, a wailing baby in her arms; and Igor packing a bag, running away. “I just want to live for myself and get some sleep,” Igor muttered, not looking at her. The door slammed. Left in the flat with Max’s sobs, Marina felt everything collapsing inside. A week passed. Then another. Igor rang three times – distant, polite, like chatting with an old school friend. “I’ll come at the weekend.” He didn’t. “I’ll definitely be there tomorrow.” He wasn’t. Marina rocked Max, changed nappies, made bottles. Snatched thirty minutes of sleep between feeds. “Everything okay?” asked her friend. “Great,” Marina lied. Why does she lie? She’s ashamed. Ashamed her husband left, that she’s alone with a baby. But worse was still to come. In the shop, she met Igor’s colleague. “Where’s your man?” Lena asked. “Working a lot.” “I see. Men are all the same – as soon as there’s a baby, they’re always ‘working’. By the way, does Igor go on work trips often?” “What trips?” “Well, he went to Brighton for a seminar last week. Showed me photos.” Brighton? When?! Marina remembered: last week, Igor didn’t call for three days. He’d said he was busy. Not busy. Relaxing in Brighton. Igor came home on Saturday. With flowers. “Sorry I’ve been away. Busy at work.” “You went to Brighton?” He froze, holding the bouquet. “Who told you?” “Doesn’t matter. Why lie?” “I wasn’t lying. I thought you’d be upset if I went without you.” Without her?! With a baby, she couldn’t go anywhere! “Igor, I need help. I haven’t slept in weeks.” “We’ll hire a nanny.” “With what money? You don’t give me anything.” “What do you mean? I pay rent, the bills.” “What about food? Nappies? Medicine?” Silence. Then: “Maybe you could go back to work? Even part-time? No point staying at home. We’ll hire a nanny.” “Staying at home,” as if it was a holiday! At that moment, Marina looked at her husband and finally saw: this man didn’t love her. Not at all. Never had. “Leave.” “What?” “Go. And don’t come back until you decide what matters more to you – family or freedom.” Igor took his keys and left. Two days passed; then he texted: “I’m thinking.” Marina didn’t sleep. She thought too. Imagine, for the first time in months, being alone with your own thoughts. Her mum called: “Marina, how are you? Igor’s not home?” “He’s away for work.” Another lie. “Should I come help?” “I’ll manage.” Her mum came anyway. “How are things here?” She glanced around. “Heavens, Marina, look at yourself!” She looked in the mirror – she looked dreadful. “And Igor?” “At work.” “At eight at night?” Marina was silent. “What’s going on?” Then Marina burst out crying. Real crying, loud, desperate. “He left. Said he wants to live for himself.” Her mum was quiet. Then: “What a scoundrel. Rare.” Marina was stunned. Her mum never swore. “I always thought Igor was weak. But this is a new low.” “Mum, maybe I’m wrong? Maybe I should’ve understood?” “Marina, is it hard for you?” Such simple words made Marina realise: she’d thought only about Igor, his comfort and fatigue. But about herself? Nothing. “What should I do?” “Live. Without him. Better alone than with someone like him.” Igor came back Saturday. Sun-tanned. Clearly “thinking” at the cottage. “Shall we talk?” “Let’s.” They sat at the table: “Look, Marina, I get it’s tough. But it’s not easy for me either. Maybe we can work something out? I’ll help with money, visit. But for now, I’d rather live separately.” “How much?” “What?” “Money. How much?” “Well, about £150.” £150. For a child, food, medicine. “Igor, get lost.” “What?!” “You heard me. And don’t come back.” “Marina, I’m offering a fair solution!” “Solution? You want your freedom? Where’s mine?” Then Igor said the line that made it clear: “What freedom do you have? You’re a mother!” Marina looked at him: this was the real Igor. Immature, selfish – as if motherhood were a prison sentence. “Tomorrow I’m filing for child support. You’ll pay the legal minimum.” “You wouldn’t dare!” “I absolutely will.” He left, slamming the door. For the first time, Marina felt she could breathe. Max cried, but now she knew she’d be okay. A year went by. Igor tried to come back twice. “Marina, shall we try again?” “Too late.” He complained Marina was cruel. Not convincing. Marina found a nanny, started work as a nurse. At work, she met Andrew, a doctor. “Got any children?” “A son.” “Where’s the dad?” “Living for himself.” She introduced them. Andrew brought a toy car for Max. They played together and laughed. Soon, they all went to the park together. Igor heard. He called: “He’s only a year old and you’re already out with men!” “What did you expect? That I’d just wait for you?” “But you’re a mother!” “Yes, I am. So what?” He never called again. Andrew was different. When Max got sick, he came straight away. When Marina was exhausted, he’d take them both to his cottage for a rest. Now Max is two. He calls Andrew ‘uncle’. Can’t remember Igor. Igor remarried. Pays child support. Marina isn’t angry. Now, finally, she’s living for herself. And it feels wonderful.