I had to buy myself a separate fridge, says Emily. Its ridiculous, but theres no other choice. Im not bothered about selling the flat and splitting the money, but Mum refuses to even consider it.
Emily recently turned 24. She has a university degree and a steady job, but she’s not married yet. While she lives in her own home, life isnt exactly easy. She owns half the flat. It originally belonged to her father, who passed away when Emily was 14. The property was inherited equally between Emily and her mother.
Ten years ago, things were remarkably tough for their family, suddenly left without their main earner. Emilys mum, Susan, had left her job when Emily was a child. She didnt take any maternity leave; after all, her husband earned well enough for them to live comfortably. Susan focused on keeping the household running. After Emilys father died, Susan wept, Where could I find a job now, at forty? What else could I possibly do become a cleaner?
Emily continues, We received bereavement benefits for a while, but mum couldnt help herself from spending at salons or buying new clothes, even when we barely scraped by. At first, her brother helped financially, but he eventually grew tired of it.
My uncle told Mum, Susan, that shed have to get a job somewhere. She had two children, and he just couldnt support us all. About a year later, Susan brought home a man named Roger. She said hed be living with us. Mum thought marriage might solve the money issues. Roger did earn quite a bit at first, but he and I, his stepdaughter, never really saw eye-to-eye.
Rogers words stuck with me: You just eat and laze about. Why don’t you help with the washing or cleaning? Why bother with all this homework? Are you planning on university? Study for what? You ought to work. Or do you expect me to support you forever?
Emily says she couldnt respond. She did have an allowance, but the money always went to her mum. Susan never stood up for Emily against Roger; she worried about losing the familys breadwinner. How would we manage without him? she asked. Just dont argue, and do as he says. Hes the one keeping food on our table.
Emily managed to go to university and eventually found herself a job. All that time, she felt like an unwanted guestjust another mouth for her stepdad to feed. Roger constantly kept tally of what he’d spent on her.
Six months after I got my job, I bought my own fridge, Emily explains. I put it in my room because my stepdad had locked the one in the kitchen.
Roger would say, Youve got a job? Right, then, feed yourself. Susan stayed silent. She kept quiet even when Roger showed me utility bills and demanded repayment for everything hed ever spent on me. Not long after, Roger lost his job. He and Susan started raiding my fridge, blaming me for everything. At first, I still paid up, but Roger remained jobless for almost a year. Eventually, I’d had enoughI bought a lock for my fridge. Of course, Susan objected, insisting Roger had provided for us for years.
I told them, If you want help, it goes both ways. Im not the first to start dividing things in this flat. Get a job.
Roger moved out recently. Susan got fed up with a man who contributed nothing. Still, I wont take the lock off my fridge, and I think Mum should look for work as well. After everything, Ive learned that independence is vitaleven within your own home. Sometimes, you must stand up for yourself and insist on fairness, or you end up burdened by those unwilling to do their part.
