I birthed you!
Youre just a waste of breath! Michaels voice boomed through the cramped flat, echoing down the narrow hallway. You sit on my throat, drain my money, and you cant even wash a plate!
Margaret curled on the sofa, wiping tears from the back of her hand. The cheap mascara smeared down her cheeks, turning her face into a sad mask.
Im tired too! You have no idea how heavy it is for a woman to keep a household going!
What household? Theres no household here! Michael flung a dirty plate onto the floor. The shards fanned out across the linoleum. Its a barroom! Everywheres a barroom! I work like a cursed man in the factory, come homeand its a pigsty!
Fourteenyearold Evelyn pressed her back against the wall of her tiny bedroom, trying not to breathe. These tirades happened almost every evening, but she could never get used to them.
You just dont love me! Youre always picking at me! Margarets voice snapped into a hysterical squeal. I never loved you! I married out of pity!
Sure, not out of love for your laziness! Other wives work, raise kids, and you? You stare at the telly from dawn till dusk!
Evelyn cupped her ears, but the words still slipped through her fingers, digging into her mind, leaving grimy traces. She hated those nightsthe helpless wail of her mother, the furious roar of her father, the shame of not being able to change anything.
I cant take this any longer! Michael roared, and something heavy crashed to the floor. Enough! Im fed up being a milkcow for the two of you!
Evelyn heard her fathers steps retreat into the bedroom, the closet door creaking, then a long, broken silence punctuated only by her mothers sobs. She cracked her bedroom door open and peered into the hallway.
Michael dragged an old gym bag stuffed with rubbish out of the bedroom. His face was flushed, a yellowtinted bruise marching across his cheek. He never glanced at his daughter as he passed.
Where are you going? Margaret leapt from the sofa, smearing fresh mascara across her face. Mike, wait!
Ive had enough. Im leaving!
You cant! We have a child!
Eve stays with you. Sort your own mess now. Maybe thatll finally make you work!
Michael slammed the door shut with a bang. Margaret collapsed onto the hallway floor, wailing in helplessness. Evelyn rushed to her side, dropping to her knees.
Mum, mum, calm down
Hes abandoned us! Margaret clutched Evelyns shoulders, pressing her face into Evelyns chest. He left ushow can a man do that to his wife and daughter?
Evelyn stroked her mothers tangled hair, swallowing her own rising tears. Hed simply walked out, leaving them in that stale, musty flat. She hugged her mother tighter, and in that instant the father seemed a monster. How could he have done such a thing?
Years slipped by faster than Evelyn could imaginefifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. With each passing year the veil of childhood misunderstanding lifted, revealing the harsh truth beneath.
Mother never worked. Not once. She rose around lunch, brewed tea, plonked herself before the television and stayed there until nightfall. Evelyn returned from school to a filthy flatpiles of dishes in the sink, dust on the furniture, laundry untouched.
Mum, why dont you even wash the dishes?
Im tired. My head hurts.
You sat at home all day!
Youll keep telling me what to do? Margaret snapped, pouting like a wounded child. I am your mother!
Evelyn learned to stay silent. She learned to come home from school and dive straight into chorescooking, cleaning, washing. On weekends she handed out flyers at the tube station for three pounds a shift. Later she found a parttime job in a café, serving tables in the evenings and on Saturdays.
The money went to groceries, the council tax, and the few necessities. Mother would reach for the next bundle of notes, frowning if the amount seemed insufficient.
You need to earn more, Eve. Were short on cash.
Mum, Im still studying. Im already working fifteen hours a week.
So what? I was married at your age.
Evelyn bit her tongue until it bled. Yes, marriedto a man who kept her fed while she lounged on the sofa.
After school Evelyn enrolled in a parttime degree; fulltime was financially impossible. She had to work even more. She landed a job in a restaurant with better tips. Her legs throbbed after each shift, her back ached, but she kept going. What else could she do?
Make something tasty for dinner, Margaret said, eyes glued to another soap opera. Im fed up with your noodles.
Mum, Ill be off for work in half an hour.
Make it quick. I sit here alone all day, treat me to a proper meal.
Evelyn boiled a pot of stew at half past five in the morning before her shift, left it on the stove. Mother reheated it at lunch, then settled back before the telly, never washing the plate.
One day at work Evelyn chatted with the restaurant manager, Olivia.
Hey, doesnt your mother want to come work as a cleaner for us? We just have a vacancy. Pays decent, schedules flexible.
Evelyn practically leapt.
Really? That would be great!
Give me her number, Ill call.
At home Evelyn whispered the opportunity to Margaret, who twisted her face as if Evelyn had brought her a rotten fish.
A cleaner? Are you serious?
Mum, its an honest job. Good pay, decent hours.
I wont wash floors!
But were barely scraping by! If you helped
Im exhausted at home! Margarets voice rose to a shrill pitch. Its hard to even get out of bed! I have high blood pressure!
Pressure comes from not moving at all!
How dare you talk to me like that? I gave birth to you, and you
Evelyn clenched her fists until they hurt, nails digging into her palms. I gave birth is that now an excuse for everything?
Olivia finally got through to Margaret and persuaded her to at least attend an interview. Margaret agreed, because Evelyn hovered like a hawk, not letting her refuse. She went to work for a week, returned with a sour expression, grimacing at every mention of duties.
Its a nightmare! Filth everywhere! They expect me to clean it all!
Mum, youre a cleaner. Thats the point of the job.
Its hard. My back hurts, my legs swell.
On the eighth day Margaret simply didnt show up. She turned off the alarm and slept until noon. Olivia later apologized for Margarets dismissal.
Eve, Im sorry. I thought
Its fine. Thanks for even trying.
The second time Evelyn found a spot for her mother, it was selling veg in a market stall. The manager needed a replacement. Margaret signed up, but after three days she quit, complaining it was cold, the customers rude, the wages pitiful.
Mum, you didnt even finish the first paycheck!
I cant! I cant, you hear me? You dont understand how hard it is! My blood pressure, I swear!
Evelyn felt a wave of fury, fled to the balcony, stood there for twenty minutes, breathing the cold air.
She didnt understand? She toiled twelvehour days, studied, shouldered the whole household. And she still didnt get it?
The arguments never ceased. Margaret demanded more money, better food, new clothes. Evelyn tried to explain she simply couldnt earn more.
Then find another job!
Mum, I have my studies! I sleep five hours!
I didnt get enough sleep when I was young.
You married young! And now you lounge on the sofa all day!
How dare you!
Margaret hurled plates, cups, the remote at her daughter. Evelyn ducked, feeling a numb indifference grow inside. She was twentyjust twentyand already felt like a horse overburdened with a weight she could not bear.
One evening, after an especially brutal shift, Evelyn came home to find her mother surrounded by empty supermarket bags.
Did you buy a cake? Evelyn stared at the massive cream confection on the table.
Yes. Craving something sweet.
For a thousand and five pounds? Mum, we could have survived a week on that!
Its my money! You gave it to me!
I gave it for food! Proper food! For rice, for meat!
Dont shout at me! Margaret crossed her arms, thrusting her chin forward. Im tired of your complaints! Work more if youre short!
Evelyn froze. A ringing filled her ears.
Thats enough, she rasped through clenched teeth.
What? Margaret sat up, staring at her daughter with a cold glare.
I wont give you another penny. I need it for my commute, for college, for
For yourself, of course! Selfish! I raised you, sacrificed everything, and you
You never sacrificed! You just lay there! Lying while Father toiled! Lying when he left! And you keep lying while I work!
Evelyn turned and fled to her room, slamming the door. She sat on the bed, trembling hands pulling out her phone. She opened job sites in other towns, scanning numbers, addresses, conditions. Then it hit hershe could leave. Just pack and go.
The next two weeks passed in a hazy fog. Evelyn gathered documents, searched for a rented room, arranged remote callcentre work in a neighbouring county. Mother didnt notice, absorbed in another series and her endless complaints.
On the final night Evelyn barely slept. She packed the essentialsclothes, papers, laptopinto a bag. On the kitchen table she left a note: I finally understand why Father left. It was because of you. Now its my turn.
Mother slept still when Evelyn quietly shut the flats door behind her. She headed for the bus station, feeling both traitor and liberated prisoner.
The first call came three hours later.
Where are you? Margarets voice trembled. Where have you gone?
Ive left, Mum.
How did you leave? Where to?
To another city. I need to start living on my own.
You have no right! she shrieked, making Evelyn pull the phone away. Im your mother! Youre obliged to support me!
No, Im not obliged.
Come back immediately! You cant abandon me!
I can.
Youre just like your father! Selfish!
Evelyn hung up, blocked the number, slipped on headphones, and turned the volume up to drown the voices in her head.
The new city greeted her with rain and a chill wind. The rented room in a student hall was tinybed, desk, wardrobebut it was her space.
Evelyn settled onto the bed. Somewhere in the past, her fathera man who fled when she was fourteenstill lingered in memory, as did the mother who turned her into a milkcow.
Forgive them? No. She could not forgive a father who abandoned her and her mother. If he had seen what a wife hed become, why did he leave? Why not take his daughter with him?
Forgive mother? No. For years shed used her daughter as a standin for the missing provider.
Evelyn now had no family, but she possessed something else: the right to live as she wished, the right not to feel guilty for every penny she spent on herself.
She wiped the rainslicked cheeks and opened her laptop. Tomorrow marked the start of a new lifehard, frightening, full of unknowns, but finally free.
