Maggie Johnson, my dear, was fuming that day. Whats this I hear about you feeding my soninlaw? Youve no sense of decency! she shouted, her voice echoing through the little kitchen. First you tore my only beloved boy from his mothers heart, and now youre trying to starve my husband! she wailed, flinging her arms wide.
Charlie Anderson, looking halfamused, halfexasperated, tried to keep his cool. Maggie, Ive had enough of the same old meals for forty years. Its the same thing day after day. Why dont you try a new cookbook? he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
Maggie snapped back, Ill show you a recipe so spectacular youll be happy even with a school primer! If you cant stand my cooking, maybe you should try something else, like that Gals stew?
Charlie chuckled, Ah, Ive tried Gals stew, you know. I need to know what she feeds my kids and grandchildren with, after all.
Maggie snarled, So now you want me to argue with your daughterinlaw? We lived peacefully enough. If you wanted the pots cleaned, you should have done it yourself!
I ought to have tried some alternative cooking, Charlie said, trying to sound clever. Maybe theres something like ambrosia with nectar in there?
What are you talking about? Maggie frowned.
Youre clueless about food. No wonder you never invite me to family gatherings, so I dont get any of your grub. And you never let me hang out with the lads at the local pub, because you think Ill just be a freerider, he muttered.
Maggies eyes flashed. Ill give you a taste of highend cooking youll never forget. Ill lock you in the loft and feed you something as bland as porridge with water, no salt, no sugar!
Who are you threatening? Charlie snapped. Your own husband! Have a conscience! If I cant take this, Ill leave you, move in with my son, and tell the whole village how you barely feed anyone!
Maggie scoffed, Hell be leaving anyway. Gals already waiting for him, and shell have a fit if I dont keep you out of her fridge. We cant afford to feed you too, so you might as well keep quiet.
Charlie crossed his arms, Fine, Ill talk. Give me the card and Ill head into town, buy that cookbook you want me to use, and then Ill actually help you out.
Maggie rolled her eyes, Exactly. Get the card, hop a bus to Manchester, pick up a proper British cookbook, and start learning. Youll be the one helping me around here.
Three minutes later Charlie was on a train, the card in his pocket, a cheap sandwich in his hand, and a plan to hit the shop at the station for a quick bite.
Emily! Maggie called down the hallway, referring to the halfgrown boys aunt. Lets have a proper row, then make up later!
Emily, whod just stepped into the communal kitchen, asked, Cant we just patch things up straight away? Maggie shrugged, The script says we need a proper showdown first.
She launched into her tirade, What are you doing feeding my husband? First you snatched my only son from his mothers arms, now youre trying to starve my husband too! The house was empty, so she felt free to let the words fly.
Emily, eager to defend herself, retorted, Im trying to feed my own husband and our kids! I had to dash to the shop because the fridge was empty, and I dont print money! She went on a rant about how Charlie was always grazing at the table with a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other, stealing bites like a cow licking a trough.
Maggie smiled, she loved a good spat with her daughterinlaw, even if it was all in good fun. Emily, she said softly, patting the chair beside her, we need to give my dear son a proper lesson.
Emily answered, Your husband, thats your call. If James finds out Im meddling, Ill be in trouble on both sides of the house.
Maggie laughed, Youre practically the village doctor! You know how to keep a man from turning against you. Ill be grateful if you keep my son away from your cooking.
Emily nodded, I can do more than that, but you sent me off for a cookbook, didnt you?
Maggie replied, And what? Ill keep making him suffer! I just need his nose turned away from your dishes. Thats my little vengeance, consider it a favour.
The whole thing felt like a classic English drama love, squabbles, and barely enough pennies to get by. In the town they all knew, everyone was either a businessman or an entrepreneur, while James and Emily were simple folk from a Yorkshire village. James was a mechanic, fiddling with tractors on the farm, and Emily ran the local health centre, though shed trained as a nurse.
When James returned to the countryside, Emily was posted to the nearest health post, and they met in the fields where ragged grass grew. When James saw Emily in her white coat, he immediately asked her to marry him. Ill visit you every day until you say yes! And if you look at anyone else, you wont need my help any more, he joked.
He courted her for a year until she finally gave in not because she was forced, but because she fell in love. James was honest, hardworking, and never got rich, but they threw a decent wedding, and most of Emilys relatives travelled a few days to be there, even if they had to squeeze into a communal carriage.
They moved into Jamess parents house, and Maggie, ever the matriarch, asked, How shall we live? One big household or each on our own?
Jamess dad, a blunt man named Arthur, replied, Theyre young, let them have their own place. James asked his father where they should go. Arthur chuckled, Why bother? This house was built for two families, and when one left, we just knocked down the extra wall. Its simple one kitchen, one bathroom a bit further down. Two families under one roof, same roof, each minding their own business.
They made it work, though they had to sort out the finances. Emily had lived in a farm hostel before, so she didnt have much savings, and Maggie wasnt keen on sharing her own. A daughterinlaw should bring a dowry, not dip into her motherinlaws piggy bank! Maggie declared.
They took out a loan for a fridge, a microwave, and a heap of dishes, buying more as needed. It wasnt perfect, but they got by.
Of course, a shared kitchen breeds a few spats. One day Emily was busy cooking dinner when an urgent call sent her off to the neighbouring village. She wrapped up some buckwheat porridge, slipped it into a thermos, and rushed off. When she returned, James met her with a sigh, Do you have any conscience? You work all day, but you cant forget the family! I got home, collected the kids from school, and theres nothing to eat.
Emily blinked, What do you mean theres nothing? I was just cooking!
James shook his head, I dont know what you cooked, but we opened the fridge and found nothing no ham, no cheese, no butter. Youd better pay more attention to the house!
Emily, feeling the heat, retorted, You think Im just here to feed you? Im buying groceries with my pay, filling the fridge, but you act like youre the only one who matters.
James, flustered, tried to defend himself, Wheres the proof? If you didnt put anything in the fridge, why are you accusing me of stealing?
Emily answered, If you dont put anything in there, you cant take it without a conscience!
James, in classic English fashion, lifted a finger and said, No proof, no crime! And being greedy is a bad thing, you know.
Emily, fed up, marched over to Maggie. Were not swimming in cash, but I try to buy something nice for my husband and children. Its not for your son, its for my own family.
Maggie, ever the sharptongued motherinlaw, replied, If youre sorry, say it!
Emily sighed, I am sorry. I work, James works, we have two kids, your grandchildren, and you think Im feeding them better than you do. Is that okay?
They both walked away, a little bruised but still standing.
Later, James, feeling the pressure, confronted Emily again, Whats the plan then? To keep feeding my family or not?
Emily shrugged, Ill keep buying what we need. Im not going to let you starve us.
Maggie, seeing the stalemate, decided to take a drastic step. She pulled out a cheque for two million pounds and handed it to Emily, saying, Use this to build your own house, preferably in another village. Ill even throw in a bit more when my investment matures. She added, And dont think Ill let you keep feeding my son forever. Hell have to fend for himself eventually.
In the end, everything settled down. Maggie still visited the family now and then, James kept his cheeky grin, and Emily finally had a proper kitchen of her own. It wasnt a fairytale, but it was a proper English story of love, food, and a healthy dose of family drama.
