Let me tell you about the revelation that struck me late in life. Sadly, it brought me face to face with truths I wish Id realised sooner, but better late than never.
Now, at seventy years old, I find myself alone. My children havent spoken to me in over a decade. My grandchildren likely dont even know I exist. How did it all come to this?
It dawned on me only as I grew olderId lived my life all wrong and committed mistakes I now bitterly regret. But you cant turn the clock back.
For as long as I can remember, I saw my children as rather foolish, lacking sense. I was convinced it was my duty to teach them, to steer them onto the right path, to always tell them how they should be living. Whenever things didnt go well for them, Id waste no time pointing it out, repeating my favourite phrase: If only youd listened to your mother, things would be different now.
I was forever interferingpoking my nose into every corner of their lives, convinced they couldnt handle anything without my input. There were occasions when Id say something blunt or cutting even in front of guests or relatives. It just seemed normal at the time.
Slowly but surely, my children began to pull away. Now, we are complete strangers. I didnt even hear about the birth of my granddaughter from the family; I found out from acquaintances.
I tried reaching outcalling, writing lettersbut nothing worked. Eventually, my children replied:
If were so dim, maybe you should find smarter people to talk to. Why would you want us in your life?
Looking back, I realise now that children must always be treated as complete adults, entitled to their own choices. They need a mother who understands, who offers comfort, who bakes them a lovely pie and makes them a cup of teanot someone who meddles in every aspect of their private lives. Its their journey, and they have every right to live it their own way.
Now I sit here, wise in my own mind, but left with nothing but silence.
Cherish your children while you can, or you too might find yourself alone in your old age.
