A year has passed since I found myself alone. After my wifes funeral, it took me some time to pull myself together, and once I did, I realised that loneliness wasnt the only challenge I now faced. Id found myself in dire financial straits. Ive always lived modestly and denied myself little luxuries, but no matter how careful I am, unexpected costs crop upmedication, visits to the GP, that sort of thing.
We brought up two children together, my wife and I, always trying to support them as best we could. Practically every spare pound we had went to helping our son and daughter when they needed it. We helped them and their families get their first homes, and I suspect a fair chunk of my own money ended up making their lives more comfortable. I know that, when my time comes, the house will go to both of themunless I say otherwise in my will, which Ive no intention of doing. Theyre sensible adults; they know the value of property and what inheriting a home means these days.
Ive tried, more than once, to hint to them that Im struggling to make ends meet. If only theyd help cover the ever-increasing utility bills, I wouldnt have to worry so much about how Ill manage until my next pension payment comes in. My daughter always seems to dodge the hint, acting like she hasnt caught my drift at all, and, as for my son, well, his wife manages all their finances, so my requests just seem to vanish into thin air.
I have a reasonable idea of what both my children earn, and Im genuinely glad for them. They have nice cars, take trips abroad, and my grandchildren always seem to have a tidy bit of pocket money to spare. Sometimes, when I see them spending in an afternoon what amounts to my entire pension, I wonder where I went wrong. Did we really bring up such indifferent children, ones who dont care to see their father struggling, who dont think to lift a finger to help? We always set an exampleI remember taking food round to our own parents, picking up their prescriptions, paying the doctors fees, never counting the cost because it was just what families did.
A close mate suggested I should move in with my son or daughter, dont even askjust announce itand then rent my own house out. Its not what I want, truly, but Im starting to see I may not have much choice if the next chat with my children goes nowhere. My pension alone isnt enough, and every penny I saved has been spent making sure my children had a better start than we did.
Its a hard pill to swallow, realising you can give all your love and support to your family, and still find yourself needing to ask for help. If theres anything Ive learnt, its that one mustnt assume kindness will be repaid in kind, but, all the same, I hope theyll remember the example we tried to set before its too late.
