April 14th
Ive been mulling over a situation thats caused a fair bit of tension in our household. My late aunt, bless her, left my wife a small flat right in the heart of Manchester. Its not much by some measures, but having a place in the city centre is no small thing. My wife and I have three children: our eldest, Emily, is nineteen and studying at university. Then theres Thomas, hes twelve, and our littlest, Oliver, is just five. We all live quite comfortably in a spacious three-bedroom flat, so the kids arent exactly tripping over each other.
Still, a disagreement has cropped up between us. I suggested to my wife that perhaps Emily could move into the flat. Shes grown up now and, knowing how things go, may well be thinking about marriage in the near future. However, my wife takes a different viewshe believes it would be completely unfair to our sons if Emily were given the place, proposing instead that we sell the flat and split the proceeds equally among all the children. To my mind, though, that seems a bit misguided. If we divided up, say, £100,000, and put the money in the childrens savings accounts, it wouldnt be enough for any of them to actually buy a place of their own down the line.
Even if we followed my wifes plan, the money would just sit there until the boys come of age, and all Emily might be able to do is put it towards a cheap car. Ive always held that its better to have something solid in your hand than chase something uncertain, so I feel we should at least give one child a proper start in life. Perhaps once the boys are older, well be in a better position to help them out with housing as well.
My wife, on the other hand, is convinced that giving the flat to Emily could sow resentment between her and her brothers, spoiling the peace in our family for good. Im not so sure; the lads are still too young to fully understand any of this and we have time to think about their futures as well.
We havent breathed a word of this debate to Emily. Frankly, its because the flat right now is in quite a dire stateit needs a thorough renovation before anyone could live in it, and, to add to the complication, we dont have the savings to fix it up just yet.
So, I keep asking myself: who has the right of it hereme, or my wife? Should I stick to my guns, or would it be wiser to compromise, or maybe theres a middle road that neither of us has seen yet?
All this makes me realise that sometimes, as a parent and husband, theres rarely a perfect answeronly a balance between fairness and practicality. What matters most, I suppose, is that whatever we decide, we do it together, keeping our family strong and united.
