After our son got married, he stopped visiting us altogether. Now, he spends all his time with his mother-in-law, who somehow always needs urgent help. I honestly cant fathom how she managed before her daughter married our son.
Our son has been married for over two years now. After their wedding, our children moved into their own flatthe one we bought for our son when he started university. From childhood, we always provided him with support and understanding. Even before marriage, he was living alone because his flat was close to his workplace.
I wont pretend I disliked my daughter-in-law; at the time, I simply thought she wasnt mature enough for married life, even though our son is only two years her senior. She often behaved like a little girlspoilt and stubborn. Our son is so kindhearted, and honestly, I worried about how hed cope with someone so childish.
Meeting her and her mother helped me see who they both truly were. Despite being my age, his mother-in-law acted like a child herself. I suppose youve come across people who stay childish even as adults? Some folk never seem to grow uptheyre helpless and unable to handle lifes challenges. By the time her daughter married, this woman had been divorced six times.
We had nothing in common to talk about, as she lived in her own world, but she wasnt overbearing. Our conversations rarely went beyond polite congratulations at the wedding.
The warning signs started before the ceremony. My daughter-in-law kept dragging our son round to her mothers house: there was always somethinga leaking tap, a broken socket, a fallen shelf in the kitchen. At first, I turned a blind eye; there isnt a man in their home, so I thought a bit of help wouldnt hurt.
But over time, the number of problems in his mother-in-laws house never dwindled. Our son began neglecting visits to us, always with the excuse that he and his wife were off to her mothers. All their holidays started being celebrated at her place, and we were left with just myself, my husband, and mother-in-law.
It hurt, seeing him drop out of every family occasion, but what cut deeper was when he began ignoring our requests for help.
A little while ago, we bought a new fridge and asked our son to come and help bring it in. He agreed at first, then rang up to say he couldnt make it; he and his wife were heading to her mothers, because her washing machine was leaking.
When my wife rang him again, she overheard my daughter-in-law saying, Cant your parents just hire a removal team? Our son eventually turned up, but he was livid.
Dad, couldnt you have hired movers? Now I have to drag this thing myself!
I lost heart. Why couldnt his mother-in-law call a professional? Does she live in some alternate reality where tradesmen dont exist? My son claimed his mother-in-law needed help because every time she hired someone, theyd cheat her and nothing got fixed.
Thats when my husband finally snapped. He said perhaps our sons mother-in-law isnt any good with appliances, but shes certainly skilled at shepherding sheepmeaning, shes expert at leading my son around by the nose. Our son took instant offence and stormed out. I stayed silent then, even though I felt my husband had a pointhis new relations have been relying on our son for everything. Hes their handyman, yet hes completely forgotten about us, no longer has time or reason to visit.
After that row, our son hasnt spoken to his father for two weeks. My husband refuses to reach out first. I feel caught in the middle, torn. My husband is right, but perhaps he couldve been gentler. Now our son bears a grudge and wont visit, and I dread losing him over something so trivial.
Neither is budging. My husband wont call, and our son says hell never make contact until his father apologises. In all this mess, the only one who seems content is the mother-in-law.
