How We Broke Up
Yes, we decided it was for the best. Calmly, without tears or shoutingwe handled it well, even managed a few jokes between us. Were civilised people, after all.
My wife packed her things. She took our little dog with her, too.
She left.
Only for three days, thoughshe went to her younger sisters place.
The girls just wanted a break together during the holiday. They lounged about as long as they liked, chatted endlessly, watched movies, nibbled chocolate in bed, giggled at silly photos on Instagram, and cuddled the tiny dog.
What did I do? Oh, nothing much to write home about. I didnt dash out for a pint or ring up the lads for a drunken night. That wasnt what I wanted or needed.
Well, perhaps I did play music loudly in the morning. And I scrubbed the hob and cleaned out the fridgethose were my big acts of rebellion.
Yesterday, my wife and the dog came back. In the evening. Hugs, kissesthe usual routine. But this time, I suggested we take the dog for a walk together. Normally, my wife does it by herself and never for long. We bundled the dog up in her warm little jumper and set off, wandering around the block in the chilly dusk. Side by side, just talking and talking. Somewhere along the way, the dog lost her winter boot, and we never even noticed.
Normally in the evenings, wed settle down to a film or bury ourselves in our books. But not this time. We simply turned in early.
You know, Im absolutely convinced that little separations are good for a marriage. In fact, I think theyre truly necessaryat least once every six months or so. No bickering, none of that Im off to mothers! drama. No. I mean healthy breaks. Striking an agreementperhaps one goes to her sisters, the other visits a mate in Brighton, or nips away to the Lakes. Many options, really.
Taking a brief holiday from each other is vital. Even for couples who get on brilliantly. There has to be some tension, some change in the plotkeeps things interesting.
And sometimes, its essential for a man to be on his own. Not going feral, not guzzling ale from dawn, but just having space. Perhaps women need that as wellthough I wouldnt presume to be an expert on that. Still, it seems to me that women are just more social, more communicative as a rule. But what do I know, really?
For a man, a short spell of solitude is almost a biological necessity. Why do you think husbands toddle off to go fishing? Do they care about the catch? Hardly. What they need is a day or two of peace, sitting by the water, listening to the birds. Its a sort of meditation.
But the most important bit is coming home. That moment, dear friends, is pure joytenderness and passion bottled into one. Thats what its all about. Hello, my love!
And then, theres nothing better than having an early night the sooner, the better.
