How My Sons Mother-in-Law Took Him Away From Us
Ever since our son married, we barely see him anymore. These days, he always seems to be at his mother-in-laws place. She constantly has some urgent need for his help. I honestly cant imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son.
Our sons been married for just over two years. After the wedding, he and his wife moved out together into a flat wed bought for him back when he started university. Weve always supported him, right from childhood, and tried to offer him nothing but understanding. Even before he married, he lived alone for some time as his flat was near his work.
Its not that I disliked my daughter-in-law, but from the start, I felt she wasnt quite mature enough for married life, though she was only two years younger than our son. Honestly, she often acted quite childishly and was prone to little fits. Our sons always been such a gentle soul, and I couldnt help but worry about how hed cope with such childishness from his wife.
Meeting her and her mother told me everything I needed to know. Despite the fact that my sons mother-in-law is about my age, she behaves, quite frankly, like a child herself. You must have met those sortsadults who somehow never grow up, so utterly helpless and dependent? At the time of her daughters wedding, she was already on her sixth marriage.
We never really found common ground to chat with her, as she seemed to live in her own little world. She never forced herself upon us though. Our conversations were nothing more than polite congratulations about the childrens weddingand that was it.
The first warning signs came even before the wedding, as our soon-to-be daughter-in-law was always dragging our son back to her mums for one crisis after anothera leaking tap, a broken socket, a cupboard door falling off in the kitchen. The first few times, I told myself not to mind; after all, there wasnt a man in their household to help out. He was probably doing her a favour.
But after a while, the crises at her mothers house never seemed to end. Our son started turning down time with us, always with the excuse that he and his wife had to go to her mothers. Soon, all the holidays were spent at the mother-in-laws, while it was just me, my father, and my own mother left at home.
Not seeing him at family gatherings was disappointing enough, but it hurt even more when he started ignoring our requests for help.
Recently, we bought a new fridge and asked our son to give us a hand carrying it in. At first, he agreed, but later rang to say he couldnt make it as he and his wife were off to her mothers because the washing machine was leaking.
When my husband called our son, I could hear my daughter-in-law in the background saying, Couldnt your parents just hire a removal team? Our son eventually turned up to help but looked absolutely furious.
Dad, couldnt you have booked movers? Now Im having to lug this thing around!
I lost my patience then, wondering why, if it were her house, his mother-in-law couldnt just pay for a repairman herself. Perhaps she lives in some fantasy England where tradesmen dont exist? My son said she needed help because apparently, everyones out to scam you these days and you pay but nothing ever gets fixed.
At that point, my husband snapped. He said perhaps my sons mother-in-law couldnt run a washing machine, but shes a brilliant shepherd, as shes managed to lead one sheep very successfully. Our son got angry and stormed out. I stayed quiet, mostly because I actually agreed with my husbandmy sons new relatives are taking advantage of him. Hes become their plumber and handyman, and meanwhile, he barely has time for us.
After that row, my son hasnt spoken to his father for more than two weeks. His dad also refuses to make the first move towards a truce. And Im left utterly torn between them. Of course, my husband is right, but I do wish hed phrased things a little more gentlynow our sons upset and refuses to see him, and I dont want to lose him over something so trivial.
Now my husband wont call, and my son insists he wont be in touch unless his dad apologises. In all of this, only his mother-in-law seems to be perfectly content!
