Ever since our son got married, he barely wants to visit us anymore. Now hes always round at his mother-in-laws place, where apparently theres always some urgent thing that needs sorting. Honestly, Ive no idea how the woman managed before her daughter married our son.
Our sons been married for over two years now. Once he tied the knot, he and his wife moved into a flat we bought for him when he started university. Hes always had our support growing up, and even before they married, hed been living on his own because the flat was right near his job.
I wouldnt say I disliked my daughter-in-law, but even from the start, I felt she wasnt ready for the responsibilities of married lifeshe just seemed so young for it, though our son is only two years older. She often acted rather childishly and could be terribly moody at times. Our son is so lovely, and I kept wondering how hed cope with such an overgrown child.
After getting to know her and her mum, it became clear what we were dealing with. Although my sons mother-in-law is my age, she carries on like a teenager. Perhaps youve come across people who never really seem to grow up, no matter their age? Infuriatingly childish and completely helpless. At the time of her daughters wedding, shed already been divorced six times.
I could never really hold a conversation with her; weve nothing in common, and she lives entirely in her own little bubble. Still, she never imposed, and our interactions were strictly limited to polite greetings at the childrens wedding and so on.
The warning signs appeared just before the wedding, when our daughter-in-law kept dragging our son over to her mums: sometimes the kitchen tap was leaking; other times it was a broken plug socket or a shelf fallen down in the kitchen. At first, I let it slideafter all, in a house without a man about, I suppose some help is needed.
But as time went on, the household crises at his mother-in-laws never seemed to end. Our son started to ignore us entirely, always saying he and his wife were busy helping her mum. Soon they were even spending every holiday and family get-together at her house, leaving just me, my dad, and my own mother at ours.
It was one thing when he stopped coming over for family celebrations, but it became much more upsetting when he began ignoring our requests for help altogether. Once, when we bought a new fridge and asked him to help bring it in, he initially agreed. Then he called back to say he couldnt make it, as he and his wife had to head to her mumsthe washing machine was leaking, apparently.
When I rang to ask about it, I overheard my daughter-in-law say, Cant your parents just hire a removals team? Our son did turn up in the end, but he was in a terrible mood.
Dad, couldnt you have just got professionals in? Now I have to lug this by myself!
I couldnt help but wonder why his mother-in-law never just called someone herself. Perhaps, I thought, in her world, repairmen dont exist? Our son said she needed the help, as people cant be trustedthey charge a fortune and never fix anything properly.
That was when my husband had had enough. He said, Maybe your mother-in-law doesnt know the first thing about housework, but shes quite the shepherd, the way she manages to lead you about! Predictably, our son was furious with his father and stormed out. I kept out of it; my husband wasnt wronghis new in-laws are always hanging round our sons neck. Hes there for every clogged pipe and broken appliance at their house, and meanwhile he doesnt have time for us anymore.
After that row, our son didnt speak to his father for over a fortnight. And my husbands made up his mind not to be the first to reach out. I feel torn, right in the middle myself. Of course, my husband had a point, but he couldve put it more gently. Now our son is sulking and doesnt want to see his dad, and I cant bear the thought of losing him over such silliness.
My husband refuses to pick up the phone, and our sons just as stubborn, saying he wont call until he gets an apology. And in all this drama, the only one who seems to be doing just fine is my sons mother-in-law!
