Its too daunting, you see, travelling alone with just my daughter just the two of us, you understand two women, not knowing the language, what if something happens Maxs mother, Mrs Margaret Bennett, waves a hand dismissively. But with you two along, it all feels much less scary. And well be close by, should anything come up.
Lizzie has yet to realise just how close by that really means.
She lets out a sigh. Such a shame.
Holiday plans, full of anticipation, began half a year ago. Lizzie and her fiancé Max, along with their friends Vicky and Chris, had started mapping everything out early. Chris is Maxs brother, and Vicky his wife the sort of couple you could just as happily head to the pub with or hop on a plane to Spain. They all clicked, sharing ideas of the perfect break.
Twice last year the four of them went away together; both times were a roaring success.
But now
Well, you cant blame Vicky for being ill at the wrong time. Lizzie wouldnt dream of it; fates no respecter of travel plans.
But isnt she allowed to be gutted all the same?
Oh, what can you do now?” Chris sighs. Youll just have to wander the old ruins without us.
Hes disappointed too, of course, but its not as if he can jet off and leave his poorly wife behind not with a clear conscience.
No one expects that of him anyway.
Still, its a real shame about the money for the package holidays they wont get the full refund at this stage. And all the careful planning, dashed to bits.
That same evening, Mrs Bennett mother to Max and Chris pops round, a regular occurrence since she and Max are fairly close.
All things considered, shes not a bad sort. Eccentric, perhaps what English mother-in-law isnt? trying to teach Lizzie how to run a proper home every now and then, advice Lizzies friends agree is mild compared to their own dragon-in-law tales.
Yes, Mrs Bennett drops in often (about four times a week), but only occasionally doles out her pearls of domestic wisdom. Sometimes, Lizzie has even found them helpful. She certainly doesnt think of her as some dire ogre.
So, when Mrs Bennett proposes joining them on holiday, Lizzie is actually quite amenable.
Margaret suggests: shell take her younger daughter, Molly buy up Chris and Vickys tickets, and off theyll all trot to Portugal. Shell warm her tired bones in the sun and find a bit of adventure with her eldest son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.
Its too daunting, you see, travelling alone with just my daughter just the two of us, you understand two women, not knowing the language, what if something happens Mrs Bennett repeats.
But with you two along, it all feels much less scary. And well be close by, should anything come up.
Lizzie still doesnt grasp just how ever-present Mrs Bennett will be.
Had she known, shed never have agreed to accompany her future in-law.
But then again, perhaps its better this way better to discover the true colours of your intendeds family (and your partner) before signing any marital forms, rather than dealing with complicated paperwork later.
All things considered, Lizzie gets off lightly.
When she agrees to the shared holiday, her friends nearly stage an intervention.
Who on earth willingly goes on holiday with their mother-in-law-to-be? one laughs. “Shell drive you mad, ruling the roost and making you and Max run round after her.
And since shes taking her daughter, no doubt shell have one of you play nanny and keep Molly entertained.
Lizzie retorts that Molly is already a grown woman of nineteen, not exactly desperate for her relatives to act as her personal activities rep.
Realistically, Molly barely exchanges two words with Lizzie outside of greetings, goodbyes, and the odd pass the salt at family meals.
Its difficult to see the future sister-in-law suddenly becoming desperate for constant company on the holiday.
As for Mrs Bennett Sure, the trip will have to be tailored a bit for her presence, but how bad can it be? Its only two weeks, after all.
And if it does turn out to be a trial, well, thats a perfect excuse to steer clear next time without seeming rude.
After all, you cant turn something down without trying it at least once, can you? Thats how Lizzie was raised.
Plus Mrs Bennett is nothing like her friends horror stories those proper English battleaxes who would chew you up for putting a mug in the wrong cupboard.
Her friends had said, Youre lucky! Consider yourself blessed with Maxs family.
Now, with the holiday looming, those same friends try to talk her out of it.
But how can she, now that Mrs Bennett is buzzing with excitement and Max is delighted that he gets to take his mum to Portugal?
The first warning comes during the flight.
Molly bags the window seat, and no one minds. Lizzie, used to flights for work, thinks nothing of a view out of the window just part of the usual backdrop.
Max isnt interested either; hes happier with the in-flight film selection.
Lizzie herself always favours an aisle seat its just easier for nipping to the loo without stumbling over snoozing neighbours.
Across the aisle sits Mrs Bennett, visibly agitated and, as the plane hits a patch of turbulence, she nearly dissolves into tears.
Lizzie cant refuse when Mrs Bennett asks to swap seats so she can sit next to Max it calms her nerves.
Still, after the ride is over, no one seems keen to switch back.
In fact, Mrs Bennett begins to watch Maxs film with theatrical interest, before falling asleep with her head on her sons shoulder.
Come on, dont get cross, Lizzie tells herself. If youd just suffered a fright like that, you wouldnt have the heart to swap back either. And itd be plain rude to wake up a sleeping person
Her inner voice notes, though, that Mrs Bennett wakes precisely as the food trolley rattles past. And she could have switched with Molly instead; the girls long since lost interest in the window view, shutter pulled down as she too watches a film.
Watching this family tableau, Lizzie starts feeling more and more irked a feeling that only grows stronger at the airport.
Once they land, Max doesnt even glance Lizzies way. His first move is to rush to help his mum with her luggage, then fetch her some water.
It starts to feel as though shes a spare part the invisible woman, easy enough to forget.
Darling, dont be like that, Max insists, when she later mentions it. Nobodys pushing you aside. Mums just never been abroad before, especially after such a stressful flight
And whose bright idea was it for her to come, then? Lizzie bites her tongue, refraining from voicing that particular thought.
A faint echo inside from those years of her mothers lessons: one must always be kind to ones elders, help the weaker, and consider others tugs at her.
Lizzie is a perfectly fit young woman; nobody needs to fuss over her.
But Maxs mum has just faced a real ordeal, and deserves some sympathy, which Max tries to show.
And, admittedly, nothing terrible happens to Lizzie from Max helping his mum with her bags and asking if shes alright.
Little does she know, however, that the trouble is only just beginning.
By the very next evening, Maxs mother makes a grand production almost rolling out the fanfare as she officially moves into their hotel room.
