So, are you trying to repopulate the country or what? How many more are you planning to have? my mother-in-law, Judith Williams, asked me with a mocking tone.
Good afternoon to you too! Judith, must you always be so sharp? I replied politely. Is it because Oliver told you were having another baby that youre so rattled?
Of course I am! After your third child, I begged you to stop. Wont you ever listen to reason? I even gave you a box of condoms for Christmasthought youd finally try some proper family planning, but clearly not! Judith grumbled, her words thick with exasperation.
I couldnt help but recall the moment Judith handed me that enormous box of condoms last Christmas. It was at our eldests birthday, and it was obvious she was hinting that three was quite enough.
Weve heard your opinion, but you cant fight whats meant to be, I answered her calmly.
Oh, dont get smart with me, she snapped. Deal with them yourself from now on. Dont expect any help from me
You never really have I started to say, but the call cut off before I got far.
I tossed my phone on the bed, smiled to myself, and gently rested my hand on my still-flat tummy. Oliver and I were expecting our fourth, and that was clearly more than Judith could tolerate.
What I found strange was how agitated she always seemed, considering shed never once looked after the children or lent us a hand financially. On her best months, she pops by to visit the kids, and on birthdays or Christmas, she brings the odd present. I resented her standoffishness, but Ive always kept it to myself. Judith isnt short of money; she could easily spoil her grandchildren a tad more, but she simply doesnt want to. I never even bring it up with Oliver. Our children are well looked after and have everything they need, and thats all that matters.
Oliver does well at work, and Ive managed to earn a bit on the side myself. Once my small business took off, I even hired a nanny so I could work uninterrupted. The nanny plays with the children or takes them out while I crack on.
Weve built a lovely home, but Judiths constant criticisms cast a cloud over our happiness. She wasnt keen on me from the beginning, and was absolutely livid when the children came so close together.
When I fell pregnant the third time, Judith wanted me to have a termination, but eventually, she warmed up to our daughter. Things had finally settled down when I found out I was expecting again. The fourth wasnt planned, but we welcomed it; if it was meant to be, wed love this child just the same.
Judiths displeasure, I suspect, isnt about the children exactly, but rather about Oliver not being able to help her out as much. He regularly sends her money and sees that shes comfortable, but shes clearly worried that four children will thin out the support shes grown accustomed to, especially since her bookshop recently closed.
I actually dont object to Olivers generosity toward his motherprovided our own household is secure. Were still managing, so I encourage him to continue. Hes already sorted out dental work for her, paid for her to have a holiday by the seaside, even arranged for repairs on her flat.
But if it really is about money for Judith, shell only become more disgruntled as our own family needs grow. Her constant nagging and lamenting threaten to push me over the edge, especially while Im pregnant.
None of it, however, will change our minds. Were having our fourth child, and thats the end of it. The only real question isdoes a mother-in-law have any right to tell a couple how many children they ought to have?
