Oh, you wouldnt believe what happened at the start of my married life this is something my mother-in-law probably still remembers, even now!
So, right after my husband and I tied the knot, I noticed something a bit odd. It wasnt about him honestly, hes still just perfect in my eyes but his mum, Margaret, well, her behaviour was a bit… off.
It all started at the wedding itself. She stood there looking absolutely furious, as if she was at a funeral instead of celebrating her sons big day. After the wedding, it just carried on, but since we were so young and hadnt found our own place yet, we ended up living with her in her house in Oxford.
Now, when I first moved in, she greeted me all warmly, and I honestly thought she was genuinely happy for us. I chalked her moody wedding behaviour up to being poorly maybe a headache or something. But under that half-hearted smile, she was always throwing shade and making sneaky little digs at me. Shed never outright say anything nasty, but her passive-aggressive attitude made things awkward.
For instance, shed get up in the middle of the night and re-wash all the plates that Id done earlier. One time, I caught her red-handed and asked what she was up to. She just put on a totally innocent act and said she was washing dirty dishes. I couldnt help but think, “Does she reckon my plates are filthy or something?” From that day, I doubted whether her kindness was genuine.
For ages, I actually took her gentle criticisms as bits of motherly advice and even shared bits about the ups and downs with my husband, David.
But then, things changed. Turns out, a good mate of mine, Ben, worked as a driver at her office, and through the grapevine, I started hearing these absolutely wild rumours about our marriage. According to her, David was a bit of a pauper and a clingy sod, and I was the manipulative wife trying to get my mitts on her flat. Honestly, you couldnt make it up!
Thats when it hit me Margaret wasnt my friend at all; she was actually out to get me.
Shes got this real obsession with cleanliness. Her house in Oxford is spotless, practically squeaky like an operating theatre. She expected nothing less from David and me. We tried our best, but it was impossible to measure up.
Then she went away on a business trip for two weeks and made it very clear she expected the place to be sparkling when she got back. She acted like a little bit of dust on the carpet or a hair in the bath could give her palpitations and heaven help me if she found a teacup in the sink! So, whenever she was around, David and I would be on tenterhooks, tiptoeing around, desperate to keep things tidy.
Well, for those two weeks shed be off, wed planned to chill out and do a good clean right before she got back. But being crafty, she gave us the wrong return date and secretly planned to turn up unexpectedly bringing her friends along, just so she could make me look bad in front of them.
Luckily, Ben caught wind of her scheme and tipped me off. I was absolutely fuming. There and then, I decided I wouldnt let her win. I went into full-on cleaning mode; scrubbed every nook and cranny till the house was gleaming.
So when she arrived, with a bunch of her friends and that cheeky driver, she unlocked the door all smug, thinking she was going to catch us out. Instead, she walks in to find everything immaculate actually cleaner than ever. Her friends stood there, mouths open, starting to whisper and give Margaret funny looks, while I just popped out casually (wiping my brow and quietly stashing the Hoover), and said, Margaret, where else would you find a carpet this clean?
She was absolutely gutted. She started glaring around the place, hunting for some dirt to moan about, and I thought to myself, Go on, have a good look. You wont find anything! I fought the urge to laugh out loud.
In the end, Margaret was the one who looked silly, especially at her office in Oxford. People stopped listening to her gossip, and a lot of them actually sided with me. Id managed to deal a massive blow to her pride and even though its been seventeen years, I bet she still hasnt forgotten it!
