By my thirtieth birthday, I was able to buy a two-room apartment. I live in it alone, and so far I haven’t found a potential spouse. Do you know what I see as the reason for my difficulties in my personal life? It’s because I have an apartment. These days, it’s hard for a woman to be independent and feminine at the same time. I would divide all my suitors into two groups:
1. You have your own place? Excellent, let’s move in and I do not have to worry.
The man does not want to strain and is ready to live on everything ready. My having a place to live is seen as a definite plus, he’s ready to build a family with me and have children, as long as nothing much changes in his life. Such a man does not want to build a career or earn more money. I have already solved the housing problem, he doesn’t need a car, and if it’s for the family, mine will do, so he doesn’t see any need to achieve more.
When I talk to men like that, I get the impression that they are better suited to be my sons than my husbands. Such a man needs to be fed, pampered, and provided for, and then you have to make sure he doesn’t leave. I do not need such a happiness, I’d rather have a cat, and the freed time to spend on hobbies.
2. Do you have your own apartment? I will not go to the reception, let’s better live with my parents, or go to the country, and we can sell the apartment, buy another one together.
I especially like the latter option. I have a long time earned on housing to sell it and a couple of decades to pay the mortgage. If only my potential husband was going to pay the mortgage himself, but no. It turns out that since I have a good income, and pay it to me, and he will help, how can. And if I go on maternity leave? It turns out that once we pay the mortgage, and then I was already allowed to have a baby, it’s nothing, that by then I will be over forty. The main thing is not to bother my husband with my problems, so he can live without worry and hassle.
More and more often I think that it is easier to take a three-year-old child from an orphanage than to find a man who is not afraid to give birth. It seems that even if I get married, I will have to provide for myself, solve all my problems by myself, and I will probably have to love myself as well. So why do I need a man by my side in that case?
Now I am the mistress of my own house and my own life. I have a good repair, plenty of room for me and my hobbies. Sometimes I want a family, a loved one by my side, but the situations I encounter in real life quickly destroy this dream. I shall tell one of cases which have occurred to me quite recently.
I had a crush on a man I knew, and he seemed to reciprocate. We watched a movie in my apartment and I wanted pizza. I thought that he could at least take this part of the date. He did, of course: went out to the elevator to meet the courier and paid him for a pizza, though for this very money he took from me. And communication, and any sympathy after that ended.
Maybe I myself am to blame. My friends tell me that I should not have offered to pay for the pizza. I was curious whether he would take the money or refuse. For me, the amount is not much. But it’s not about the money…
