*”How could you let your ex-mother-in-law see your daughter? Have you no pride at all?”*
— Last week, my little girl turned two. We had a small celebration with just a few close family members. Her father, my ex-husband, didn’t even remember her birthday—no call, no message, nothing. But his mother, my former mother-in-law, rang me beforehand. She said she’d like to come over and wish my little one a happy birthday. I thought, *What’s the harm?* She arrived with a gift—a plush toy, some sweets, and an envelope with cash inside. We took a stroll in the park together, then came back home… and that’s when the nightmare began. — Marina, 30, recounts with despair.
— What happened?
— The moment my mum saw me with Valerie Wilkins, she flew into an absolute rage. She started shouting that I’d shamed the family, that I had no self-respect. *How could you let that woman near your child?* she kept yelling. Said I should’ve thrown that *pitiful gift* back in her face and slammed the door on her.
— She seriously took issue with the presents?
— Yes! Said the toy was cheap, the chocolates were unhealthy, and the money could’ve been more. She went on about it all night! Accused me of grovelling to my ex-mother-in-law, acting like *the wicked grandmother* was welcome in our home. As if she’d forgotten how that woman once threw me out without a penny.
Marina divorced a year ago. Her husband had never been ready for a real family. When the tough times came—sleepless nights, a crying baby, money troubles—he simply gave up. Decided it was easier, cheaper, and quieter to live without a wife and child. Packed his things without a word and left. The flat was in his mother’s name, and Marina was practically *shown the door*.
— I didn’t even understand what was happening. It was like someone had flipped a switch. Where was I supposed to go? What was I meant to do? I was just… numb.
The divorce was handled by Valerie’s solicitor. There was nothing to split—the flat and car were in his parents’ names, and he had nothing in his. Even the child support he pays is a joke. Marina didn’t have the heart or strength to fight for more in court. She was too exhausted, too broken.
— I only asked for one thing—to stay in that flat until my maternity leave ended. I didn’t want to move back in with Mum. She’s… difficult. But Valerie flat-out refused. Said I wasn’t the first daughter-in-law, and I wouldn’t be the last. *This isn’t a hotel*, she told me.
Still, before Marina left, Valerie *did* help—hired movers, packed her things, even took them to Marina’s mum’s place. Told her she could take whatever she needed, but Marina only took her own belongings. She didn’t want anyone accusing her of anything later.
Now, for eight months, she and her little girl have been crammed into a tiny one-bed flat with her mother. The child support barely covers nappies. Neither her ex nor his family have shown the slightest interest in the child. No calls, no messages. Only Valerie, the *former* mother-in-law, occasionally checks in on the little one.
— I just didn’t want more arguments. That’s why I agreed to meet her on neutral ground—in the park. — Marina sighs. — I *knew* Mum would be against it, but I hoped she’d understand. No such luck.
— She didn’t just get cross. She nearly threw me out. Called me a *traitor*. Said if I was so keen on being kind, maybe I should go live with my ex’s family. *You can’t raise a daughter right because you’ve got no backbone*, she said. *They walked all over you, and now you’re rolling out the red carpet for the grandmother?*
— Marina, but Valerie didn’t *have* to call. She reached out, didn’t she?
— That’s what I thought. But Mum won’t budge. To her, everything’s black and white. If they’re the enemy, there’s no contact. No gifts. No visits. But I just… I wanted my little girl to have people who love her, even if they’re from *that* side of the family.
Now, Marina’s terrified of another outburst. The grandmother who once helped is now her worst enemy. Her mother demands she cuts ties completely. And Marina is stuck—torn between what’s *right* and what’s *necessary*.
— What am I supposed to do? Cut my daughter off from a grandmother who cares? But fighting with Mum isn’t an answer either. I’m already alone, with a toddler, no support. I’m *scared*. But I’m so tired of being caught between them. I just want my little girl to grow up in peace, not in some endless war between grown women.
