I was not invited to Helena’s wedding, although we communicated quite closely. I congratulated her about a month later, we agreed to meet in a cafe, there I gave her the equivalent of an envelope and a small homemade flower “family tree. Of course, asked to tell her how the wedding went, but then even regretted it. Almost the entire story of such a grand event was built on comments about the behavior of her husband’s sister’s children, whom she brought with her, although all the guests had been warned that the children should stay home.
For some reason Helena thought that children should not be present at such celebrations, as there are all sorts of nuances, adult contests, adult jokes, etc. The friend very carefully approached wedding planning, even prescribed the waiters whom to sit next to whom. Toastmasters program, of course, was also prescribed to the smallest detail. In these all the details, the children of those invited did not fit in at all.
It should be said that Helena’s husband’s sister is divorced and they got separated just a few months before the wedding. It must have been really hard for a mom with two kids to leave the preschoolers by themselves for long enough. Their grandmother, Helena’s mother-in-law, was at the top of the guest list, and hiring a nanny was both expensive and not very relaxing.
Helena had met with her future sister-in-law several times before the wedding, and convinced her that the question of children needed to be solved somehow. She didn’t say how, and she didn’t really bother, just showed up at the wedding with her tomboys, who, according to Helena, were pretty rowdy even during the ceremony itself, and put it to her: “Here are me and my kids!” Her mother-in-law, seeing that Helena was annoyed by this “team,” tried to smooth the edges, and quickly arranged with the manager of the restaurant for two extra seats.
Other guests added more oil to the fire, some casually, some quite straightforwardly asked the young wife: “And why can’t everyone come with children?” Of course, such questions and innuendos stumped Helena, and she had to do wonders of diplomacy and ingenuity to calm the guests’ indignation.
I think that Helena, for all her creativity, did not think to invite a children’s animator and organize a dessert buffet so that the children feel relaxed and do not disturb anyone.
If the bride organizes a wedding not only for herself but also for the people she loves, it is necessary to take into account their opinions and possibilities, or to sign two people and sit with a young husband in a restaurant so that no one disturbs them.
I did not comment on Helena’s indignation so as not to exacerbate our relationship, but she understood from my reaction that I did not really approve of her prejudice against the children at the wedding.
