**Diary Entry 5th October**
*”So, is a marriage certificate really stronger than just living together?”* The lads at work used to tease Nadine about it.
*”I wont go to the thirty-year reunionIll just end up depressed. Let the ones who go every year turn up; theyre used to seeing each others wrinkles.”* Nadine nearly shouted it down the phone at her old friend Margaret, the only one who still bothered to call.
*”Whats wrong with how you look now? Why are you so scared?”* Margaret sounded baffled. *”We met up five years ago, and you looked fine. Have you put on weight or something?”*
*”Thats not the pointI just dont want to go, Rita, drop it!”*
Nadine was ready to hang up, hoping Margaret would take the hint and move on down her list of old classmates to ring. But this time, her friend held on like a bulldog.
*”Nadine, our numbers are thinning as it is.”*
*”What, someones kicked the bucket?”* Nadine couldnt help but shudder. She might feel past her prime, but she wasnt *that* oldsurely their year hadnt started dropping yet.
*”No, nothing like that. A few have moved abroad. And you remember Andrew Bush? He passed years ago, barely twenty-fiveI told you he had a weak heart.”*
*”So stop making excuses. The whole years meeting upfour groups, but only thirty-odd people. Didnt you finally get your son married off? Perfect chance to let loose for once.”*
Margaret kept talking, but Nadines mind wandered back to Andrew. Hed always had dark circles under his eyes and a heavy stare, and the lads in their group had called him soft. Turned out he just had a weak heart. Hed studied hard, dreamed of building a grand suspension bridge in his hometown, but never got the chance.
And what had *she* done with her life?
Fallen for Ian, a foreman on the construction site shed joined after uni. He worked shifts in their town before heading back to his family. Theyd dated for yearsIan even called her his wife in front of everyone. Said a civil partnership was the *real* proof of love, that people stayed together not because of a marriage certificate but because they wanted to.
Then she found out she was pregnantjust as Ian vanished from his next shift. Turned out he had three kids and a sick wife. He quit without a word, leaving her to face the mess alone.
She couldnt demand anything from a man with three children and ailing wife. So she left the site before anyone noticed, though one of the lads couldnt resist a parting shot: *”So, a marriage certificate *is* stronger than just shacking up, eh?”*
She didnt care. She took a job at the corner shop, arranged by a neighbour from her block. Two days a week, even after the baby came. Her mother agreed to watch little Tommythough not without a lecture.
*”I raised you to have more sense!”*
*”Well, you raised me, didnt you?”* Nadine shot back, instantly regretting it.
They hugged and cried, but what was the point? Where else could she go?
So when Margaret rang five years later for the reunion, Nadine didnt bother. Theyd all be bragging about families and careers, flashing photos while she scrubbed floors in three different buildingsflats, the school, the nursery. What would she even say to them?
Or rather, what would they say to *her*?
Tommy was her only comfort.
Her mother washed her hands of babysitting once he started nursery, fleeing to her sisters village for *”fresh air.”* But life turned unexpectedlyNadine landed a part-time engineering role just as Tommy began school. She managed everything herself, even picking him up after lunch, earning jealous glances from other mums.
A colleague tried courting her once, but she shut it down. Tommy didnt need a stranger in his life pretending to be a father.
She proved herselfworked her way up, earned respect. But she still felt hollow. Dressed plainly, never dyed her hair, let the greys show after forty.
She didnt *deserve* happiness, not after getting involved with a married man. No bright clothes, no attentionwhat if someone noticed her again?
And love? Shed stopped believing in happy endings. Half her peers were divorced nowwhy would she be any better?
Yet Tommy grew up kind. Spent summers digging his grans vegetable patch in Yorkshire, chopping wood, stacking it neat. Even her mother admitted*”Youve got a good lad there.”*
So what use was a café reunion thirty years on?
All this flashed through her mind in seconds before Margarets voice snapped her back.
*”You listening? The café opposite the old halls, next Friday at three. Come on, give me someone to talk toIve no one else.”* Her voice cracked.
Nadine, without knowing why, said yes.
She regretted it the second she hung up. Stared in the mirror, picked up the phone to cancelbut Margarets line stayed busy.
By evening, she dug out the blue dress Tommy bought for his wedding. His wife Natasha had dragged her shopping, badgering her until they found *the* onesilk, knee-length, even Nadine had to admit it suited her. Theyd picked shoes, booked a salon, styled her hair.
That was a year ago. The greys were back nowwho was she dressing up for?
Still, she curled her hair, slipped into the dress, dabbed on lipstickthen wiped it off. Too bold.
The café was packed when she arrived. Margaret spotted her instantly. *”Nadine! You look *lovely*!”*
Margaret had softened with age, but it suited her. They chatted, got distracted, sipped drinks as old student tunes played.
Then a voice cut through the noise. *”May I have this dance?”*
She looked upAlex Searle, from the parallel group. Married in third year, a boy shed once fancied.
*”Nadine, youre *stunning*. First reunion Ive bothered withdont recognise a soul, except you.”*
He offered his hand. She took it, catching Margarets raised brows as they danced.
Three songs later, Alex spoke again. *”Walk you home? Im divorced, by the way. Unless youve got a husband waiting?”*
He walked her back. They met again the next day. And the next.
Natasha helped pick her wedding dress this timealready rounding with Nadines first grandchild.
*”Mrs. Hart,”* Natasha whispered as they shopped, *”youre *beautiful*. Were so happy for you. Youre allowed to be happy at any age, you know.”*
Sitting at the wedding breakfast, Nadine glanced at her new husband and thought*Maybe I am.*
Shed finally forgiven herself.
Funny, isnt it? How life circles back when you least expect it.
