Gran always was a bit of a character, but even so, her decision still surprises me. Shes just turned eighty, yet last week, she turfed out my older brother Thomas and his wife, sending them packing. Since then, shes barely spoken to anyone in the family. If I say Im going to pop round for a cup of tea, she briskly puts the phone down. She wont even open the front door, no matter whos knocking.
Thomas refuses to explain exactly why he was forced to rent a small flat at such short notice, but honestly, I wasnt shocked. Hes never been the most responsible, always expecting something for nothing and focused only on himself.
Almost as soon as Gran had the place to herself and there was extra room in her flat, the whole family called a council at Aunt Carols house. Gran herself, of course, didnt attend. There was just one pressing question: can she really manage alone at her age?
Aunt Sarah suggested her thirty-year-old daughter Emily could move in to look after Graneven though everyone knows Emilys pretty hopeless when it comes to taking care of anything, not least herself.
Aunt Liz, meanwhile, insisted Gran should downsize to a studio flat, supposedly to save on bills:
“Young people have moved in, after all! How can she afford the rent on a large flat on her own?”
Then my uncle Roger volunteered to have Gran come live with him, so that his son could take over her nice flat. On paper it sounded caring, but I could see straight through their supposed concern. Theyd all like the flat more than Grans company, thats for sure.
Im just worried about Mum. She ought to be looked after, and at my place, shell be in good hands! he said.
Rogers already had one of his sons live with Gran, and now he wants to try it with the other. My dad alone suggested leaving the decision to Granbut of course, that made everyone else irate.
Carol was the pushiest of the lot, so in the end everyone caved and offered her daughter Emily as Grans new helper. Emily started packing, blissfully picturing the changes shed make to the flat. Gran, of course, was told all this over the phone, but after a few seconds of listening silently, she hung up.
When Emily turned up with her suitcase and dreams of redecorating, Gran wouldnt open the door. She did, however, pop a jar of homemade chutney on the doorstep as a peace offering.
How can she possibly cope alone? Emily grumbled later. Shes moaning that in eighty years shes never lived for herself, and now all of a sudden she fancies independence! What if something happens to her? If she falls ill, wholl know? Loneliness at her age is dangerous!
Shes just being selfish! Shes always lived with her parents, with Granddad, with her children, her grandchildren, Thomas and his lot, the whole kit and caboodle. And now, at her age, she wants to be left in peace in a massive three-bedroomed flat? Its just not right! There are younger people who need somewhere to live!
Dad was the only one thinking straight. He didnt like the idea of moving Gran elsewhere and came up with his own fix. He reasonedquite rightlythat anything can happen at Grans age. Especially since Gran had changed all the locks after chucking out Thomas, so none of us even have keys anymore.
With Mums blessing, Dad quietly set up a camera in Grans hallway, so any concerned relative could check in to see for themselves that shes all right. Gran, not to be outdone, makes faces at the camera every time she walks by it.
She insists on paying her own bills, which arent much now shes on her own, and she refuses any help, so long as people just let her be. The rest of the family seem placated. In the end, a bit of modern technology was what finally kept Grans independenceand the rest of us at a safe distance.
You could say its all worked out, more or less. The only trouble is Gran still wont let anybody innot even for a quick cuppa. Yesterday I visited, and all I could do was collect a jar of raspberry jam from the landing. Shes still clearly afraid shell lose her freedom if anyone gets a foot in the door. I do wish shed relax a bit and let us in for a natter sometimes, but for now, at least shes happy her own way.
