Gran lived to be eighty. Just last week, she kicked my older brother and his wife out of her flat. Ever since that, shes barely spoken to anyone. If I let her know we plan to stop by, she simply hangs up the phone immediately. She doesnt even open the door for anyone these days.
My brother wont say a word about why he had to move into a rented bedsit, but honestly, it didnt surprise me much. Gran never had much patience for him, as he was always a bit careless and expected everything on a plate.
The moment Gran found herself living alone, suddenly there was talk among the relatives about what should happen next. Gran herself, of course, wanted no part of it. There was one looming issue: how would she get on, at her age, living by herself?
Dads sister, my Aunt Margaret, piped up with the idea that her daughter Charlottethirty, out of work, a bit careless herselfcould move in to look after Gran. It was hardly a secret that Charlotte wasn’t the most reliable or invested person.
Dads other sister suggested they move Gran into a tiny studio flat, making the case that itd save a bit of money. The youngsters have taken over the big flats. How can Gran possibly afford to pay for a place with so many rooms?
Uncle Peter even volunteered to take Gran into his own houseand, not coincidentally, let his son move into Gran’s flat. They said it was all about looking after Gran in her older years, and fair enough: being alone at eighty cant be easy. But it felt obvious all these plans had more to do with sorting out their own children than with Grans wishes.
I just worry about Mum, thats all, Uncle Peter said, grandly. Shed be so much better off in a proper family home!
But Gran had already let one of Peters sons stay with her beforeand now he wanted a go with the other! My dad alone thought Gran should be left to choose for herself, but the rest of the family ganged up on him for being unsupportive.
In the end, Margaret bulldozed everyone, and it was agreed Charlotte would get the job. She started packing her things right away, and Gran was told about it over the phone. Gran, not being daft, understood perfectly, and immediately hung up.
Charlotte turned up on Grans doorstep, already dreaming up what she would do to redecorate. But things didnt go to plan. Gran refused to even open the door. She did, however, leave a jar of homemade pickled onions outside for Charlotte to find.
How can she live all alone at her age? Charlotte complained, clearly annoyed. She says shes never really lived for herself before, and now, suddenly, she wants to? Who knows what could happen? What if she falls ill? She doesnt think, honestly! Not one bit of consideration! Shes always lived with familywhys she got to go all independent now, of all times, and in a flat with three entire rooms? Its outrageous! Time to make space for the next generation!
Only Dad seemed to have any sense about him. He didnt much like the idea of packing Gran off, but she couldnt just be left completely alone either, given her age. Even I could see the logicanything could happen at eighty. Nobody else even had a key; after throwing my brother out, Gran had the locks changed. At her age, every day might bring some surprise.
With Mums agreement, Dad set up a camera in Grans hallway. That way, any concerned relative could check in and see that she was alright, just going about her daily routines. Gran, meanwhile, had a wonderful time pulling faces for the camera whenever she noticed it.
She didnt want help with the bills, eithershe barely uses enough electricity or water to matter, living on her own. Any offer to help was rebuffed if it meant someone interfering. In the end, everyone was satisfiedor at least resigned. Technology, it seems, has saved Gran from a never-ending carousel of unwanted visitors.
So alls well that ends well, more or less. Gran still refuses to let anyone in, not even for so much as a cuppa. Just yesterday, I stopped by and had to collect a jar of her homemade jam off the hallway floor. I suppose she still worries she might lose her newfound freedom and independence. I only wish shed relax a bit, let us in, and enjoy a visit now and then.











