My grandmother devoted her whole life to my uncle, my mother’s brother. She did everything for his well-being. But my uncle decided to shift the care of my grandmother onto my mother in every way possible. My mother’s character is very weak, which the whole family takes advantage of throughout her life. Life was such that she needed help herself. And I do not agree that she was burdened with taking care of this elderly woman.
My grandmother had an obnoxious temper all her life. At least I remember her that way. She never said a kind word to us, and was always reproaching our parents. But she always praised my uncle’s daughter, my cousin, and worshipped their family.
My mother is five years older than my uncle. Mom, as the older sister by status, was always to blame for all my younger brother’s misdeeds.
My grandmother once helped her beloved son to buy an apartment. For this she even sold her dacha and gave him all her savings. In turn, she lectured my mother a lot of moral lessons. She kept repeating that any man is obliged to provide his family with decent housing. Her logic made no sense, since she herself had provided housing for her son and his whole family. He had no part in that.
My uncle’s daughter and I were in the same class. So my grandmother always knew about our school progress. If I got a “D” there was a lot of insults and indulgences about how I was going to be useless and would achieve nothing all my life. But when my sister brought a “D”, she was immediately reassured and encouraged, saying that she should be a great housewife, not a crammer.
What hurt the most in this situation was my mother. She silently tolerated all of her grandmother’s quirks, continuing to help her. As my dad and I did not try to talk sense into her, she continued to do things her own way.
Three years ago my mother had health problems and needed a very expensive operation. It was very difficult for us to find the necessary amount of money. Dad sold his car and even had to work around the clock.
As is customary in such cases, we asked for help from relatives – my uncle and grandmother. But they turned us down for lack of money. Although, as we learned later, they played an incredibly expensive wedding for my cousin, paid for it in full and gave a very valuable gift.
The fact that my cousin got married, and even in such a big way, we found out not even from them, but when we saw random photos on the network. We were not invited to the event, considering that at the moment we are not up to entertaining. My grandmother put her daughter’s life on the scales of the gift for the wedding of her beloved granddaughter. For me it was scary and not understandable.
Since there was no help to be expected from relatives, we had to cope on our own. It wasn’t easy for us, but we got through it.
My father had just died and my mother suffered a stroke as a result of that tragedy. It certainly affected her health in the worst possible way. I was married and pregnant at the time. But my mother needed help and we moved in with her for a while. After the birth of my granddaughter, my mother recovered a little.
My husband and mom got along great together, never had a fight. I was glad about that, because Mom shouldn’t have had to live alone now. Everything was fine until our favorite uncle showed up.
He told us not so pleasant news. It turns out that my grandmother had suffered a stroke and was ill and required round-the-clock care. And to take care of her, in his opinion, should my mother. He argued that she, as a daughter, has to take care of her elderly parents. And since she does not work, she can always be around. I was shocked at his insolence, but quickly came to my senses. I told him everything I thought. I remembered all their contemptuous attitude to our family.
But my uncle wouldn’t calm down, he called my mom, tried to pity her, asked for help. I advised my mother not to answer the phone. If he needed to, he would come and talk in person, and I would be able to stand up for my mom.
And so it happened. He came running to us and told us that my grandmother would be discharged in two days. He said she would be brought to us, and we had to get the place ready.
Before he could finish, I immediately interrupted him:
– No one is bringing anyone to our apartment. We don’t have a place, and Grandma can live in her apartment, and she has one.
He was outraged at this protest, he just didn’t expect women to be able to fight back. He shouted that we were not human beings and that the old woman could not live alone, without help.
– Of course she can’t live alone. But you owe her, so now you take care of her. And if you can’t take care of her, hire a nurse.
He resented my suggestion and said there was no money for a nurse.
I offered to sell my grandmother’s apartment and pay for her stay in a special boarding school. He twisted at what he heard. Selling the apartment was not part of his plans.
I was very adamant, and I would do anything to make sure they didn’t also pin a difficult bedridden grandmother on my mother. He scolded me, but left with nothing.
After our conversation my mother was in no mood for the rest of the evening. It was obvious that she was tormented by doubts about my actions. But I reassured her. We’re not leaving the old woman to her fate. And when her son understands that we can not blame everything on us, he can solve the problem himself.
I haven’t heard from my uncle until today. Who knows, maybe he’s plotting another set-up for us, or maybe he’s resigned himself to the circumstances.
