Go Away and Never Come Back
“Go away, do you hear me?” I whispered through tears. “Go, and don’t ever come back. Never again.”
With trembling hands, I unlatched the heavy metal lead, dragged Bella towards the garden gate, flung it open wide, and tried to nudge her out onto the lane.
But she didnt understand what was happening.
Was she really being sent away? Why? She hadnt done anything wrong
“Please, just go,” I repeated, hugging her tightly. “You can’t stay here. He’ll be back any minute and…”
At that moment, the front door banged open and my dad, Frank, stumbled out onto the porch, axe in hand, drunk as ever.
*****
If only people could imagine, even for a moment, just how hard life can be for dogs forced onto the streets, perhaps theyd look at them with more pity, not with anger and disgust. But how could anyone know what trials our four-legged friends have to endure? Dogs cant explain or complain. They carry all their pain inside.
Still, Ill tell you this storya story of love, betrayal, and loyalty.
And Ill begin with Bella, who’d been unwanted since she was a mere pup.
Why her first owner hadnt taken to her, Ill never know. Maybe just by being born she was an inconvenience. Either way, the owner decided to get rid of her. He drove the two-month-old puppy out to the edge of the next village and justleft her by the roadside.
Yes, he just left her.
He didnt even take the trouble to drive into the village where surely someone might have taken her in. No, he simply abandoned her by a busy road, then returned to his city life with a clear conscience.
Cars, lorries, busesall sped by at a terrifying pace. One wrong step and she could easily have been hit. I suppose that’s what her owner had counted on.
Even if she didnt get run over, shed never last long without food or water. She was so tiny.
But luck was with her that day.
That was the day I came cycling along.
It was my birthdaymy fourteenth. Dad had bought me a brand-new bike, and I was off to try it out.
“Dont leave the village, Edward!” Mum called as I hopped onto my iron horse and pedalled off, brimming with excitement. “Do you hear me, son?”
“Alright, Mum,” I shouted back, grinning. “I promise!”
But of course, I left the village. The roads in the village hadnt seen a repair in yearspotholes everywhere. It wasnt just bad for cycling; it was dangerous to even walk there at night.
But a month earlier, the council had laid fresh tarmac all the way from the village to the town road, and I longed to speed along it. Especially since hardly any traffic came by on weekends.
So, when I was nearly at the main road and about to turn back, thats when I spotted the puppy on the verge, darting back and forth, totally frantic. She lunged at one car, then leapt out of the way at the last second. It was painful to watch.
“Whats got into her? And whys she here?” I wondered, jumping off my bike.
I gently set the bike down on the grass and hurried over.
*****
“Mum! Dad! Look who I found!” I beamed as I came into the house. “Someone chucked her out by the road. Can we please keep her? Shes lovely.”
“Edward, did you leave the village?” Mum scolded. “I told you”
“Mum, I only went as far as the main road and then turned right back,” I admitted, dropping my gaze. “And lookit was worth it. If I hadnt picked her up, shed have died out there.”
“And you?” Mum sighed. “Didnt you think about yourself, son? You could have been hit. Its dangerous for kids to play by roads, especially by bike.”
“I wont do it again, I promise. But what about the puppy? Please, Mum, Ill look after her. Ive always wanted a dogand its my birthday!”
“Birthday, he says,” Mum shook her head. “Honestly, you need a good telling-off for not listening.”
I hugged the little pup tighter, afraid theyd take her away.
“Oh, let him be, Emma. Hes fourteen todaypractically grown,” Dad chimed in, half-tipsy, in a good mood. “Think what we got up to at his age. Its a good dog, not a mongrel. Shell guard the house. Let him keep the dogIve no objections.”
“If your dad doesnt mind, then neither do I,” Mum smiled at me.
“Thank you! Youre the best parents ever!”
I was over the moon when they agreed.
I named her Bella that very day.
At first, I assumed the pup was a boy, but quickly realised she was a gentle-natured girl. We clicked right awayshe was sweet and affectionate. Pretty soon, the bicycle Id wanted so badly was forgotten; I spent all my days with my new furry friend.
Everything seemed perfect. Bella was saved from certain death. I finally had the dog Id always dreamed of, and my parents were happy too. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, trouble still found ussix months later.
It began when Dad, Frank, lost his job and turned to the bottle.
He started drinking heavily, burning through the money he and Mum had saved for hard times.
Nothing Mum, Emma, saidbe it pleading or yellingmade a difference. If anything, it made things worse.
He became irritablevodka turned him cold, harsh, and angry with everyone. Sometimes hed even lash out at Mum, for the smallest grievance, or none at all.
No food in the fridge, a leaky roof, cigarettes and drink costing moreit was always Mums fault.
There was no point explaining. Hed shout, “Me?! Im to blame?” when it was obviously himself.
He didnt have to drink. He could have looked for another job, even in the city, driving or loading lorries. But he wouldnt budge.
By then, the village farm where hed been a tractor driver for over twenty years had closed. There were no decent jobs left, just bits and bobs that paid a pittance.
“Emma! Emma, wheres you hidden my vodka?!” hed bellow every morning, hungover.
Every attempt Mum made to curb his drinking ended badly for her. Answer him back, and thered be a row, sometimes even blows. Frank was a brute by then.
Mum forbade me from getting involved. She didnt want me to get a beating too.
So Id retreat to the garden, stroking Bellas head, staring toward the house as my parents rowed inside.
Bella would lick my salty cheeks, trying to comfort me as best she could.
Once, I even caught the brunt myself. Mum had gone shopping, I was playing with Bella, nothing more. Dad spotted us, called me over, grabbed my arm, and cuffed me hard behind the head. Then again, and again.
At first, I stood it, but finally yelped in pain and tried to break free. But his grip was like a vice.
Then something amazing happenedgentle Bella, always so sweet, suddenly let out a furious bark at Dad. She barked so fiercely he actually reeled back in surprise.
I used that moment to slip free. But I knew Dad would be backand with something heavy. This wasnt over.
What was I to do?
“Go! Do you hear me?” I whispered, voice quivering. “Go, and dont ever come back. Ever.”
With shaking hands, I took off her chain, dragged Bella to the gate, flung it open and pushed her onto the lane.
She still didnt understand. Why send her away? What had she done wrong?
“Please,” I hugged her tightly. “You cant stay here. Hes coming back and”
At that moment, the front door flew open and my drunken father blundered onto the porch, brandishing an axe.
“Ed! Why did you let the dog go? Who told you to?” he roared.
“Dad, please” I said, stepping back instinctively, terrified. If Im honest, I wanted to run with Bella, but… I couldnt leave Mum alone with him.
He staggered closer, the axe shining in the weak sun. “Dont touch the dog, Dad, please. Go sleep it off. You dont even look human anymore”
“Oh, now youre telling me what to do? That mutt dared to bark at meI fed her, watered her, and she repays me like that? Ill deal with her now, and then Ill see to youhow dare a boy talk back to his father! Lost all respect, have you? Ill teach you!”
He stumbled forward, nearly fell, but gripped the post, then hurried down the steps.
“Bring her here!”
“Frank, please, no!” Mum cried, returning with the shopping. “Shes only little! Youll kill her”
“Dont beg,” Frank growled. “That mongrel needs to remember whos boss here! Ed, I said bring her here!”
I had no choice.
Looking Bella in the eyes, I kissed her damp black nose, pushed her towards the lane, and shouted, “Go! Go, now! Forgive me, Bella, please. I never wanted it to end this way.”
When Dad realised what was going on, he flew into a rage. Bella took one last look at me and bolted for the woods.
“Dont come back, Bella, or hell kill you!” I yelled after her.
I never saw what happened next.
I just prayed, as she vanished, that she and Mum would be alright.
*****
Years passedno, not just monthsa full seven years since that day. Seven long years while Bella waited, hoping for a miracle, desperate for a reunion.
But hope faded as the years dragged on, especially since Id long left the village with Mum. Bella returned once, six months after escaping, but only found a burnt wreck of a house, nobody around. No me, no Mum, not even Frank whom she hardly missed.
She visited a few more times, but never found any sign of us. Still, deep down, she didnt sense that anything bad had happened. She probably guessed wed just left for good. After all, when your home burns down, where is there to go back to?
So, for over a year, Bella wandered from one village to another, never settling. Finally, an old man picked her up near the spot where Id found her all those years before.
It was like déjà vu.
“Lost, are you?” chuckled the man, grey and bearded. “Fancy living with me?”
Bella didnt have a choice. She went with him.
The old chap, as it turned out, was fond of his drink but a kind soul. He always had something for her to eatbroth, porridge, big buttery bones. He never skimped, even if it meant spending his last pound.
He even took her to work with him.
He was the night watchman and caretakerat the village cemetery.
At first, Bella felt uneasy walking among graves at night, but eventually she grew used to it. And she grew to like the old man, Mr. Wilfred. He was lonely, and miserable, rather like herself.
When he drank, he was never violent like Frank. Instead, hed sigh heavily and tell Bella his sorrowshow his wife left him, how his own daughter wouldnt speak to him because she considered her father a failure.
Bella would curl up by his side, nuzzle her nose against his leg and listenshe understood how important it was for someone to have a friend, even a silent one.
But those quiet times made her think of happier daysMum, and me. Frank shed rather forget forever.
It was on one of her lonely night-time rambles that she found Franks grave.
At first, she couldnt believe itafter all these years, she caught his familiar scent, mixed with the old fumes of drink and bitterness.
“Whyve you stopped?” Mr. Wilfred asked, seeing Bella standing by a headstone. “Lets seeFrank Harris Ah, must be the chap who died in his own house fire.”
Bella stared up, startled.
“Yes, him,” Wilfred nodded. “His wife and son moved to the city, thank goodness. This one drank himself silly and burned the place down. Silly way to go. Folks used to say he was a real brute to his family. Maybe got what was coming to him. But thenshouldnt speak ill of the dead. Come on, let’s go. May he rest in peace.”
Bella spent nearly five years with Mr. Wilfred. Then, one winter, he too passed away. She was alone again, older nowtoo old to be adopted.
So she stayed on at the graveyard. There was always a little food to find. This was where Bella decided shed live out her days. She didnt need another ownerMr. Wilfred had really just been a friend sharing her loneliness, not her master.
And then, as the first snow fell, something happened that Bella had never dared hope for.
As she was sniffing about for scraps, Bella heard voicesrare on weekends in the cemeterya man and a woman, standing by Franks grave.
How odd, she thought.
“I told you, Sarah,” the man said, “coming here to visit Dads grave was a mistake. I have nothing to say to him after everything he did, and you want me to forgive him? For whatsending Mum to an early grave?”
“You need to, Eddie. Forgive and let go. How long will the nightmares keep tormenting you? Im sure when you do, things will improve. Whatever kind of man he was, he was still your father. If he haunts your dreams, then maybe hes suffering too.”
“And how would you know?”
“My nan always said so. Forgive, and therell be peace for you both.”
“Alrightmaybe you’re right.”
He looked at the gravestone, frowned, then relaxed. “I forgive you, Dad. For myself, for Mumand for Bella. Shame you made me send away my best friend. I hope shes alright somewhere.”
All the while, Bella had been standing quietly behind him, scarcely daring to trust her eyes.
It was him! My Bella recognised me, even after all these yearsI was grown, but still her Edward.
Would I recognise her?
Something must have told me to turn around. I froze.
“Eddie, what is it?” Sarah asked. “You look like youve seen a ghost.”
“Not a ghosta dog” I said slowly.
“Its just a cemetery dog. Dont tell me youre frightened?”
“II think I know her. Waitit cant be”
I took a step closer. She was older and greyer, butshe wagged her tail, took a few steps to meet me, then bolted into my arms.
Sarah barely reacted as I knelt down, hugging the dog I hadnt seen in seven years, while Bella pawed at my chest and licked my face in joy.
Her lifelong wish had come truewe were reunited at last.
*****
Of course, I brought Bella home. She got on with Sarah without any trouble.
We made a little familyfirst the three of us, then four (when Bella found a stray kitten and we all adopted it together), then fivewhen a baby boy, Charlie, joined our little flat.
After a few years, I rebuilt the old house in the village, and every summer wed holiday there as a family.
No matter what wed sufferedBella and I, and even Mumwe were happy in the end.
