FROM LOVE TO HATE IS JUST A STEP
Id despised Lucy Crowther since our very first year at primary school, all because shed always been painfully thin. That scrawny little devil was, of course, my best friend.
Back in Year Nine, Nick Barnes a persistent underachiever, and held back a year invented silly nicknames for us. He started calling Lucy Mrs. Margaret. Every time she came into the classroom, Nick put his hands together as though warming them in a fur muff and would chirp out cheerily,
Five minutes, five minutes! Is it a lot or a little?
Lucys face would light up with a smug smile. Shed strut down the row between the desks, swinging her bony hips in exaggerated fashion.
I, on the other hand, tried to sneak into class late after the bell rang, walking on bent knees hoping to slip by unnoticed. I didnt always succeed. When I failed, that idiot towering over everyone would bellow,
Good mooorning, Miss Lydia George! Oh, listen everyone:
And then hed launch into his favourite tune, wailing,
From far away runs the River Thames
My cheeks burned with shame. Tears stung my eyes and spilled down onto my chest, which was embarrassingly large for my age and shape.
Lucy would stand up for me. Shed hurl textbooks at Nick, calling him a fool, and then laugh in that bold, carefree way only confident women laugh. Everyone at school knew Nick and Lucy were in love with each other. Nobody could figure out why little lamb Lucy Crowther was friends with cow Lydia Saunders. Saunders thats me.
And, to be honest, I couldnt understand why Lucy was friends with me either. Shed get exasperated and, when explaining herself, would sometimes shout,
Oh, youre a proper idiot, Saunders! You ace every subject under the sun, but you dont even know that people arent friends because of their looks or figure! Youre a good person, Lydia! Whats wrong with you? Not everyones meant to be skinny! Have you seen how many famous people are plump? And everyone loves them!
But I didnt care about famous people. In fact, I didnt care about anyone but Barnes. And Barnes only cared about Lucy. I saw the way he looked at her. He always turned away from meexactly the way people do when they pass a beggar and have no change, but cant bear to part with a note. That was precisely how he treated me. Either mocked me, or ignored me altogether.
Before Christmas, I begged my parents to move me to another school. Mum wrote up the forms and picked up my files from admin. After the holidays, a new chapter of my life was waiting. Only Lucy remained from the old one.
She was absolutely furious with me and stormed off, calling me a traitor and slamming the door for good measure. But she soon changed her mind. She turned right back around and began ringing the doorbell for ages.
I flung the door wide open, grinning with delight. Thenfroze. Nick Barnes stood there on the step, angry, with his coat undone, no hat, and snow clinging to him:
Whats wrong with you, Saunders? Whats this about switching schools halfway through the year? GCSEs in five months, and youre running away? Im asking you, Saunders!
I heard the words, but they barely registered. I think I actually understood everything, but I only wanted to remember one magical thing: Nick Barnes yes, Nick himself standing on the threshold of our flat. He looked so handsome, honestly. Rosy cheeks from the cold, eyes shining. Something about that moment gave me sudden courage, so I snapped back,
What, scared you wont find another gullible idiot to pick on?
What did you say? There isnt anyone else, Saunders. Theres only one idiot like you in the whole world! Nick growled, then grabbed my hand, pulled me out into the stairwell and locked me in his arms.
No, locked isnt the right word. Thats not how people hug. Hugs are gentle; there was no gentleness in what Nick did. It was pure desperation as if I was being taken from him and he wasnt going to allow it. One enormous hand pressed my head to his chest, scratchy wool jumper against my cheek, the other arm pinned me in place. I was trapped. Only I wasnt afraid. In fact, I felt wonderful the sort of wonderful you only get in dreams, or hopes. But how did he know my hopes? Maybe he just wanted to mock me again? Surely hed never guess. Or did he?
That thought terrified me and I suddenly burst into tears. I sobbed helplessly for what felt like forever. Finally, when Id run out of tears, I began to calm down. I gave a couple of little hiccupping sobs before I realised what was happening Nick was actually hugging me softly now, rocking me like a child:
Cry if you need to, Lydia. When you feel like it, you should cry. My mum always says that. And she also calls me a fool. Says that if you like someone, you should just be honest and tell them straight out. So, Im here to say Im an idiot. Lydia, I like you, you hear me?
And alsoIm shy around you. Youre top of the class, youll get into medical school; and me? Lucky if I scrape into engineering college.
And what if your parents dont let you see someone like me? What sort of boyfriend would I make? But Im not as dense as people think I just dont care about all that maths and science nonsense. I love engines and cars andwell, I love you.
And what about Crowther? I whispered.
What about her? In a couple years, shell be a bridesmaid at our wedding! Right then, I looked up, straight into my tormentors eyes, and whispered,
I hate you
Thats good. Its a fine line between love and hate youll start loving me! replied my future husband, grinning.
Thirty years have gone by.
We never celebrate the anniversary of our wedding. Instead, we celebrate the day our family began today is our thirtieth time. At first, it was just the two of us. Later, it was the three of us, once our daughter was born. Four years later, we were four with our son as well.
This evening, well all gather again: just the closest family. Our sons bringing his girlfriend. My beloved friend Lucys coming with her husband and son. But our daughter wont be at the table shes busy with something rather important. She spent last night finishing off our gift. This morning, she gave birth to a baby girl Lucy Crowther. She made Lucy and me grandmothers at last.
