In our family, four generations of men have worked on the railways! And what have you brought?
Alice, whispered Anna, gently stroking her bump. Well call her Alice.
Another girl? Is this some kind of joke? Margaret threw the ultrasound printout down on the table. Four generations of proud railway men, and you bring home… this?
Alice, Anna repeated softly, her hand never leaving her stomach. Were going to name her Alice.
Margaret sighed. Well, at least the name is decent. But honestly, what good will she do? Whos going to want your Alice?
James sat in silence, scrolling endlessly on his phone. When his wife asked his opinion, he only shrugged.
It is what it is. Maybe next time well have a boy.
Anna felt something twist painfully inside her. Next time? And what about this little one, just a warm-up?
Alice was born in Januarya tiny thing with huge eyes and a mess of dark hair. James showed up just for discharge day, presenting a bunch of carnations and a bag of baby things.
Shes cute, he said, peering carefully into the pram. Looks like you.
With your nose, Anna smiled. And stubborn chin.
Oh please, James dismissed, All babies look the same at this age.
At home, Margaret met them with a sour face.
Valerie from next door asked if it was a grandson or granddaughter. Embarrassing to say, really, she grumbled. At my age, playing with dolls again…
Anna shut herself away in the nursery, silently crying as she cuddled her daughter.
James started working longer hours. He picked up odd jobs on neighbouring tracks, took additional shifts. Families are dear to keep, especially with a baby, he kept saying. Hed come home late, worn out and mostly silent.
She waits for you, Anna would say when he hurried past the nursery, not peeking in. Alice always lights up when she hears your footsteps.
Im exhausted, Anna. Im up early again tomorrow.
But you didnt even say hello to her
Shes little. She wont know.
But Alice did know. Anna saw her daughter turn her head to the door at the sound of her fathers steps and then stare into nothing for ages after he had walked away.
When Alice was eight months old, she fell ill. First, her temperature rose to 38, then 39. Anna called NHS 111, but the doctor said to keep up the paracetamol at home for now. At dawn, her temperature hit 40.
James, get up! Anna shook her husband awake. Alice is really not well!
What time is it? James cracked one eye open.
Seven. I havent slept all night. We need to take her to hospital!
Is it not too early? Maybe wait until evening? Ive got a big shift today…
Anna looked at him as though he were a stranger.
Your daughter is burning with fever, and youre thinking about your shift?
Shes not dying! Kids get ill all the time.
Anna called for a taxi herself.
At the hospital, doctors admitted Alice straight away to the childrens ward. They suspected a nasty infectionshed need a lumbar puncture.
Where is the childs father? asked the consultant. We need both parents consent for the procedure.
Hes at work. Hell be here soon.
Anna tried calling James all day. His phone was off. At seven in the evening, he finally picked up.
Anna, Im at the depot, theres loads going on
James, its Alice. Shes got suspected meningitis! They need your consent for the procedure! The doctors are waiting!
What? What procedure? I dont understand
Just come! Right now!
I cant. Im on shift til eleven. Then meeting the lads after…
Anna hung up.
She signed the consent herselfas Alices mother, the hospital allowed it. The lumbar puncture was done under general anaesthetic. Alice looked so tiny on that enormous operating trolley.
Well have results by tomorrow, the doctor told her. If meningitis is confirmed, shell need a long coursesix weeks or more in hospital.
Anna spent the night at Alices side. Her daughter lay attached to the drip, pale and still, her chest lifting and falling almost imperceptibly.
James appeared at lunchtime the next day. Unshaven, rumpled.
So how is she? he asked, hesitantly hovering outside the ward.
Shes not well, Anna replied. Were still waiting for results.
What did they do to her? That thing
The lumbar puncture. They took spinal fluid for testing.
James turned pale.
Did it hurt her?
She was under anaesthetic. She didnt feel it.
He stepped closer to the cot, pausing. Alice slept on, one tiny hand resting on the blanket, her wrist taped to a cannula.
Shes so little, he murmured. I didnt realise…
Anna said nothing.
The results came back wellno meningitis, thank goodness. Just a severe viral infection with some complications. She could be treated at home under the GPs care.
Lucky, the consultant remarked. A day or twos delay, and things wouldve been much worse.
During the drive home, James was silent. Only as they parked did he finally ask, in a quiet voice,
Am I am I really that bad? As a dad?
Anna settled their sleeping daughter more comfortably and looked at him.
What do you think?
I kept telling myself theres plenty of time. Shes small, she doesnt know. And then When I saw her with all those tubes… I realised I could lose her. And Id lose so much.
James, she needs a father. Not just a provider, not just someone who brings in money. A father. Someone who knows her name, who can tell you her favourite toys.
What are her favourite toys? He asked softly.
The rubber hedgehog and that rattle with bells. Whenever you come in, she crawls to the door. She waits for you to pick her up.
James bowed his head.
I didnt know.
Well. Now you do.
At home, Alice awoke and whimpered softly. James instinctively reached for her, then paused.
May I? he asked Anna.
Shes your daughter.
Gently, he picked Alice up. The little girl hiccuped and quietened, wide serious eyes studying her dads face.
Hello, sweetheart, James whispered. Im sorry I wasnt there when you needed me most.
Alice reached up and touched his cheek. James felt a lump in his throat, unfamiliar and raw.
Daddy, Alice said suddenly, clear as anything.
Her very first word.
James looked at Anna, eyes wide in disbelief.
She she said
Shes been saying it all week, Anna smiled. But only when you werent home. I suppose she was waiting for the right moment.
That evening, with Alice asleep in his arms, James carefully laid her in her cot. The girl didnt stir, only gripped his finger tighter in her sleep.
She doesnt want to let go, James marvelled.
Shes scared youll disappear again, Anna explained.
He sat by the cot for half an hour, unable to pull his finger free.
Ill take the day off tomorrow, he told Anna quietly. And the day after, too. I want I need to get to know my daughter.
What about work? The extra shifts?
Well manage. Or live a bit more simply. What matters is not missing these moments as she grows.
Anna came over and hugged him.
Better late than never.
Id never have forgiven myself, James whispered, gazing at sleeping Alice, if anything happened and I hadnt even known her favourite toys. Or that she could say daddy.
A week later, when Alice had made a full recovery, the three of them strolled through the local park. Alice sat on her dads shoulders, giggling as she tried to grab the golden autumn leaves above her.
Look, Alice! Arent those maple trees stunning? James pointed out the bright yellow leaves. And over there, looka squirrel!
Anna walked beside them, thinking how sometimes you have to come close to losing whats most precious before realising its true worth.
Back at home, Margaret met them at the door, face as disapproving as ever.
James, Valerie was saying her grandsons already playing football. And yours… only plays with dolls.
My daughter is the best in the world, James replied calmly, sitting Alice on the floor and handing her the rubber hedgehog. And dolls are wonderful.
But the family line
It wont end. Itll carry on. Differently, but it will.
Margaret opened her mouth to object, but just then, Alice crawled over and reached out her arms.
Nana! the girl said, beaming.
Surprised, Margaret scooped her up.
She she talks! she gasped.
Our Alice is very clever, James said proudly. Isnt that right, sweetheart?
Daddy! Alice shouted with delight, clapping her hands.
Watching them, Anna realised that happiness sometimes grows from trials. And that the deepest love is rarely instantit takes time. Its forged slowly through fear and the pain of nearly losing what matters most.
That night, as James settled Alice to sleep, he sang her a lullaby. His voice was gentle, a little rough, but Alice listened with wide, shining eyes.
Youve never sung to her before, Anna observed softly.
Theres a lot I havent done, James admitted. But Ive got time to make up for it now.
Alice drifted off, clutching at Jamess finger, and again he didnt pull awayhe just sat there in the quiet, listening to his daughter breathe, realising how much you risk missing if you never pause to notice what truly matters.
And Alice slept on, smiling in her dreamscertain now that her dad isnt going anywhere.
This story was sent in by one of our readers. Sometimes, fate requires not just a choice but a real trial to awaken the brightest feelings in a person. Do you believe someone can truly change, once they see how close theyve come to losing what matters most?












