Id finally found a reason to propose. A Tale
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“Wasnt your daughter hoping for a pedigree pup?” a neighbour, Mr Ernest, inquired of Mrs Agnes one blustery afternoon.
“She was, but spare moneys hard to come by, what with it being just the two of us,” Agnes replied. But Ernest only grinned wider”No need for money, Ill give you one for nothing. Come round with me.”
Oddly enough, Lucy had already come home from school and overheard. At once she latched onto it
“Mum, lets go! Its free! I promise Ill walk it and Ill get all gold stars, truly, Mum!”
“Oh, Ernest, what are you playing atgetting her hopes up and leaving me to pick up the mess,” huffed Mrs Agnes Grimshaw.
“You might take a better look at me one of these days before you get cross. Im a good bloke, reliable, always work hard. All the right stuff, just a bit lonely, thats all!” he said, eyes hopeful.
“Dont be daft, Ernest, what do I need to look at you for? Ive known you all my lifeI was leaving school when you were still in shorts in year two. Come off it,” Agnes retorted, her indignation growing.
“Well, never mind that, were about even now, seeyou barely come up to my shoulder, and Im stronger,” said Ernie, as he gently gathered Agnes in his arms.
“See, Lucy, how much taller and mightier I am than your mum!”
“Not much in brains, thoughsnuggling me right in front of my daughter,” Agnes squirmed away, though not very convincingly.
“Exactly! Thats why I need yousomeone clever. Im fed up rattling about alone,” Ernest replied, a touch forlorn.
“Oh, stopyoure taking me to this dog or not?” Lucy pleaded in her best wobbly voice.
“Theres the thingwhere else dyou get one like this? Hes adorable, covered in spots. And what a tale it is, you must see for yourself.” Ernests voice went all mysterious, and Lucy clung to her mothers hand,
“Come on muuum, you promised!”
One look at Agnes’s torn expression was enoughErnest bustled, “Shall I fetch the car? Wont take but a jiffy, I promise!”
Agnes shot her neighbour a sideways glance, but sighed, turning to Lucy, “Alright. They say its a small thing, but if you start failing your lessons”
All the journey Lucy chattered: “Is the dog bouncy? Whats it called? Uncle Ernie, are we there yet?”
At last, they drew up outside an old, tumbledown cottage.
“Belonged to my late motherused to let it out, but it went badly. Sorry its filthyI only found out yesterday when I went by for the rent”
Inside, the chaos was astonishing.
Amidst spilled rice, empty biscuit tins and battered, smelly cans, a grey tabby with golden eyes sat pressed close beside a shaggy little dog.
Filthy, wild-haired, yetas theyd later learnnot yet broken by the tragedy their previous owners had served them.
“Look at them,” Ernest started, his voice both jittery and relieved, “Id not been round in a monthwent for the rent, found all this!”
Neighbours had told him two young women whod rented from him had scarpered weeks ago, rent unpaid.
Theyd simply tossed aside the cat and the dog, unwanted.
So the creatures waited out their fate, locked in together, longing for rescue.
No food, no water, just themselves against the world, shut away.
“Howd they survive?” Lucy whispered, aghast.
The signs of their desperate fight were strewn all about. The dog and cat had scavenged and devoured everythingbiscuits and sweets went first, then dried pasta, even porridge oats. Theyd somehow prised open a tin of corned beef and sucked on tubes of sweetened condensed milk, all left behind by the runaways. Everything edible was gone!
To see them at workyoud have laughed and wept.
But most astonishing of all, was the water.
The cat, it appeared, had learnt to twist the cold tap in the bath, or perhaps it was a miracle accident. Lucky it hadnt gone full tilt or the flat below would have become an impromptu swimming pool. Though perhaps then, theyd have been rescued much sooner
Ernest had known whom to callLucy at once hugged the dog and cat and fed them the tins of pet food hed brought along.
Even Agnes found her eyes prickling with sympathy.
“I knew itI wasnt wrong about you, Agnes. Youre a good woman,” Ernest told her quietly as Lucy stroked their now contented, round-bellied cat and dog, “Soshall we take them both home? And marry me, Agnes? Its only ever been youI never met a woman like you. Say yes, and well be the happiest in all of England! Ive a car, a pair of flatsLucyll have her own place when shes off and married one day. Well let out the otherthough well need better tenants next time. Will you? We could even have our own little onesand what a warm home wed have! Weve a cat and a dog for a start, just like a proper familysay yes, Agnes!”
“Say yes, Mum!” Lucy piped, not quite following Uncle Ernies meaning, but catching the mood.
Ernest only chuckled,
“See? Everyones keen. Come on, Agnes, make up your mind!”
“Oh, Ernie, are you serious? You must be joking!” Agnes flushed, confused and oddly delighted.
Truth was, her neighbour was a handsome soul, and gentle. He hadnt dumped the animalshed brought them back from the brink.
Truth be told, it had never really crossed Agness mind shed be proposed to. Imagining itespecially with Ernest wrapping his arms around her againshe felt her heart skip anxiously, joyfully.
“Give me a moment, if youre not jokingyou silver-tongued rogue!” she finally managed, cheeks burning.
“Take all the time you likewere not shy folk around here,” Ernest beamed. “Ill take the cat for now, you two, the dog, as you fancied. Tomorrow me and Tibbles will come by for your answer. Mind you dont wear Barney out, Mrs G,” he winked at the dog, who barked approvingly.
Ernest did indeed win Miss Agness hand
Within a month, the whole terrace turned out for their wedding.
Preparations were at Agness flat, but the reception sprawled out across Ernests, where there was enough room for a proper knees-up.
Tibbles the cat and Barney the dog never strayed from their new owners sidescreatures always know whos kind and worth sticking close to.
A year later, Agnes and Ernie welcomed not one, but two babiesa bouncing pairSophie and Harry.
Tibbles and Barney now had proper jobs, ever watchful over the children. In a big, raucous home, theres a place for everyone.
And best of all, in a bustling English family, happiness is in abundance.
Its joy for the children and for the animals too
Especially when theres a cat and a proper English dog about the house!
