All of my friends have mums who happily look after their grandchildren without a second thought. For my mum, though, looking after her granddaughter seems impossible. She repeats herself constantly: Shes your childI raised mine already. My daughter, Emily, is five years old and attends nursery. Two years ago, after my maternity leave ended, I had to go back to work. I teach infants, which means getting days off isnt easy. In moments like these, it would be so helpful to have my mother nearby.
I do get quite a bit of free time, especially in winter when we arent visiting our holiday cottage. My mum is at home all day; she doesnt do much besides watching TV and chatting to her friends on the phone. She has no other real commitments. Last week, we visited the optician and found out that Emily has vision problems. I rang my mum and explained wed need to take Emily to the clinic for ten days. Wed pick her up from nursery around 1pm and take her to the clinic each morning. Everything is close byEmily’s nursery, the clinic, and my mums house.
Emily is a well-behaved little girl, and my mum knows that. She isnt grumpy, doesnt make a racket, doesnt make a mess, and eats whatever shes given. Even so, my mother seems to have a real aversion to helping out. One day, both my husband and I had to go to work and we really needed my mums help.
It would make all the difference if my mum could come for a few days, but she wont. Thankfully, we have family nearby we can rely on in a pinch. My grandmother lives next door and isnt busy these days, so it would make sense for her to look after Emily while were at work. We wouldnt need to spend any extra money since shes so close by, and my husband and I wouldnt have to worry.
Since my mum retired, Ive been supporting her financially. I give her money regularly and pay her rent in full twice a month. When my husband and I go shopping, we take her with us and she pays for everything herself. For every holiday, I buy my mum lovely, expensive gifts. Yet she seems to take all this for granted. She expects, because Im her daughter, that its my duty to bring her food and cover her expenses. But I honestly cant make sense of that! My daughter is my responsibility, not just a task I want to offload.
It seems grandmothers arent obliged at all to help their children, and yet many do. Is this really fair? It hurtsI go out of my way for my mum, and she doesnt seem to appreciate it at all.
