Once a woman fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. On the first day, her sons and husband decided to visit her. Of course, the boys did not come with the right hands. They brought a whole bag of fish tails. The woman was shocked by such a hospitality and expressed her dissatisfaction with her relatives. She said that it is not appropriate for her to bring such pitiful remains when she is still sick. The man and the children sincerely didn’t understand her oblation, because they thought it was a very good idea. They explained why they did so. It turns out that for many years the woman had been giving everything to the boys, and kept only a few tiny things for herself. So they decided that she loved them the most. And then it came to the woman. She realized that she had devoted her whole life to her family and deprived herself of the best for them.
But what could she do? That’s how she was raised. And many people are still raised that way. They are taught from childhood to sacrifice themselves and give all the best to their relatives and friends, and to get ahead themselves. This is how these people live their lives and do not even suspect that these behaviors have already become the norm, and others perceive it as a conscious choice.
All the houses very quickly get used to the fact that you don’t need much and start to use it a lot. And why not? If a person voluntarily refuses all the blags and takes the best one, why should we dissuade him from it? It is his choice, so be it. And such “victims” sometimes fail to understand or recognize that they are being used. And they have never heard of healthy egoism.
Yes, generosity is a good trait that parents must teach their children. We must be able to share with our loved ones and take care of their comfort. But this should be balanced with self-love and the ability to express and fulfill wishes. Learn to build some boundaries and let others understand that you demand respect for yourself and will not allow them to give you these miserable leftovers, because you deserve better. Just start thinking about yourself. Better yet, if you can find someone with whom you can mutually take care of each other and get the best out of life for the two of you and eventually for your family.
Do you put your wishes first or do you put the comfort of your loved ones first?
