Let your wife stay at the country cottage for now, the commanding voice of my motherinlaw bellowed from the kitchen. A friend of mine and her daughter are arriving. Theyll be here for about a week, perhaps longer, to keep us company.
I glanced at my husband, who seemed as stunned as I was.
Mother, which friend? he shouted back.
The one and only! my motherinlaw declared, then slipped away into the sitting room.
Where am I supposed to go? I asked, bewildered.
Lizzy, youve heard every word Ive said, havent you? Margaret Whitaker snapped, her tone sharp as a winter wind.
She rummaged through the mahogany wardrobe and produced a set of crystal gobletsthose reserved for very special guests.
Now, she turned to her son, when will you send her off?
Who, Mother? Victor asked, feigning innocence.
Victor, stop playing the fool, Margaret rolled her eyes. Your wife, the clumsy one, will have to manage.
Why cant your friend just book a hotel room? I ventured.
Youve lost your mind! Have you seen the rates? Lizzy will have to live at the cottage for a while, lest she embarrass us.
Then Ill move to the cottage too. Its summer, we can take some leave and enjoy a break.
Sounds like a fine idea, Victor agreed, nodding.
Not so fast! You, my son, are needed here! Margaret snapped.
Mother, we have a threebedroom flat. You have your own room, we have ours, and the living room is empty. Your friend could stay there.
After that first meeting with the woman, I realised the road ahead would be anything but smooth. Margaret Whitaker had opposed my marriage from the start, refusing even to attend the wedding. It was my brotherinlaw, Victors sister, who finally dragged her in.
Two months had passed since the ceremony, and Margaret still would not accept me as part of the family. We now lived in Victors parents house; his father had died a year earlier, and Margaret was terrified of being alone.
Very well, she finally said, let your wife stay in her room and never leave it.
Mrs. Whitaker, how do you imagine that working? I protested.
Give me a moment, Ill think of something.
Mother, when is your mysterious friend due?
She should be here any minute, Margaret said, checking the clock.
A sudden knock at the door broke the tension.
How punctual, I remarked, surprised.
Margaret hurried to answer, and Victor and I followed her inside.
Good afternoon, Sally! a booming voice announced.
Hello, Margaret! replied the woman who entered, followed by a plump teenage girl.
Meet my little princess! Margaret declared, clapping her hands.
Does the princess have a name? Victor teased.
Imogen, the girl replied, her shoulders swaying with the weight of her twelvestone frame.
Margaret, why dont you introduce us to yours? Sally asked, eyeing me and Victor.
This is my son, Victor. Ive told you about him before.
I remember, I remembersuch a nice lad, Sally smiled.
And this, Margaret gestured, is his cousin, a secondcousin, you see.
My jaw dropped as Victor burst into a hearty laugh.
Mrs. Whitaker, you He pulled me toward the hallway.
Lizzy, lets not say who we are just yet.
Why not? I asked, perplexed.
You dont understand whats happening here.
Explain, then.
It seems your mother has invited her friend for more than a simple visit.
Its becoming clear. Your mother has found you a new wife.
Well watch what they do next, and well always find a way to tell the truth.
We returned to the corridor where the guests were shedding their coats.
Victor, help Imogen take off that lovely little backpack, Margaret ordered.
Margaret, where are our apartments? Sally asked.
Come this way, Sally, Margaret said, leading them into the sitting room.
That evening we sat down to dinner. Margaret had laid out a grand spread fit for a Christmas feast. In the centre of the table sat Imogen, flanked by her mother and Margaret. I was seated apart from Victor, as Margaret had insisted. The princess was served chicken with potatoes, while the two elderly women gazed at her with softened eyes.
Imogen, dont be shyeat up, Margaret urged.
Shes been a poor eater of late, Sally complained. Shes even lost weight.
What happened to her? Margaret asked.
Unrequited love, Sally sighed. She fell for a lad who kept running away.
Perhaps she wanted to eat him! Victor blurted, causing me to nearly topple off my chair in laughter.
Victor, where are your manners? Margaret scolded sharply.
Im sorry, I didnt mean any disrespect.
The meal progressed, and the ladies drank their fill.
I have an important announcement to make, Sally announced.
Now theyll start matchmaking, Victor whispered to me, sliding over.
Dear Margaret Whitaker, dear Victor, my sister, Sally began, I wish for our families to be united. My little princess is obliged to marry Victor Harper.
We agree! Margaret shouted, clapping her hands.
Victor roared with laughter, and I bolted from the kitchen.
I have something to declare as well! I shouted, returning a minute later.
What now? Margaret snapped.
Im expecting a child! I announced loudly.
Bragging and boasting, Margaret retorted.
Its from your son, Margaret Whitakersee the proof! I held up a pregnancy test, the two pink lines unmistakable.
Imogen pushed the chicken around her plate, and Sally took a swig of brandy that went down the wrong way.
From a secondcousin? Margaret asked, eyes wide.
Whats the problem? Weve been together and were not hiding it! We even staged a wedding! Victor declared.
Imogen, stand up and get out! Sally commanded.
But mum, I havent even finished my chicken, the girl protested.
Well no longer remain in this sinful house! Margaret cried, followed by her daughter. They hurried toward the door, and Margaret chased after them.
Sally, ignore themtheyre just joking.
Your jokes are nonsense! Margaret, I think we should end this acquaintance.
With that, the two stout women left. Victor and I stayed behind, laughing at the table. Margaret spent the following week nursing her hurt, but we paid her little mind.
