I’ve had enough! Thats it, Im leaving! How much more can I take?
I’ve had enough! Thats it, Im leaving! How much more can I take? The child, her constant tiredness, always “help me, help me”… but I just want to go out like I used to! I want some intimacy! I have a job for goodness sake! I want to come home to my beloved wife, a real woman Now Ill stay at my mates place, later I’ll find a younger girl… Ah, well… Sitting behind the wheel, thinking that today was the point of no return in our marriage, I smoked anxiously.
Our story is as old as time. We met, fell madly in love, passionate, reckless, no protection, and within a few months she showed me a positive pregnancy test.
Of course, have the baby, well manage, I said confidently. All the women and elders nodded, Well help, just have the child Then came the wedding, the birth, happy tearsa son! … And then the carefree happy life ended abruptly. My wife became a tired mother, dishevelled, perpetually exhausted, the child screaming day and night, her constant pleas: help me, help me Where did my girl go? Our relatives faded away We were left to fend for ourselves.
Im not ready! I told my wife today, slamming the door in her tear-stained face, the baby crying in her arms.
A screech of brakes suddenlyan old hunched figure appeared right in front of the car.
Whats the matter with you? Want to die? I shouted as I jumped out.
The man in a weathered coat straightened and looked at me with sad old eyes, whispering, Yes.
I was so shocked by his answer I didnt even know what to say.
Sir, do you need help? Can I help you?
I dont want to live anymore.
Come on now, let me take you home? Maybe if you tell me your story, I can help? I gently took his hand and led him to the car.
Go on then, tell me, I said lighting a cigarette.
Its a long story, he sighed.
Ive got time.
He looked at me, then up at a photograph dangling above. Fifty years ago, I met a girl. Fell for her instantly. All happened so quickbefore we knew it, there was a family, a boy, my son, my pride It seemed happiness was ours! But I wanted it like before, with love, passion, a bit of wildness. But my wife, she was tired, the house was chaotic, a baby, work to do, I dumped everything on her, never helped… Found another woman at work, it got messy… Wife found out, we divorced. Things never worked out with the other lady, but I didnt care, went out and lived it up. My ex remarried, looked wonderful, our son started calling her new husband Dad, and I was indifferent.
So what happened next? I asked, nervously lighting another cigarette.
Me? I partied too much, ended up with no wife, no family, no kids. Today my son turned fifty. I went to congratulate him. He wouldnt let me across the doorstep, he sobbed. Its my fault. He says, Youre not my father, go back to your good times.
Where do you want me to take you, sir? I drummed my fingers on the wheel.
I live over there, that block. Dont worry about me, he said, stepping from the car and shuffling towards a block of flats nearby. I watched until he entered the building, waited a bit, then turned around and drove off. I stopped at the supermarket and bought flowers.
Forgive me, forgive me, I whispered as I knelt before my crying wife once home. Have a rest, my love.
I took our son from her arms, went to another room, paced up and down, singing softly: The tired toys are sleeping now
Our son, surprised, quickly drifted off, his small hand placed trustingly over my pounding heart. I gazed at him in awe: I want to see my son grow up. I want him to call me Dad.
Saving lost souls again? the elderly lady greeted her husband with a smile at the door. He hung up his coat, grinning.
Yes, love, what else can I do but try to hammer in some sense to the younger lot?
How do you know who needs help?
I needed it myself at their age
Lets have some supper, saviour. By the way, dont forget, tomorrow is our sons birthdayno saving lost souls in the evening, she said affectionately.
Of course Ill remember. Fifty years for our son, fifty years for our lovehow could I forget? he said, wrapping his arm around his wife, heading to the kitchen with a smile.
Today, I learned that happiness needs to be tended to, not just expected. If you ever feel lost, dont wait until its too late to mend the things that matter most.
