Family Heirloom
– No! Please, dont try to talk me out of it, Mum! Im going to do it, no matter what!
– Emily, darling, why? Just explain to mewhy is this so important to you?
– Because he walks into the room a full minute before I do! Because I cant even stand to look at myself in the mirror! Because Ill never get my life sorted, properlyno husband, no children, nothing! Oh, Mum! Dont you get it?! Emily burst into tears, flinging her hairbrush at Percy, who had dawdled too long.
The cushion he was digging his claws into, while tuning in to the argument overhead, had been lovingly embroidered by Emily herself. It was meant as a present for Grandma, but the massive family row that split their once-united clan into two bitter camps had kept the gift trapped at home. The delicate roses sewn onto velvet now belonged to Emily herself and were often subject to these wild sabotages by the unruly feline ambassador of the Berg family.
Percy had come into the house courtesy of Emily. She felt personally responsible for taming the wild creature, having once rescued him from the local boys whod tormented the poor animal simply because it had no owner to defend it. When shed asked them, as politely as she could, what on earth they were doing, the lads didnt even bother acknowledging her.
Theyd seriously underestimated Emily. Yes, she was gentle and slight, just as her mother wished her to be. But her father had different ideas entirely. As a result, Emily was armed with a black belt in karate and an impressive lineup of trophies that jostled for space on her bookcase and filled her with intense irritation each time she dusted. She loathed housework, and the dust that kept gathering on the physical embodiment of her glorious achievements left her in utter despair. Her mother wouldnt let her stow the awards away either, sensibly insisting they provided her self-esteem a much-needed boost.
Her martial success had come in handy. The boysdefeated and smartingslunk off to repair their bruised reputations, and Emily became the guardian of a scrawny, balding kitten with a pathetically bare tail. The tail soon recovered, and the kitten grew into a ludicrously fluffy, cheeky cat convinced that Emily belonged to him. No more fretting necessary. It was time to live life to the fullest, occasionally repaying her affection by permitting Emily to scratch under his chin in recognition of his superior splendour.
The day Percy became an official family member, Emily was walking home from the Royal College of Music, frustrated and furious. Her preparations for the upcoming competition werent going well. Her fingers, usually obedient and marvelously skilled, started misbehaving the instant her fellow studentAdamentered the rehearsal room.
Adam, whom Emily had practically known her whole lifetheyd attended the same school, then the arts collegehad suddenly become a stranger, different, remote. They hadnt seen each other for a few months: summer holidays, then Adams trip for family business, and somehow, meeting again, Emily found herself tongue-tied. When hed slung his arm around her shoulder in that old, easy way, chattering to their classmates, Emily froze with a strange, breathtaking happiness and stood utterly still, stretching out the moment as long as possible. Ordinarily, she wouldve wriggled free, maybe thumped him playfully on the back of the head, but she didnt want to now. Now, she just wanted to stay, feeling his warm hand on her shoulder, quietly melting inside.
Of course, when Adam bounced off to the next rehearsal, brandishing wrinkled sheets of a new piece and shouting to announce his return, Emily scolded herself. Silly girlwhat are you thinking? Imagining thingshonestly!
But the strange feeling wouldnt let her go. Shed follow her tousled prince with her eyes and drop her lashes whenever he looked her way.
It was both torturous and wonderful. Part of Emily yearned to speak to Adam, but another part was terrified, so much so that even the thought of actually confessing made her hands go cold and useless, and the world would swirl black before her eyes.
Emily suffered.
She couldnt tell anyone what she was going through. She was certain Mum would never understand. Or perhaps it just seemed that waybut, either way, she couldnt bring herself to confide her first falling in love to her mother.
Her relationship with her mother was complicated. On the one hand, an aching, deep love; on the other Both of them knew theyd been blessedor perhaps cursedwith strong wills. The trick was to hold back now and then, not to wound the one you love. Only, it didnt always work, and inevitably, rows would explodenot shouting, or smashing crockeryno, their arguments were more reserved. Emily would quietly shut the door in her mothers face, or vice versa, and then, silence would fill the house.
– A cultural cold war.
Thats what Grandma used to call it, back before the family split, then she’d add:
– Absolute nonsense!
Emily agreed with her, but tradition was hard to break. So she kept up the custom, even though shed always be the first to make peace, patching up the fragile family calm.
Emily knew her mother loved herso much it almost hurt. For Albina Gregory Berg, nothing in the world mattered more than her daughter, and Emily knew it. She also knew her mother would do anything to keep her safeeven if it meant Emily lived under a bell jar, bound and gagged, unable to even scrape her knees on the outside world.
Albina protected Emily as best she could. It meant that apart from school, the odd day trip to the countryside, or a rare holiday with her parents, her world was tiny. Shed never been to camp or hung out with classmates outside school. She didnt really have friendsjust the children of Mums friends, carefully pre-selected as acceptable companions. Emily never wanted to be friends with themshe wasnt just awkward, it was that Lara always made snide little remarks and came up with mean nicknames, and Simon was an absolute terrorthe very first day, he pulled the head off Emilys beloved teddy with a casual, Serves him right!
What right? Emily never understood, but after that, shed put up a tremendous fuss any time Simon appeared on her doorstep.
– Oh, such a shame the children didnt hit it off, theyd have made a lovely couple!
Simons mother would shake her head consoling Emily, but the girl wouldnt have itshe felt the falseness right through.
– Albina! Dont stifle the poor child! Grandma would say, Emily snuggled up beside her. Let her make her own choices! Take that away now, and shell never feel whole.
– Margaret Josephine, dont muddy the waters! Emilys still a child! Whats she supposed to choose? Im responsible for her, and so I decide.
– Just dont drag it out so long you forget shes your daughter, not your property.
Why had Emily remembered that conversation so vividly? She couldnt say. But it stuck, so any time Mum grew determined, Emily would echo,
– Mum! Im not your property!
That always got under Albinas skin.
– Stop repeating everything you hear! Have a brain of your own!
– I do! And once again, chill settled over the house.
Emily had to stop seeing Grandma after the great falling out. Who was to blameGrandma, who’d shouted at her mother in the heat of the moment, or Mum, who, when pregnant with Emilys sibling, turned the house into a nightly stage for sobs and tantrums?
– Youre impossible! Don’t you have any pity? Its inhuman!
Neither Emily nor her father really knew what this pity was meant to look like. They crept around on tiptoes, trying not to upset Albina, but it did no good in the end. She lost the baby late into her term. Later, everyone agreed the therapy prescribed had been catastrophic, but nobody wanted to look for reasons. Albina blamed the whole world; only Margaret Josephine dared speak plainly.
– If you try again, youll need a real specialist! Why didnt you come to me? Was it pride, Albina? Or plain stupidity? Always have to do it yourself, and here we are! Youre not the only one grievingI lost a grandchild too
That talk nearly undid Grandma. The ambulance rushed her to hospital right from their house, but Albina never forgave her mother-in-laws words.
Emilys father tried to keep the peace at first, but realised quickly he could never out-argue two such stubborn women. He decided the only way forward was time.
It just dragged on. Emily missed her grandmother painfully, but didnt dare go against her mother. After the loss, Albina clung even tighter to Emily, as though her child was her only reason for living.
– Mum, why didnt you try again? I know you wanted a son so much.
Emily only asked her mother this question once, but it went unanswered. Albinas look was so sharp Emily knew never to bring it up again. The aftermath would sweep away everything good in their family.
Grandma was the one person Emily couldve trusted with her biggest secret, but now she was gone. Margaret Josephine sold her London flat, bought a cottage near the sea, and left.
– Its for the best, love. Therell be peace.
Since then, Emilys father would visit Grandma twice a year, and Albina didnt objectas long as Emily never went with him.
– I wont have her turned against me!
It was an arrangement that left Emily feeling restless, but she loved her parents too much to cause trouble. She kept Grandma’s photograph tucked inside her favourite book, sometimes sneaking it out when Mum wasnt looking.
The photographer had such talent: how could he capture Grandma so that the familys prized feature seemed so small, but when Emily faced her reflection, tears started in her eyes?
The nose. Family. Prominent and outrageously beautiful
Emily only accepted one word: prominent. She saw nothing beautiful in that part of herself.
– Its simply huge! Lara, whom Emily hadnt seen for over a decade, gasped in delight, reaching to touch the tip of Emilys nose with a manicured finger. Sorry! But you look just like Pinocchio! Does it get in the way when you snog? Oh! Goodnesswait, are you serious? Never kissed anyone? Oh, darling, you are a rarity! Your age, no boyfriend? Shocking!
How Emily kept her hands to herself she never knew. She wanted to yank a handful of that immaculate hair just to even the score.
Who was Lara to say such things? She wasnt a friendbarely even an acquaintance these days. Shed lived in Spain for years, only coming back for rare family visits. And this meeting had been set up by Albina at the last second before Lara left again, completely against Emilys wishes.
– Darling, you cant! You havent seen each other in so long!
– And I could go another ten. Why, Mum?
– Emily! Its important.
– To whom?
– You, for a start. Dont be silly. Youll thank me one day.
Of course, Emily did thank her mother, though only in her head and using the choicest phrases she could muster to express her turmoil. But the decision that formed during that meeting was the first truly grown-up and considered one of Emilys life.
– Im getting a nose job.
– No! Albina stared at Emily, stricken. I wont allow it! Why do you want that?
– You cant stop me, Mum. Dads already given his blessing. My minds made up.
– You wouldnt dare the words were so soft Emily barely heard them.
The conversation ended with Albina bursting into tears and retreating to her room. She paced for hours, desperate for a solution.
One arrived near midnight, so clear and obvious Albina froze momentarily before hurrying to her husband, begging for Margaret Josephines number.
Emily flew to Bournemouth the very next day.
Albina herself saw her off at the airport, and as she hugged her, whispered,
– We make so many stupid mistakes in life, sweetheart! We lose so much, right where theres so much to be found Dont repeat my mistakes! And remember, I love you and will always wait for you. Even if it doesnt always seem that waynever forget, youre my entire world, more precious to me than life itself.
Emily could only nod, squeeze her mother tightly, and board the plane. Her grandmother was waiting. That was all that mattered right now.
Margaret Josephine welcomed Emily with such warmth it took two days for conversation beyond one-word bursts to flow. But finally, when the emotions quietened enough for proper speech, Grandma asked,
– Emily, whats made your mother finally wise up and let you be a woman?
– I dont know. Probably the fact I want to chop off my nose.
– Whatever for? You look lovely! Maybe a little makeup wouldnt hurt, but thats beside the point.
– Not you too, Grandma! They say I look like Pinocchio.
– Who told you that nonsense?
– Some people
Emily bit her lip, thinking of elegant, poised Larathe kind of girl whod have boys queuing up just for the privilege of being near her.
– People who mock others for their looks arent worth your time, love. Theyre simply a mistake someone, somewhere, forgot to fix. No ones perfectleast of all women! Show me one who is completely happy with how she looks, and Ill see to it shes in the Guinness Book of Records that very day!
– Maybe I should apply. For Most Remarkable Nose, perhaps? Im sure Id win. No competition.
– Hold on. Margaret rose regally from her armchair, head held high, and vanished into the next room.
She returned clutching a blue velvet photo album.
– Here you are!
– Whats this?
– These are the women for whom the Berg family heirloom never got in the way of happiness. Your ancestors. Not alla lot of photos have been lost. You wont find any of my cousins who died in the bombings during the War. But one managed to save her daughtergave every possession to a neighbour who hid the child and returned nearly all her things, saying that the girl should have some memory of her family. Aunt Fayremember her? She grew up to be an extraordinary woman and a brilliant surgeon. She wore a special mask in theatre to keep her nose out of the waylook, here she is!
A tall woman in a bathing suit laughed amid the sea spray, holding her sunhat to her head. Next to her, a man worthy of any magazine cover.
– Thats Uncle Michael?
– Yesso young, strong, and handsome! Fay was so happy with him.
– But he was ill, wasnt he? I remember you saying.
– He was. She left her job to care for him those last years, never wasted a moment, and still counted herself lucky to have them at all. She followed him just six months after. Always said she wished they could have gone together…
– What a story…
– Fays just one. None of us took new surnames when we married. We tried to keep the memory of Grandfather and his brother, the founders of our family. Thats where our noses come from. Yet none of us girls were ever held back by them. Every one of us found love, had children with the ones we wanted, saw grandchildren and even great-grandchildrenwhat more could anybody ask?
Margaret stood again, returned with a small carved jewellery box.
– Its time, I think. Take this, Emily. Its what Fay left for you. She divided everything so each of us got something meaningful.
The earrings Emily lifted from the box took her breath away, her fingers trembling just as they had around Adam.
– Your great-great uncle made those. He was a spectacular jeweller, saw beauty everywhereespecially in nature.
– Are these lilies? Emily marvelled at the floral pattern set with tiny stones.
– For his wife, Lily. He made them for her, she passed them down, and now theyre yours.
– Grandma! Theyre a real family treasure!
– As is your nose, my dear! Imagine if I decided to melt this down just because it isn’t fashionable anymore? Swap it for some soulless trinket? Of course not.
Emily made a fist, closing her hand over the earrings, shaking her head.
– That would be wrong.
– So dont insult God by telling Him he made you wrong. Everything about you is exactly as its meant to be. Now, tell me about the boy whos stirred up all this trouble for you. Who is he? What does he do?
– Grandma! How did you know?! Emily blushed deeply, eyes dropping.
– Magic! Margaret grinned. Or do you think I was never young?
The conversation lasted far into the night. Emily talked and talked, knowing Grandma was really listening, feeling hope return. Now she could breathe again, get ready for her contest, and imagine the future without that heavy, sticky dread. She finally had someone she could share everything with.
Next morning, Emily found Grandma packing a suitcase.
– Where are you going?
– Time to put things right, Emily. Ive made plenty of mistakes myselfletting this family split is the worst. I need to see your mother.
Margarets resolve was fierce; Emily didnt argue. She quietly helped her pack and called a taxi to the airport.
Later, curled up with Percy and listening to the low voices from the kitchen, Emily ached to run in, sit with them both, hold her mothers hand and ask if theyd finally sorted things out But she knew she shouldnt. This was fragile, barely-formed happiness, easily lost and so hard-won. True family harmonya piece of delicate craftsmanship.
A year later, Albina, holding her baby bump and gingerly rising after the make-up artist finished, would gently touch the lily-shaped earring in her daughters ear, adjust Emilys veil, and carefully pin her hair.
– All set?
– Almostjust a touch of powder for the family treasure! Emily would turn to the mirror and smile, running a hand over her now beloved nose.
Shed remember the first time shed nervously asked Adam if there was anything about her looks he didnt like.
– What? Emily, youre perfect, absolutely perfect. Why on earth would you ask?
Hed look so genuinely puzzled Emily would close her eyes in bliss.
A soft smile, lashes fluttering, and her slim arms would wind round the neck of the mop-haired, tall musician, fresh from winning an international prize.
– Just because, love. Just becauseOutside, the afternoon sun poured through stained glass, painting the floor with bursts of crimson and gold. Laughter from the hallway spilled into the quiet bridal room, threaded with the scent of peonies. In the mirror, Emily caught Percys reflection, tail waving as he marched in, bold as ever. He jumped onto her lap, purring approval, his green eyes shining with satisfactionas if to say, See? This is exactly how it should be.
Grandmas gentle voice floated through the open doorway, singing an old family tune, the melody winding around walls thatat lastfelt like home again. Emily glanced at her mother, who stroked her hair with trembling pride, and then at her own reflection. There was the nose, and with it, all the triumphs, heartaches, losses, and hard-won joys of a hundred women before hereach one loved, each one enough, just as she was.
She slipped the lilies into her ears, let her fingers rest on their silver warmth, and drew a slow, happy breath. The door opened, Adam peeked ineyes soft, heart sureand Emily, heirloom and all, went forward to greet her future, surrounded by the love that just kept coming back, no matter how far it had wandered.
Outside, bells rang for joyfamiliar, beautiful, unmistakably their own.
