Failed Family Ties Test

Alena stirred the milk into her son’s porridge with frantic energy while little Oliver stacked wooden blocks into what he proudly declared “the tallest lift in the world.” At the table, her sharp-tongued mother-in-law, Margaret Holloway, coughed lightly—steel-eyed, draped in a floral housecoat.

“Look at those eyebrows,” Margaret muttered, squinting at her grandson. “Not a trace of our family. Not even his father’s ears.”

“Mum, have you looked at me? I’m hardly a carbon copy of Daniel,” Alena laughed, setting the bowl aside. “Genes are a funny thing.”

“Funny or not, they’re downright strange,” Margaret huffed before bustling off to refill the teapot.

Alena inhaled deeply, counting down: *Four more days till Saturday.* Margaret’s sixtieth. Alena had planned a peace offering—an elegant dinner at The Rosewood, a jazz quartet, a towering cake with edible gold, and, most importantly, a three-week spa retreat in the Lake District. *She’ll relax. She’ll stop nitpicking about resemblance.*

That evening, as Alena checked the budget, Daniel popped his head into the study.

“I ordered Mum that photo album—ready by Saturday.”

“Perfect! Keep it secret—let her weep from joy.”

“Listen,” he said softly, “don’t take her words to heart. She’s kind. Just… sharp as a tack.”

“I know. But if she says ‘he doesn’t look like us’ one more time—”

Daniel kissed her forehead and slipped away to check Oliver’s homework.

Thursday morning brought an unexpected courier—a woman in a yellow jacket thrust an unmarked parcel into Alena’s hands.

“Sign here.”

Alena tossed it onto the gift pile in the lounge: a silk scarf, a jar of heather honey, the spa voucher. Wrapping would wait till Friday—perfection required patience.

By noon on Saturday, The Rosewood glowed under March sunlight, smelling of peonies and toffee. Margaret arrived on Daniel’s arm, eyes widening.

“All this? Forty years of work *did* pay off.”

“Only for you,” Alena beamed, signaling the waiter for champagne.

The jazz hummed, amber lanterns flickering, melting the frost from Margaret’s expression. Alena watched every twitch of her lips—*she’s happy, I think.*

Then came the cake—sparkling fountains, applause. With shaking hands, Alena announced, “Now, the real gift!” She passed Margaret the envelope. “Three weeks of silence, massages, salt caves!”

Margaret gasped. “Goodness, I’m not *ill!*”

“Healthy people rest too,” Daniel protested, hugging her.

Oliver, clutching a bouquet, suddenly held up a silver envelope labeled *GENETIX | Confidential.*

“Mum, is this part of the gifts?”

Alena froze. “No. Put it back.”

But Margaret snatched it. “Oh, this *must* be mine!” She tore it open—then stiffened, cheeks flushing.

“Mum?” Daniel reached for the papers.

“Nothing,” she rasped, crumpling them.

Alena’s blood ran cold. *That DNA test she’d joked about?*

Behind them, a tray clattered. The birthday song blared, masking the tension—but not Margaret’s glare, burning through Alena like acid.

That night, once Oliver slept, the couple faced each other. Daniel held the crumpled report.

“She left in tears. Did you do this?” He thrust it forward: *Grandmother/Grandson—0% blood relation.*

“It wasn’t me!” Alena whispered. “She ordered it. I wanted tonight to *fix* things, but she—”

“Wait. These numbers… How?” Daniel dragged a hand down his face.

“A fake test. Or she rigged it to prove Oliver’s ‘not family.’”

Daniel exhaled. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

Margaret greeted him with files spread like evidence. “Sit. Look.” She slid a hospital bracelet across the table—*Holloway D., Ward 7.* “I kept this for years. Then last week, I found another.” A second bracelet, different ward. “So I did the test—started small.”

“Just say it. You think Oliver’s not mine?”

“Not just him. *You’re* not mine.” Her smile fractured. “While you were distracted, I took an express blood test. Check my card statement.”

Daniel read: *Mother/Son—0%*.

“Mum. You *birthed* me.”

“I birthed *a* boy. They showed me *you.* But that year, the hospital was chaos—babies shuffled everywhere. Turns out… I never had children of my own.” Her hands clasped, holding herself together.

“*Stop.* We’ll redo the test. All three of us.”

Monday, the family visited the clinic. Oliver cheerfully ate malt tablets from the vending machine. Four days later, the results arrived.

They sat at the kitchen table like defendants. Alena trembled; Margaret sat rigid. Daniel opened the envelope.

“*Father/Child—99.98%.*” He exhaled. “Oliver *is* mine.”

Alena squeezed his hand.

“Next: *Grandmother/Grandson—0%.*” Daniel looked up. “*Mother/Son—0%.*”

Silence cracked like ice.

“So you *really* aren’t…” Margaret laughed, hollow. “Thirty-five years of delusion.”

Alena stepped closer. “You raised him, loved him—”

“*Loved?* I couldn’t breathe without him!” Margaret finally wept. “But now? I have no son. No grandson.”

Daniel pulled her close. “You have *us*. Blood or not.”

Oliver hugged her. “Gran, play chess. You promised.”

Margaret touched his hair—*not hers, but warm, smelling of strawberry shampoo.*

A week later, Daniel took leave to visit his birthplace’s hospital archives. Alena insisted on joining.

“What if we find the other boy?” she asked on the drive.

“Dunno. Maybe… I’d want to meet him.”

In the dusty records room, the matron flipped through 1990’s ledger.

“July nineteenth—Holloway, Ward 7. That night, another boy went to surgery, Ward 4. Bracelets must’ve been swapped.”

“Name?” Daniel leaned in.

“*William Thatcher. Address: Hedgebrook village.*”

Alena gripped his arm.

Back home, they found William online—an engineer, two kids, with Margaret’s sharp cheekbones. They arranged coffee.

“Strange, eh?” William spun his cup. “Mum always joked I ‘wasn’t Dad’s.’ Then your letter—and your mum’s photo. Bloody surreal.”

Margaret entered slowly, as if approaching an altar. William stood.

“Hello… Mum, I suppose?”

Her trembling hand brushed his cheek. “So *there* are my cheekbones.”

They talked till closing—comparing childhoods, habits, laughing at eerie parallels.

That night, tucking Oliver in, Alena asked, “Hard to process?”

“Weird. I’m the same, yet everything’s shifted.” Daniel sighed. “Mum’s thrilled she found ‘blood,’ but she won’t let me go. Now we’re just… bigger.”

Alena kissed him. “Has she mentioned Oliver’s looks?”

“Today she said, ‘He holds a spoon like William.’ I said, ‘That’s what happens when families triple.’” He laughed, pulling her close. “C’mon. What’s the DNA percentage for love?”

Alena smiled. “Infinity. No test can measure that.”

Next door, Margaret arranged two albums—one old, with Daniel’s school photos; one new, filled with William’s family. She pressed the covers together, fingertips tracing them like halves of a heart, and for the first time in years, felt her family was *full*—overflowing, joyfully, undeniably full.

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Failed Family Ties Test