**Diary Entry**
Im sixty now and live in Oxford. Never did I imagine, after all Ive been through, that twenty years of silence would shatter with such audacityleast of all by my own son.
At twenty-five, I was head over heels. Williamtall, charming, wittyseemed like a dream come true. We married quickly, and a year later, our son James was born. The early years felt like a fairy tale. We lived in a modest flat, made plans, built dreams. I taught at a primary school; he was an architect. Nothing could touch our happiness.
But slowly, William changed. Late nights turned to lies, then distance. I ignored the whispers, the unfamiliar perfumes, until the truth was undeniable: he was unfaithful, repeatedly. Friends, neighbours, even my parents knew. I stayed, for James. Held on, hoping hed change. Then one night, I woke to an empty bed and realisedI couldnt anymore.
I packed my things, took five-year-old James by the hand, and left for my mothers. William didnt stop us. A month later, he moved abroadsupposedly for work. Soon, there was another woman. No letters, no calls. Just silence. And I was alone. Mum passed, then Dad. James and I weathered it allschool, illnesses, graduations. I worked double shifts so hed want for nothing. My life wasnt my own; it was his.
When James got into university in London, I helped however I couldcare packages, spare cash, endless support. But a flat? I couldnt afford it. He never complained. Said hed manage. I was proud.
Then, a month ago, he arrived with news: he was getting married. My joy vanished when he hesitated, avoiding my eyes. Then it came out:
*”Mum I need your help. Its about Dad.”*
I froze. Hed reconnected with William, whod returned to England offering him a two-bedroom flatinherited from his grandmotheron one condition: I remarry him. Let him move into *my* home.
I couldnt breathe. James kept talking:
*”Youre alone Why not try again? For me. For my future. Dads changed”*
I walked to the kitchen. Boiled the kettle, hands shaking. Twenty years I carried us. Twenty years of his indifference. Now he returns with a *bargain*?
I went back, calm but firm:
*”No. I wont.”*
James erupted. Shouted that Id *always* been selfish, robbed him of a father, was ruining his life now. I stayed silent. Every word cut. He didnt know the nights I went hungry so he could have meat, the wedding ring I sold for his winter coat.
Im not lonely. My lifes been hard but honesta job, my garden, books, friends. I wont take back a man who betrayed me, then returned for convenience.
James left without a goodbye. He hasnt called since. I understand his hurt. He wants whats bestjust as I once did. But I wont trade my dignity for square metres. The price is too high.
Maybe one day hell understand. Maybe itll take years. Ill wait. Because lovereal lovehas no conditions, no flats or *what-ifs*. I brought him into this world with love. Raised him with it. And I wont let love become a transaction now.
As for William? The past can keep him. Thats where he belongs.
**Lesson:** Love shouldnt come with a price tagand self-respect isnt negotiable.
