Emily breaks free from the grip of her feelings
Back in Year9, Emily spots how her classmate James seems to find her everywhere with his gaze. She even feels his eyes on the back of her head during lessons, and whenever he looks back, their eyes lock for a split second.
Emily, her best friend Lucy giggles, James cant take his eyes off you. Im watching him too.
I know, Emily replies with a smile, feeling a thrill because she likes the boy.
After class one day, James finally gathers the courage, waits for her by the school gates, and, a little nervous, asks, Emily, can I walk you home?
Emily hesitates, but Lucy nudges her forward, and she agrees.
Fine, were heading the same way, James says, pretending indifference.
As they walk, James chatters, they laugh, and Emilys heart jumps with joy. Their friendship quickly turns into a schoolyard romance, and soon everyone at the secondary school knows theyre together. James stays close, and whenever someone from another form tries to talk to Emily, he brushes them off.
Emily has always been a pretty girl. Even in Year1, her teacher MrsHawthorne cant help but remark, My goodness, Emily, what lovely eyes you have!
Near the end of school, Emily and James decide to apply to the same university. They pass their exams, attend their graduation, and say goodbye to school, welcoming adult life. After the exams, James suggests, Emily, lets go to my family cottage tomorrow, maybe stay the night. We can celebrate passing the exams we did well.
Emily feels James pushing for a closer relationship. She resists, and he looks hurt.
Were adults now, forget the rules. Its bound to happen sometime Youve read Romeo and Juliet, and they were younger than us. No one judged them; everyone admired their love, James urges.
Emily listens quietly, partly agreeing, but shes scared terrified of losing James, the boy shes grown so attached to.
James grows angry.
Come on, Emily, just say yes!
I dont know, maybe my mum wont let me go overnight, Emily replies.
And what about my parents being there? Cant you think of that? James retorts.
Getting permission to stay at Jamess cottage proves tricky. Emilys mother looks at her sternly and says, I wont let you. I know what youll get up to, and Ill have to clean up the mess.
Mom, Jamess parents and his older sister will be there too, Emily lies, not blinking. You dont trust me?
After a moment, her mother waves a hand. Fine, go then. I cant watch you 24hours a day. Its a bit improper for a girl to spend the night at a boys place, but go.
In the bus, they hold hands the whole way. Emily is nervous; James seems distracted, lost in thought. She imagines what might happen, and, as she feared, it unfolds exactly that way. The moment they step into the cottage, James drags her by the arm into a room with a sofa. Seeing the sofa, Emily tries to pull away.
Dont worry, James says softly, pulling her onto the sofa.
The room is bright, and James pulls the curtains aside, then lunges at her. Emily pushes him hard, leaps from the sofa, and bolts out of the cottage, sprinting toward the bus stop. No bus is there, and she suddenly spots James.
Im seeing you off, he says coldly. Dont bother trying to explain yourself.
At the graduation party he doesnt approach her; Lucy asks about him, and Emily stays silent. He never calls after the party. A week later, pride set aside, Emily decides to call James herself. His sister answers.
James has moved to London to start university. I thought youd know
Twenty years later, Emily marries Mark, they have a daughter, but James still flickers in her memory. He never calls, they never meet, yet he appears in her dreams.
That night James visits her in a dream again. They walk handinhand across a meadow dotted with daisies, a river glinting in the sun ahead. She smiles; he looks at her sadly, as if saying goodbye, then releases her hand and disappears.
Emily wakes, glances at Mark sleeping soundly, and sighs with relief.
Sleepy as a hibernating bear, she mutters, amused.
Even though its early, she slips out of bed, heads to the bathroom, and peeks into her daughters room. The little girl snoozes, golden hair spread across the pillow. Standing under the shower, Emily wonders, Why does James keep appearing in my dreams? I always feel offkilter afterward, a bit blue, even snapping at Mark. Maybe I shouldnt have married him? We live a quiet life, no passion, no romance, everything tidy and scheduled.
She prepares breakfast, intending to wake Mark, but hes already out of the bedroom. They eat together while their daughter enjoys her school holidays. Suddenly the phone rings.
Emily, love, its Lucy, a cheerful voice says. Sorry for the early call, but I have news! Our class is reuniting for the 20year reunion, because its our anniversary year since graduation.
Emily has already missed two reunions.
Lucy, youre still the classs indefatigable organiser. Whens it?
Next Saturday.
Oh dear, Mark and I planned a weekend in the countryside with his relatives
Nothing, we can cancel, Lucy says firmly. Youve already missed two, so stop making excuses or well all show up at your door!
Emily laughs, Youve scared me! Where are we meeting?
At the Riverside Hotel, of course!
Lucy pauses, then adds, Were actually celebrating at Jamess place.
Emily blinks. Hes the one who appeared in my dream
Lucy continues, James just built a huge twostorey house and invited us all over.
Is his wife okay? Does she mind? Emily asks, clueless about his current life.
Shes off with their son in Turkey, so no problem. People do what they want, Lucy replies with a hint of envy. Im divorced, anyway You have to come.
Fine, tell me the address, Emily says. Marks at work, already near the door.
Mark grumbles as she leaves, Those old classmates again. What havent you seen?
She replies, I havent seen them, and Im not asking permission. Im just doing what I want. We sit at home, cook, clean, wash like a servant.
Thats enough, dont whine, Mark says placatingly. Im not a tyrant. If you want a new dress, go buy one.
Thanks, Ill get something nice! Emily says, thinking about the reunion and about James. She cant fall asleep that night; twenty years have passed since that school day.
The reunion
Emily steps out of the taxi, presses the button for the gate, and a minute later the heavy doors swing open. James stands there, tall, handsome, looking welloff.
Welcome, guest, his velvety voice says, a hint of teasing in his tone. Come in, or are you still a coward?
Hey, Emily replies, stepping inside the courtyard.
James pulls her into a hug and plants a kiss on her cheek.
You look stunning! Even more beautiful than before scary, actually, he jokes, admiring her.
She feels her cheeks flush under his dark eyes, lowers her head, and walks toward the house. He catches up, takes her hand, and they enter together.
Yay, Emily! Lucy shouts, leaping up to hug her.
People start drifting away as the evening ends. They all sit down at the table, swapping compliments, catching up on families and children. Music plays, and James asks Emily to dance.
Hows life? she asks.
Fine. I see the world differently now. Im busy expanding my business, he says.
As the night draws to a close, guests begin to leave. James stops Emily.
Stay a bit, help me with this, he says, gesturing to the kitchen.
Im not sure, she answers, uneasy.
Lucy interjects, Someone has to help!
Alright, Emily mutters.
When everyone finally departs, James seizes her hands.
That whole dishwashing thing was just an excuse to keep you here, he admits.
Why? Emily asks, alarmed.
I dont know, he mutters, rubbing his nose against her cheek. Seeing you made me realise how much Ive missed you all these years.
His lips brush her neck.
Emily, youre youre He rips off his jacket, pushes her onto the sofa, and says, Imagine, Ive grown tired of my wife, the other women who only want my money. And youre fresh, beautiful
Emily feels as if shes been scalded.
Other women! Im just a pastime for him! No, I wont betray Mark, she declares, springing up and shoving James away, then dashing out of the house. She reaches the gate, and her phone rings its Mark.
Hey love, coming over? he asks.
No, Ive called a taxi, Ill be home soon, she says, trying to stay calm. Thanks, darling. Youre the best.
Mark laughs, Alright, see you.
She gets into the taxi, and Jamess angry voice follows her, Youll regret this, youre still the same pretty thing!
Emily slams the door shut, the car lurches forward, and she thinks, Let him be angry, let him blow up. Let him stay in his cold house. I feel so free now. Ive finally broken his hold on me, forever.
