Loneliness
Ladies for hire, a rider marries a goat, and she turns it down. Better one than a freeofcharge service that has been running for years.
Whats the point of being alone, Blythe? says the mother. A man must have a partner, and a woman should always be with a bloke. Otherwise it feels wrong and nobody will ever look at you. Loneliness, you know what it is?
What is it? Blythe asks, halflaughing, annoyed by the same old lecture.
Loneliness is a trap! the mother declares, waving her hand like shes casting a spell. Its when youre desperate for someone to pour you a drink. The kids will be the ones to notice!
Where? Blythe flutters.
Where, where in York! the mother finally says, realizing the sarcasm in the mothers own laughter, then she sighs. You should keep your head up, Im looking out for you. Its hard to be alone. The soul feels heavy. Lets get to know each other, okay? John is a decent fellow. And there are those who never stop talking and get stuck fast.
Blythe has been single for about ten years. Her benefactor, the one she calls the old benefactor, left an estate ten years ago, a modest oneroom flat in central London. He visited once, briefly. When Blythe learns of it, she points out the husband and the two childrens toys, then the two of their quarters. Though the husband tries to convince her that one chance is enough and nothing is permanent unless you make it so, swearing at himself with a wooden spoon and shedding a few manly tears, Blythe remains unmoved. The ceremony goes ahead.
The husband treats the wife gently, leaving the old ladys quarters and the two kids rooms untouched. But the children grow up and scatter. The son stays and works in Manchester. The daughter quickly marries and moves abroad with her husband. Blythe ends up living alone in a very tiny twobedroom flat in the heart of the city.
Living alone never bothers her. She lands a freelance job, a respectable profession, and a decent income that lets her live comfortably, taking in occasional guestsher mother Martha and her sisterinlaw. Despite not being a genius, she always finds something to occupy her and never gets bored. She reads a lot, swims, goes to yoga, loves traveling, sometimes joins a restoration club with a few friends. In short, she lives contentedly.
Until the day her sisterinlaw Martha decides to sort out her own fate
Listen to me, Blythe. A decent bloke, not too old, maybe sixtyone. Youve been single for seven years. A big house, decent, a farm with chickens, cows, pigs, goats, and nothing else missing! Its healthy food, proper milk, eggs, meat. Youll live a hundred years, I promise! And the man is charming, welleducated, and talks like a bookworm Blythe, give it a try. Lets meet, okay? Martha coaxes, as Blythe hesitates.
Alright, Martha, Ill meet your friendthefarmer, Blythe says, but I havent promised anything.
They say business never changes, as the saying goes. Martha doesnt put the deal in a long drawer; she quickly arranges a meeting between Blythe and the rider.
The rider turns out to be nothing special. Tall, muscular, welldressed and proper. Hands rough, nails clean, shoes polished. He smiles politely, though not warmly, and talks in a low voice. He doesnt bother with fancy words; he jokes, laughs with the sisters for a few minutes, and his name sounds plainly EnglishJohn Carter.
After the first meeting, a second one follows, then a third. Blythe starts to watch John Carter more closely. She thinks perhaps the sisterinlaw is right and a grounded soul is needed. John seems steadfast about a union. He suggests, Lets marry, Blythe, and well run the farm together.
Blythe writes John a message, saying she will decline his proposal. She tells him she wont go down that road, that a man who only looks for work and power isnt the one she needs. She wants to stay in her solitude. And she jokes that, When waters scarce, not everyone wants to drink.
Martha sighs heavily, remembering the old promise she made to Blythe. She doesnt shed a tear over the riders rejection, but under the influence of the old promise, she decides not to chase after him again. She vows not to look for more wives for John.
Blythe sends John a text, saying the meetings are over, that she has no desire to continue, that circumstances have changed against his benefit. John calls her a few days later, then stops. He seems smart, a man of his own. Blythe wakes at eight in the morning, makes a brew, washes up, and sits down for a coffee with a biscuit. She looks out the window, thinking she hasnt seen the kids in ages; she should visit her son, and her daughter should be called for a birthday. She also needs to buy a small handbag for the cheap winter coat she already owns, and arrange a meeting with Lena, a local vet.
She also thinks that everything could be fine without being overly selfish. Sometimes selfishness is healthy.
She remembers that the farm needs a proper manager, that the cows need milking, the goats need feeding, eggs need collecting, and the house needs a tidy garden. Ill kill the weeds, but the female hand and eye are better than a mans, she mutters. Lets go, shall we? The spring is on its way, the fences need fixing, the barns are waiting.
She returns home and ponders. What does she really need? She has a pleasant cottage in the city, a profitable freelance job, a small garden where she grows herbs in summer and picks mushrooms in the woods, and a cottage of her own. She bought a secondhand car eight years ago. She wonders where it went, whether shell need it for farm work, cleaning pigs, milking cows, or feeding geese.
She also needs to prepare lunch for the husband, buy groceries, pick up parcels, and keep an eye on the whole estate. The house must stay clean. Of course, the income from the farm is good, but she also lives modestly. She expects a pension, which will be enough, and she has some savings.
All this is necessary, not just for comfortable living, but also for Blythes future. She will bend her back in the garden, sow a carrot patch, and tend to twostory stairsdoes she really need all that? In the evening she calls Martha.
Martha, dont take offence. Ill politely refuse Johns proposal. Maybe someone else will find a hardworking man like him, but I dont need that. He never showed any real affection, just a desire for labour. Ill stay in my solitude. And when it comes to water, not everyone wants to drink, you know?
Martha sighs, then the conversation drifts into a quiet lull. Blythe hangs up, looks out at the street, decides to take a walk, and feels the chill of the autumn air. She knows she can manage her life, keep her independence, and still enjoy the simple pleasures of tea, books, and occasional visits from family. The present moment feels both lonely and full at once, and she embraces it.
