Helen never even entertains the idea of asking Simon to move in with her. Dating is one thing; cohabiting is entirely another. On Saturday she waits for Simons usual walk. She opens the front door and is taken abackhe stands there with two large suitcases.
Helen sits in an armchair, scrolling through photographs on her phone. There they are, feeding ducks in HydePark; there they are strolling along the Thames; and here is their joint mushroomforaging trek in the NewForest. Six months of acquaintance have slipped by unnoticed.
They met on an online dating site. She is sixtyone, he is sixtythree. Both are divorced, their children are grown and live independently.
Simon immediately appeals to Helenwellread, witty, and cultured. He isnt looking for a mother for his kids or a housekeeper; he simply wants conversation with an interesting person.
They meet two or three times a week: sometimes a play at the WestEnd, sometimes an exhibition at the Tate, occasionally a coffee in a Chelsea café, walks around town, or trips to a friends cottage in Surrey. Helen enjoys this lowcommitment companionship that still feels emotionally close.
Helen, tell me how you live, Simon asks after one of their early meetings.
Its quiet, peaceful. Ive been on my own for five years, so Im used to it, she replies.
Dont you get bored?
Sometimes. I have friends, my daughters visit, and now I have you.
Thats pleasant to hear.
After his divorce, Simon rents a onebedroom flat in a battered Victorian block. He complains that the landlady is capricious, never carries out repairs, and keeps raising the £300amonth rent.
But what can you do? he mutters. I have no home of my own. Everything went to my exwife after the split. Her parents bought the flat, and the cheap fixes Ive made with my own money wont count for anything.
Did you ever think of buying something for yourself?
Where would I find that kind of money for a flat?
Helen understands. She owns a threebedroom flat in a respectable neighbourhood, paid for with a lifetime of earnings. Her daughters have long since moved out, so theres plenty of space.
Still, Helen never even entertains the notion of offering Simon a room. Dating is one thing; cohabiting is entirely another.
On Saturday she expects Simon for their usual walk. She opens the door and is surprised to see him with two large suitcases.
Simon, whats happened? she asks.
Helen, may I come in? Ill explain, he says.
They move to the sitting room. Simon drops the suitcases in the hallway and sits on the sofa.
The landlady has decided to sell the flat, he says. Shes given me a week to vacate.
And now?
I have nowhere to live. Its not easy to find another flat at the moment, and Im short of cash.
Helen begins to see where this is heading.
Helen, Ive been thinkingour relationship is serious. Weve been seeing each other for half a year, we know each other well. What if we try living together?
Together? she repeats.
Exactly. Your threebedroom flat has plenty of room. Im not a loaferI still work, and Ill chip in for groceries and the like.
Simon, we never talked about this before.
And why discuss it in advance? Life itself has been telling us what to do.
Helen feels unsettled. She isnt ready for such a turn.
I need to think about it, she says.
Whats there to think about? We love each other.
Love and living together are different things.
Why are they different? At our age we should decide.
Decide what?
On the relationship. If were meeting, doesnt that mean we should be together?
Helen glances at the suitcases in the hallway. It seems Simon has already decided for her, brought his belongings and is presenting them as a fait accompli.
What if Im against it?
Against what? Against happiness?
Against someone arriving at my flat with their stuff without even asking permission.
Helen, dont be angry. Im not doing this out of spite. The circumstances just turned out this way.
Circumstances dont just happen; people create them.
What do you mean?
That you should have talked to me first, then brought the suitcases.
Simon falls silent, weighing his words.
Alright, lets talk now. I propose we live together.
I decline, Helen says.
Why?
Because I like living on my own. I enjoy our companionship, but I dont want to share a home.
But why? Were compatible.
Were compatible for dates, walks, shared hobbies. Not for shared daily life.
Whats the difference?
Daily life is routinehabits, order, compromises.
So what? We could adapt to each other.
Thats the pointI dont want to adapt. Im fine as I am.
Simon looks upset.
What if I propose we get married officially?
For what?
Just to make it proper, by the book.
Simon, marriage wont change anything. I still dont want to live together.
So whats the point of our relationship then?
The same as before. We meet, we talk, we spend time together.
What comes next?
We keep meeting.
Thats not serious!
Why isnt it? This arrangement works for me.
It doesnt work for me. I want stability.
Simon, what kind of stability do you need? Helen asks, sitting opposite him.
Normal, familytype stability. Living with the person I love, having breakfast together, making plans.
I dont want to have breakfast with anyone every day. I dont want to fit into someone elses schedule.
But youre alone!
Im not alone. I have my daughters, my friends, and you. Loneliness and living solo are different.
I dont see the difference.
The difference is that right now I choose when and with whom I interact. If we lived together, Id lose that choice.
Helen, at sixty you should be thinking about who will be by your side in old age.
Im thinking about it. It doesnt have to be a man.
Then who?
My daughters, a caregiver, social servicesthere are options.
But thats not what I want!
It may not be what you want, but its fine for me.
Simon stands and paces the room.
So youre suggesting I keep renting a flat and see you only on weekends?
Yes, live the way that suits you, and meet when we both feel like it.
What if I cant afford another flat?
Thats your problem, not mine.
Thats harsh, Helen.
Its honest. Im not obligated to solve your housing issues.
But were seeing each other!
We are. And what does that make me responsible for?
Simon sits back down, thoughtful.
If I find a flat, will we still keep in touch?
Sure, if we both want to.
Until then, can I stay at yours for a while?
No.
Not at all?
No, not at all.
Simon realises Helen is serious. He gathers his suitcases and heads for the door.
So Ill have to look for both a new home and new relationships.
Perhaps.
Helen, will you ever regret this?
No.
Simon leaves and never calls again. Helen returns to her tranquil life without a partner. At sixty she values peace above romance and cherishes her independence more than any companionship.
What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments and give a like if you agree.
