Echo in the Night
I was admitted to the rehabilitation ward just two weeks before Christmas. I wanted to go sooner, but there hadnt been any open beds.
Health is a serious business, I told myself, so when my GP handed me the referral, I was oddly cheerful about itthe clinic I was being sent to had a sparkling reputation in the city, everyone I knew spoke highly of it.
And yet, deep down, a pang of sadness stirred: Christmas was on its way, all the traditions, the crackers, the turkey, the decorations
Id loved Christmas ever since childhooddecorating the tree, stringing lights around the house, fussing over the pudding. The festive hustle and bustle always made me smile. But this year, Id have to forgo it all.
From the very first day, I kept reassuring myself that it was fine, that this wouldnt be my last Christmas, and that Id likely be home before New Years.
For the most part, I almost believed it.
***
My room was a small, cosy twin, with a telly and another lady who was half my age already settled in. They prescribed a whole range of treatments and exercise sessions. I even signed myself up for physiotherapy at the gymthe instructor was such a breath of fresh air.
The doctors praised my effort, said my recovery was coming along magnificently.
I smiled and nodded, and outwardly I felt proud, but inside I was melancholy.
For the first time in my life, I wasnt preparing for Christmas. No shopping for presents, no pondering over the best brandy for the sauce, no debating which dress Id wear to dinner.
It was as if Christmas was happening somewhere elsesome remote, unreachable place.
Health comes first, I reminded myself over and over, Ill have a lovely little celebration with my roommate.
On the 22nd of December, she was discharged. When the door closed behind her, I found myself alone. Completely. In the barren quiet.
***
On Christmas Eve, my children phoned, wished me well and asked about my health, promising to visit after all the festivities settled.
It was only fairthey had families of their own now, their own plans and traditions. A few colleagues sent messages during the day
And then, night settled in.
***
I heard other mates in misfortune gather in the corridor after the Queens message.
They tried to be cheerful, calling out, Merry Christmas! Wishing you all happiness!
I didnt move from my bed.
It felt as though there was an invisible wall separating me from everyone elses joy.
As though I was forgotten
***
I picked up my phone. I ached to hear a friendly voice.
But whom could I call?
So many contacts
Janean old school friend. We hadnt seen each other in years, though we cheerily liked each others photos online. Convenient, but completely hollow.
Markmy ex-husband. There was absolutely no reason to ring him.
I quickly scrolled on.
Petermy son. Of course, hed answer and talk with me If I truly needed, hed drop everything and rush over.
But he was used to seeing me as strong. I couldnt show my vulnerable side. Not to him.
The rest offered no comfortthere was simply no one I felt I could call, not even just to say, Merry Christmas. It would seem awkward. Or so I thought. And what about them?
Who could I call? Just someone, anyone I whispered into the antiseptic silence of my room.
And I cried
Turns out, I had everything: a home, a job, experience, plenty of acquaintances.
And yetnothing. No one.
***
Feeling this loneliness so intensely made me want to escape.
I threw on my coat and slipped outside. The cold night air took my breath away.
There, beside the clinic, was a tiny, snow-dusted park. I headed that way, not entirely sure why. I simply needed somewhere to go.
On a bench sat a man, perhaps my age, maybe a bit older.
He wasnt watching the city lights; he seemed absorbed by nothing at all.
My heart tightened at the sight of him. I wanted, more than anything, to say somethinganything.
Quietly, I said:
Hello.
He looked up and smileda genuine smile, wrinkles crinkling at the corners of his eyes.
And a hello to you. Merry Christmas.
I couldnt help but smile back. Such an ordinary phrase, but it tugged at something inside me.
Why are you out here tonight? I asked.
No one at home to talk to, he replied with simple frankness. Lost my wife three years ago. My daughters in Australiacalled earlier to wish me well, told me she was busy. So here I am. And you, are you from the hospital?
I nodded. Yes. Im in recovery after an illness. And tonight I realisedI have no one to ring on Christmas night. Hundreds of numbers in my phone, but no one to actually speak to.
He didnt seem surprised.
Yes Loneliness sneaks up quietly. One day you realise that if things went wrong for you, no one would know. No one would hear. And no one would come, he said, looking at me with real attention. And then, so you dont simply fade away, you have to dare to take the first step. As you have tonight You were brave enough. That means youre strong.
I dont feel strong
That doesnt matter, he said gently. You arent born strong. You become strong by turning towards lifeeven when its turned away from you. And you know if you dont come out tomorrow, Ill still be waiting. Because now I know you exist.
His words were so honest I suddenly understood: Id been searching for someone to rescue me from loneliness, not realising I might be someones rescue too.
***
As I made my way back to my room, a scrap of paper rested in my pocket, scrawled with his phone number in careful, slightly shaky handwriting.
That emptiness didnt vanish. But something warm now flickered withinan echo of someone elses voice:
Ill be waiting
For the first time in ages, my thoughts drifted not to what Id lost, but to what tomorrow might bring. Not a new life, but just tomorrow. The morning.
Perhaps Ill ring, I thought as I drifted to sleep, just to say, Good morning, Stephen.Merry Christmas. Maybe wed walk in the park together, or share a pot of tea, or simply pass a quiet hour in easy silence.
Outside, a wind whistled over the snowy rooftops. Somewhere, faintly, I heard carolers in the distancemuffled, but unmistakably joyful. The loneliness was still there, but softer now, threaded with hope. For the first time, I saw that perhaps Christmas didnt live in the traditions or the noise or the bustling rooms, but in brave hellos on cold benches, unexpected kindnesses, new beginnings.
I pressed the scrap of paper in my palm like a promise. Tomorrow, I would call. And maybe someday, when the dark set in for someone else, I could answer with my own warmth, and remind them: You are not forgotten. I am here.
In the hush of the ward, Christmas quietly arrived after allin a gentle echo that filled the night, and, finally, reached my heart.











