Don’t Unpack Your Suitcase—You’re Moving Out Today: A New Year’s Eve Tale of Cheating, Costume Parties, and Unmasking the Truth in London

Author Wanda MirandaReading 12 minViews 2

Dont bother unpacking your suitcase youre moving out.

Whats going on? barked Alice, her voice taking on a headmistresss severity as she faced the living room. Lewis, sprawled on the chintz sofa, didnt even bother to rise when she entered.

Whats going on is that youre leaving me, petal! So leave your suitcase shut: were getting a divorce, and tonight youre moving out! he replied, almost cheerfully.

Alice almost laughed Petal?

Have you seen me lately? Do I look like a bunny to you? Im nearly two metres tall! Lewis retorted to Sophies earlier suggestion that he be the bunny.

So what? Youll be a giant bunny bounding about, trampling the rest of us and off you go! Sophie sparred back, ever the wit.

And what size is the bunny costume, then? Lewis wondered.

Oh, blast it, youre right! The bunny suits tiny! How did I not realise? Sophie scowled.

After letting the silence linger for a moment, Sophie clapped her hands. Right, well swap things around. Youll be Father Christmas, and Victor will swap and become the bunny hes much smaller than you!

Will his coat fit me? The Father Christmas one, I mean. The long one, or do they wear tails these days?

Of course! Its a bit big on Victor anyway hes always tripping over the hem!

And what will I say? I dont know any of the lines!

Oh, for goodness sake, what lines? Its all ad-lib these days you got a first at Cambridge, didnt you? Ill be there to give you a hand! Sophie reassured.

Sophie had been Lewiss mate since school, now running events at a party agency that brought a little pantomime to people across London for the Christmas hols. Their rabbit had picked up a nasty case of pneumonia at the worst possible time, leaving a gap in the trio that would knock on doors and spread cheer.

Hang on what nonsense is this? you might ask, and youd be right too. Since when do you need a bunny for Christmas? Wheres the sense? Traditions clear: Father Christmas with his granddaughter, the Snow Maiden stick to the script! No need to reinvent the wheel!

But the agencys new owner fancied himself a modern man, keen to shake things up. He was also the investor, so what he said, went. Or perhaps, as it so often happens, hed once been denied his own chance to wear the bunny suit as a child, and here it was, carried into adulthood, determined to sweep away the dust with plush white fur.

So the bunny joined the cast. As is customary, a suit of snowy plush with long floppy ears and a rucksack stitched at the back, from which lolled a giant carrot sewn of bright orange linen.

We need a bit of innovation! cried the new boss, practically fizzing with energy. Lets inject a fresh stream of fun into this tired old holiday routine!

Next to this whirlwind, even dear old Mr. Bott from Whizzo Christmas looked tamely sweet, like Paddington Bear with a maraca.

Off they went, cranking up the novelty.

Now the Christmas entourage rode out in threes: Victor-Father Christmas, Sophie the Snow Maiden, and the improbably large bunny until the poor bunny caught pneumonia, and with two days to go until New Years Eve, there was no replacement.

I dont care how just make sure theres a bunny! the boss decreed.

And just like in the song, Im feeling rather blue today for bunnys in bed and I have nobody to play with etcetera, etcetera.

Lewis was anything but festive. His New Years was taking a gloomy shape: his wife Alice had suddenly dashed off to her mothers in Newcastle the poor soul had fallen even more ill, leaving Lewis alone.

Lately, Mother dearest was always ailing, one thing after another. And now, shes had another flare-up, Alice packing her suitcase for the third time in two months.

You understand, darling, I just cant leave Mum alone like this! Alice sighed piously as she folded her jumpers.

I could come too, you know wouldnt want you all on your own?

Oh, dont be daft, love! No sense in both of us ruining our holiday its enough Ill have to spend it with Mum.

But what about for better or for worse? Lewis said, wounded. We did promise

You can ring me and keep my spirits up thatll do. Go out, find some cheer.

He could have wrangled himself an invite somewhere, but every group seemed settled and he wasnt in the mood.

The mood was straight out of Alan Bennett: bleak, tired, and full of dismal silences.

Then Sophie called. Resourceful, loyal Sophie Sutherland just as the old song goes was always there to pull through.

Theyd been friends since secondary school and never quite stopped, even after Alice sniffed and claimed there was no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman. Shed even forbidden Sophie from coming to their wedding!

Lewis hadnt pressed didnt want to spoil Alices mood. The clever Sophie bore no grudge; theyd just kept their chats discreet, mostly calling from work.

So, this lonely New Years Eve, Sophies offer to help out and even get paid for it! came as a relief.

Not that Lewis was hurting for money. He had a splendid post at an analyst firm, good enough that Alice hadnt worked in ages. No, he took the job to simply kill the misery.

The Father Christmas coat actually fit, as did the wellies. They glued on a beard and moustache, and off they set for the rounds.

He took to it quite well it wasnt hard at all! Kiddies recited little rhymes, the bunny bounced around waving its sewn-on carrot, and they all danced around the tree. It was, as they say, spot-on.

Only one more visit remained for 10pm, December 31st and then freedom!

Kind Sophie, having heard of Lewiss looming solo New Year, invited him for the midnight toast with her husband and her mum, whod known Lewis well since school days. Sophie, still only twenty-five, had no children.

The drive to the last house was filled with laughter, even Victor clinking a discreet glass, something hed never done while sporting Father Christmass beard.

At 9:45, on a dark suburban road, Lewis called Alice.

How are you, darling?

Getting by, her voice replied, barely above a whisper.

Happy New Year, love! Tell your mum I wish her all the best.

Shes just dropped off dont want to wake her. Im just here with my headphones, thinking of you.

I love you. Ill ring you at midnight.

Me too! Look after yourself, bunny! she said, the last word echoing oddly.

When the last client flung open the door, Lewis nearly passed out. There was Alice, done up for a party, in the very dress hed seen her pack and whod left for Newcastle just days ago! Hed spoken to her barely fifteen minutes before

Hed offered to drive her himself, but Alice insisted, Ill make my own way you relax!

But there she was, party shoes and all.

When did she manage to sneak those in her suitcase? Lewiss mind raced. She packed right in front of me, the sly fox!

Was it even Alice? Did she have a twin? No, that birthmark on her brow it was her.

Or was this a hallucination, conjured up by holiday madness? The atmosphere did feel electric Like dreaming after a double helping of treacle tart.

But if it was a dream, everyone else saw it too.

Bunny! called out the apparition, voice ringing down the corridor.

Bunny? But Lewis that was his pet name

Lewis felt numb, like an observer disconnected from his limbs.

Coming, darling! cried a gruff voice, as a balding, rotund man shuffled into the hallway.

And wheres the little one? Wheres little Eddie? Sophie-the-Snow-Maiden asked.

Im Eddie! the bald man laughed, patting his ample beer belly, Treating myself tonight!

Lewis watched in horror as the scene unfolded: was this what Alice had lied so carefully about? Now it was perfectly clear hed been played for a fool.

He wanted to make a scene, spill everything right there, but shame held him back, especially in front of Sophie. So, in a changed baritone, he commanded, Recite us a poem, Eddie!

Eddie muttered a few nonsense lines. Alice didnt seem to recognise her husband she and Eddie were already well and truly sozzled.

How had Alice so stylish and neat ended up with this jelly of a man?

She clung to Eddie and giggled, wine sloshing.

Now the penny dropped: so this is where those mystery presents had come from all supposedly from her poor old mother in Newcastle, living on a shoestring.

Now a dance! Eddie roared, bored with poetry, and they all started marching round in a circle.

Darling, put on our song! Eddie slurred, and petal did just that the dancing began.

They all danced: Eddie, Alice, Victor-the-bunny (whod helped himself to another tipple, well, nearly time to go!) and Lewis, once hed got over the shock, filmed it all on his phone: Alices alibi was melting like snow.

Before long, the host refused to play any more. Thats enough off you pop, Im tired! Goodnight, darling! Petal did the honours and saw them out.

How odd a pretty girl like that with a slug like him? Sophie mused as they drove home. Hes not her husband, is he?

I am! Lewis wanted to shout, but bit his tongue.

He didnt go to Sophies for New Years in the end. He simply couldnt keep a straight face. Admitting to such a mess was too much.

He faked flu and brought himself home. He didnt call Alice at midnight, nor later let her enjoy herself with her new bunny.

So Lewis greeted the New Year alone. Time to think it all over.

He loved Alice or, at least, he had. That feeling dwindled after tonight, but he wouldnt forgive her. Divorce was certain; the flat was his.

On January 2nd, Alice returned, anxious. No call from Lewis? Hed always rung her several times a day.

Taking a taxi back no husband to meet her, though shed sent Lewis her arrival details.

Whats going on? Alice demanded, marching in. Lewis, unmoved, lounged on the sofa.

Whats going on is, youre leaving, petal. Dont unpack your case were divorcing, and youre moving out tonight.

Alice thought shed misheard. Petal? Only Eddie ever called her that.

And where am I supposed to go, pray? she tried bravado.

Ive no idea. Back to your bunny or to your mum in Newcastle. By the way, is she feeling better? Lewis replied steadily.

Youve got it all wrong, Alice started, softly. How did he know? Where did it all go wrong? Mum wasnt answering calls, and Eddie surely hadnt told

What a wretched twist of fate. Could someone have seen? But who?

Well, go on then, whats your story? Lewis inquired, a strange calmness settling over him. Is that bald chap in the hallway a specialist you met to discuss your mothers health? Or, perhaps, a travelling alchemist promising a cure? Or just maybe, a night nurse, paid at my expense, here to see to her every need?

Or maybe, Lewis added, hes an undertaker youve arranged in advance, just in case! No need to be shy, Alice you werent when you cavorted with not one, but two bunnies?

He played her the video.

She stared, silent. What could she say? Yes, shed started up a fling! Why? For a thrill, perhaps. Day after day alone boredom is deadly.

And Eddie, after all, wasnt short of a bob or two; his gifts were rather nice.

Work? Not for her better to be a rose in bloom.

An awful, unforeseen twist whod have guessed?

She did have a feeling for Lewis, or maybe just needed him. Shed hidden everything, not wanting to bite the hand that fed her.

That made it worse.

If shed loved Eddie and simply left, at least it would have made some sense.

Or if shed confessed to one mistake forgive me, darling, madness overtook me! he might have, generous as Lewis could be. Or was.

But to cheat, and to weave a great tapestry of lies about her mother That was a crime, as far as Lewis was concerned.

She wept, pleaded, promised, begged for mercy. But Lewis just shook his head whats done is done. Father Christmas, it seemed, could indeed be ruthless.

The marriage was over. Lewis was left with his dignity. He regretted only one thing: not making a larger scene that very night.

But perhaps that would have been too much. Even so, not a bad ending, all things considered wouldnt you say?

The Carer for the Wife — “What do you mean?” Lida thought she’d misheard him. “Where am I supposed to move? Why? For what reason?” — “Oh, do we really have to have this scene?” he grimaced. “What’s not clear? There’s no one left here for you to look after. Where you go isn’t my concern.” — “Ed, what? We were planning to get married, weren’t we?” — “That was all in your head. I never had any intentions like that.” At thirty-two, Lida decided to make a fresh start and leave her small hometown. What was there for her? Just her mother’s constant criticism – why, she’d never stop bringing up Lida’s divorce and blaming her for “losing” her husband. That ex, Vas, wasn’t worth a kind word anyway – a drunk and a womaniser! How had she managed to marry him eight years earlier? Truth be told, Lida felt relieved after the divorce—like she could finally breathe again. Still, the fights with her mother were endless—about the divorce, about never having enough money. At least she’d be better off moving to the city! Her old school friend, Sue, had married a widower years ago—so what if he was sixteen years older and no heartthrob? He had a flat and money. And Lida, she thought, was just as good as Sue! — “Thank goodness! You’ve come to your senses!” Sue cheered Lida’s plan. “Get packing—you can crash at ours for now. We’ll sort out a job.” — “Are you sure Mr. Peterson won’t mind?” Lida hesitated. — “Of course not! He does anything I ask. Don’t worry—we’ll manage!” But Lida didn’t outstay her welcome. After a couple of weeks—once she’d made her first pay—she rented a room. Then, remarkably, fortune smiled on her. — “Why on earth is a woman like you still working the market?” one of her regulars, Mr. Edward Barrington, asked sympathetically. By now, Lida knew all her regulars by name. — “It’s cold, it’s rough—but bills need paying,” she shrugged, then added playfully, “Or do you have a better offer?” Edward Barrington was not Prince Charming: at least twenty years her senior, getting pudgy and balding, with that sharp stare. He was fussy choosing his vegetables and always paid exactly to the penny. But he was tidily dressed and drove a nice car—not some bum or drunk. He did wear a wedding ring, though, so husband material he was not. — “You seem like a careful, reliable, tidy sort,” Edward slipped into ‘you’ easily enough, “Ever looked after an invalid before?” — “As a matter of fact, yes. I helped care for my neighbour when she had a stroke. Her kids lived too far, so they asked me.” — “Perfect!” he brightened, face shifting to sorrowful. “My wife, Tamara, has just had a stroke too. She’ll probably never recover… I brought her home, but there’s never time to care for her. Could you help? I’d pay you the going rate.” Lida didn’t have to think twice. Far better to be warm in someone’s flat—even if it meant emptying the commode—than freezing ten hours a day at the market. Even better, Edward offered her a room in their flat—no rent required! — “Three separate rooms—they’re huge! You could play football,” she enthused to Sue. “No kids in sight.” Tamara’s mother was a bit of a piece herself—sixty-eight and still acting young, a new husband distracting her. No one else to look after the patient. — “Is his wife truly that ill?” — “Oh yes… It’s bad. Poor woman’s like a log, can barely mumble. She’s unlikely to recover.” — “You’re not happy about that, are you?” Sue looked Lida hard in the eye. — “Course not!” Lida looked away. “But… Edward would be free after, wouldn’t he…” — “Lida, have you lost your mind? Hoping someone dies for a flat?!” — “I wish nobody anything—but I won’t miss my chance. Easy for you—your life is all roses!” They fell out, hard. Lida only told Sue about her affair with Edward six months later. Not that they could live without each other—but Edward would never leave his wife! That wasn’t the kind of man he was. So, for now, they’d just have their affair. — “So, you two are carrying on, and his dying wife is in the next room?” Sue didn’t approve. “Don’t you see how grim that is? Or do you just see his riches—if he has any at all?” — “I never get a kind word from you!” Lida snapped. They stopped talking, but Lida hardly felt guilty (well… maybe just a little). She cared for Tamara as devotedly as possible. Once the affair began, she also took over everything in the house—because a man needs looking after beyond the bedroom: feeds, clean shirts, ironed things, floors scrubbed, the works. As far as Lida could see, her “lover” was content. And honestly, so was she. She barely noticed that Edward had stopped paying her wages for caring for his wife. But what did money matter when they were “almost married” already? He gave her cash for groceries and she managed the budget, barely realising she was squeezing every penny. His salary, as a foreman, was nothing to sneeze at. But never mind—once they married, it’d be all sorted. Their passion faded, and Edward became less eager to come home, but Lida thought he was just tired from dealing with his sick wife. She couldn’t say how, though he barely visited Tamara daily. Still, she felt sorry for him. Of course, when Tamara finally passed away, Lida cried. She’d spent a year and a half caring for her—not time you could just write off. She handled the funeral arrangements too—Edward was “overwhelmed with grief.” He barely gave her enough for funeral costs, but she made it work, and nobody could fault her. Even the neighbours who frowned on her affair nodded approvingly at the funeral, as did his mother-in-law. The last thing Lida expected was what happened next. — “As you can see, I no longer need your assistance,” Edward said dryly, ten days after the funeral. “So, you’ve a week to move out.” — “What do you mean?” Lida thought she’d misheard him. “Where am I supposed to go? Why?!” — “Oh, spare me the drama,” he grimaced. “What’s not clear? There’s no one for you to care for now. Where you go is not my concern.” — “Ed, what are you doing? We were getting married, weren’t we?” — “You imagined all that. I had no such plans.” The next morning, after a sleepless night, Lida tried to talk to Edward again, but he repeated himself and told her to get a move on. — “My fiancée wants to get the place done up before the wedding,” he let slip. — “Fiancée? Who is she?” — “Not your business.” — “Oh, not my business? Fine. I’ll leave—but first, you pay me for the work I’ve done. Yes! Don’t look at me like that. You promised forty thousand a month and only paid twice. That means you owe me six hundred and forty thousand!” — “Look at you—quick with the numbers!” he sneered. “Dream on.” — “You owe for the cleaning and cooking too! All right—I won’t nitpick. Pay me a million, and we’ll part like ships at sea.” — “And what if I don’t? Ready to go to court? You haven’t even got a contract.” — “I’ll tell Tamsin—your mother-in-law. After all, she gave you this flat. Believe me, if I talk, you’ll lose your job too. You know her better than I do.” Edward paled, but recovered fast. — “Nobody will believe you. Quit the threats. And you know what? I don’t want to see you—get out, now!” — “Three days, darling. No million, there’ll be a scandal,” Lida said, packed her bags, and headed to a hostel. She’d managed to stash a little of the housekeeping money. On the fourth day, when he hadn’t returned her calls, she went back to Edward’s flat. Luckily, Tamsin, the mother-in-law, was there too. Lida could see by Edward’s face he had no intention of paying, so she told Tamsin everything. — “She’s talking nonsense! Delusional! Don’t listen to her!” Edward barked. — “I’d heard rumours at the funeral, but I didn’t believe them,” Tamsin fixed him with a stare. “Now I see. And you remember well, son-in-law, whose name the flat is in?” Edward froze. — “I want you out of here in a week. No—three days.” Tamsin turned to leave but paused. — “And you, young lady—what are you waiting for, a medal? Out!” Lida bolted from the flat, knowing there’d be no payout. Back to the market it was—there was always work there to be found… The Carer for the Wife

We Didn’t Let Our Daughter in the House — Why didn’t you let her in? — Veronica finally asked the question that had haunted her most. — You always have before… Her mother gave a bitter smile. — Because I’m scared for you, Nicky. Do you think we don’t see how you shrink into the corner when your sister barges in at all hours of the night? The way you hide your textbooks so she doesn’t ruin them? She looks at you and gets angry. Angry because you’re normal. You’ve got a future ahead of you, while she lost hers to the bottle a long time ago… Veronica hunched over her open textbook as yet another family row erupted in the next room. Her dad hadn’t even taken his coat off — he stood in the middle of the hallway, clutching his phone and shouting. — Don’t try your tricks on me! — he roared into the receiver. — Where’s it all gone? It’s been two weeks since I was paid! Two weeks, Larissa! Tanya peered out from the kitchen. She listened to her husband’s monologue for a minute, then asked: — Again? Valery just waved her off and put the call on speaker — the sound of sobbing filled the air. Veronica’s older sister had a natural talent for wringing out sympathy, even from a stone. But years of heartbreak had made her parents tough. — What do you mean, “he’s thrown you out”? — Valery paced the narrow corridor. — Good for him. Who’d put up with this drunken mess constantly? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You’re thirty, but look like a beaten dog. Veronica cracked her bedroom door open a few centimetres. — Dad, please… — suddenly the sobs stopped. — He’s chucked my things into the stairwell. I’ve got nowhere to go. It’s raining, it’s cold… Can I come back for a few days? Just to sleep it off. Mum lunged forward to grab the phone but Valery quickly turned away. — No! — he snapped. — You’re not coming near this house. We agreed last time, didn’t we? After you pawned the TV while we were away, the door’s closed to you! — Mum! Tell him! — came the scream through the phone. Tanya covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking. — Larissa, how could you… — was all she could manage, not looking at her husband. — We took you to the doctor. You promised. They said that last treatment would last for three years. You couldn’t even go a month! — Those treatments are a joke! — Larissa snapped back, her tone shifting from pleading to aggressive. — They just want your money! I feel awful! I’m burning up inside, I can’t breathe! And you’re still on about the TV… Like he’s more bothered about it than me! I’ll buy you a new one! — With what money? — Valery stopped and stared at a spot on the wall. — With what, when you’ve wasted it all? Borrowed off your boozy mates again? Or nicked something from your latest boyfriend? — Doesn’t matter! — Larissa shouted. — Dad, I’ve got nowhere to go! Do you want me to sleep under a bridge? — Try a homeless shelter. Go wherever you want — father’s voice was now frighteningly calm. — You’re not coming here. I’ll change the locks if I see you at the door. Veronica sat on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Usually in moments like these, when her sister made their parents furious, the anger would rebound and hit Veronica instead. — And what are you sitting there for? On your phone again? Gonna end up just like your sister — useless! — the sort of thing she’d heard for three years. But today, they’d forgotten her. Nobody yelled, nobody blamed her. Dad hung up, changed and he and mum went to the kitchen. Veronica crept into the corridor. — Val, we can’t do this, — her mum sobbed. — She’ll get lost completely. You know how she is when she’s in that state. She can’t control herself. — And I should have to? — her father slammed down the kettle. — I’m fifty-five, Tanya. I just want to come home and sink into my chair. I don’t want to sleep with my wallet under my pillow! Or have the neighbours telling me they saw her with shady blokes and mouthing off! — She’s our daughter, — her mother said quietly. — She was our daughter till she was twenty. Now she’s just something tearing our lives apart. She’s an alcoholic, Tanya. You can’t fix that if she doesn’t want it. And she doesn’t. She likes that life. Wake up, find a drink, pass out! The phone rang again. They went still for a second, and then Dad answered. — Hello. — Dad… — it was Larissa again. — I’m sitting at the train station. The police keep coming through, they’ll take me in if I stay here. Please… — Listen to me, — Dad cut her off. — You’re not coming home. That’s final. — So you want me to top myself then? — there was a challenge in Larissa’s voice. — Want the morgue to ring you? Veronica froze. That was always Larissa’s ace — when nothing else worked. It used to do the trick. Mum would start crying, Dad would clutch his chest, and her sister would get cash, a warm bed, food, a bath. But today, Dad didn’t fall for it. — Don’t threaten us, — he said. — You love yourself too much for that. Here’s what’s going to happen. — What? — a flicker of hope in Larissa’s voice. — I’ll find you a room to rent. Cheapest I can, out near the ring road. I’ll pay for the first month and get you some groceries. That’s it. After that — you’re on your own. Find a job, sort yourself out — you’ll get by. If not — after a month, you’re back on the street and I won’t lose sleep. — A room? Not a flat? Dad, I can’t live alone. I’m scared. And what if I get dodgy neighbours? And how am I supposed to make do with nothing? I don’t even have bedding — that bastard kept it! — Mum’ll pack some up in a holdall. We’ll leave it with the concierge — you can pick it up. Don’t try coming back here. — You’re monsters! — Larissa screeched. — Putting your own daughter in a hovel! While you sit comfy in a three-bed and I have to creep about like a rat! Mum couldn’t take it. She snatched the phone. — Shut up, Larissa! — she shouted so fiercely that Veronica jumped. — Listen to your father! This is your last chance. Room or the street. Choose now — tomorrow it’ll be too late even for the room! The line went quiet. — Fine, — Larissa muttered at last. — Text me the address. And send some money… I’m hungry. — No money, — Valery replied flatly. — I’ll put food in the bag. I know what you really spend cash on. He hung up. Veronica decided it was time to face the music. She tiptoed into the kitchen for a “drink of water.” She braced herself for the usual blow-up. Dad would look at her T-shirt and call her a slob. Mum would have a go — with everything going on, how could she just mooch about like nothing mattered? But they didn’t look her way. — Veronica, — her mum called softly. — Yes, Mum? — There are some old sheets and pillowcases on the top shelf in the cupboard. Get them down and pack them in the blue sports bag in the utility room. — Okay, Mum. Veronica set off to do as she was told. She found the bag, tipped out the junk. She couldn’t get her head around it: how would Larissa cope on her own? She couldn’t even boil pasta, and her drinking… Veronica knew her sister wouldn’t last two days without a bottle. Veronica clambered onto a stool, rummaging for linen. — Don’t forget towels! — Dad called from the kitchen. — Already packed them, — Veronica answered. She saw her dad stalk out to the hall, pull on his boots and leave with barely a word. Off to find that “hovel”, she guessed. Veronica wandered back to the kitchen. Her mum was sitting just as before. — Mum, do you want a tablet? — Veronica asked gently. Her mum looked up. — You know, Nick… — she began in a strange, colourless voice. — When she was a little girl, I thought she’d grow up and be my helper. We’d talk about everything. Now I just pray she remembers the address for that room. Just pray she gets there… — She’ll manage, — Veronica perched on the edge of a chair. — She always manages. — Not this time, — her mum shook her head. — There’s nothing in her eyes now. Just emptiness. Like only her shell is left, always needing another fix. I see how scared you are of her… Veronica fell silent. She’d always thought her parents never noticed her fear — that they were too busy saving “lost cause” Larissa. — I thought you didn’t care about me, — she whispered. Her mum stroked her hair. — Of course we care. But we’re out of strength. You know what they say on a plane? Put your own mask on first, then help your child. We tried to put the mask on her for ten years. Ten years, Nick! We tried everything. Hypnosis, healers, pricey clinics. In the end… we nearly suffocated ourselves. There was a ring at the door. Veronica jumped. — Is it her? — she asked, frightened. — No, your father’s got keys. It’s probably the supermarket delivery. Veronica got the door. The delivery man handed her two heavy bags. She carted them to the kitchen and began unpacking. Groceries, tinned food, tea, sugar. Nothing extra. — She won’t eat this, — Veronica said, laying aside a bag of rice. — She likes ready meals. — If she wants to live, she’ll cook, — her mum snapped. That old steel was back in her voice. — No more spoiling her. We’ll kill her with our sympathy. An hour later her dad dragged himself back in, looking spent. — Found it, — he said briefly. — Got the keys. Landlady’s a strict old lady — retired teacher. Said if there’s any booze or trouble, she’ll turf her out no questions asked. I told her: “Go ahead, do it early.” — Oh, Valery… — her mother sighed. — What? Tired of lying. People deserve the truth. He grabbed the packed bag, seized the grocery bags, and headed out. — I’ll leave it all with the concierge. I’ll call her, tell her where to pick it up. Veronica, deadbolt the door after me. If she calls on the house phone — don’t answer. Dad left, and Mum hid in the kitchen and broke down. Veronica’s heart was aching. How could it come to this? She didn’t even live, just drifted from one drink to the next, ruining her own life and her parents’… *** Her parents’ hopes were dashed. A week later the landlady called Valery — the lodger had been turfed out along with the police. Larissa had brought three men back and partied all night. And once again, her parents couldn’t turn their back — Larissa was taken to rehab. A closed clinic this time — a proper one, locked and guarded — they promised to cure her in a year. Who knows? Maybe this time there really will be a miracle…

011

My Husband’s Family Invited Themselves to Our Holiday Cottage for Christmas Break, but I Refused to Hand Over the Keys — “So, we had a little chat and decided there’s no sense letting your cottage sit empty! We’ll take the kids there for the Christmas holidays—fresh air, nice big hill, and we’ll even heat up the sauna. Len, you’re always working anyway, and Vitya needs a break, though he insists he’d rather catch up on sleep. So give us the keys, we’ll pop round first thing tomorrow.” Svetlana, my husband’s sister, was shrieking down the phone so forcefully I had to hold it away from my ear. I stood in the middle of my kitchen, drying a plate, trying to get my head around what I’d just heard. The brazenness of my husband’s family was already a running joke, but this was a new level. “Hold on, Svet,” I said slowly, doing my best to keep the irritation out of my voice. “How did you come to this decision, exactly? With whom? The cottage isn’t a public park or a holiday camp. It’s our home—mine and Vitya’s. And we were planning on spending the holidays there ourselves.” She scoffed. “Oh, get over yourself! You were planning, honestly! Vitya told Mum you’d be spending Christmas at home, watching telly. You’ve got loads of space—two floors! We won’t bother you if you do decide to turn up, but honestly, best not—our crowd gets noisy. Gena’s inviting mates, barbecue, music—know what I mean? You and your books would just get bored.” My cheeks burned. I instantly pictured Gena’s rowdy mates, his taste for loud music and cheap spirits; their two teenagers who treated “no” as a foreign language; and my poor cottage—my pride, my savings for five years—turned upside-down. “No, Svet,” I said firmly. “You’ll get no keys from me. The place isn’t ready for guests. The heating system’s complicated, the septic’s temperamental, and I’m not having a load of strangers trashing my sanctuary.” “We’re strangers now, are we?” she squealed, finally pausing her chewing. “Your husband’s actual sister! And your own nephews! You’ve turned into a right cold cow with all that accountancy. I’ll tell Mum how you treat family!” The line went dead. I set the phone down, my fingers trembling. I knew this wasn’t over—soon Nina Petrovna, my notorious mother-in-law, would arrive with an ultimatum. Viktor came in moments later, trying to wrap an arm round me. “Len, bit harsh, wasn’t it? Svet’s a pest, but family’s family. They’ll be hurt.” I shook off his arm. The exhaustion and resolve in my eyes stopped him short. “Vitya, remember last May?” He winced. “I suppose…” “Suppose?” I snapped. “They came for a weekend ‘barbecue.’ They snapped Dad’s old apple tree, burned a hole in the front-room carpet with a coal, left mountains of filthy dishes with congealed grease—Svet claimed her manicure was too precious, said ‘You’ve got a dishwasher’, then stuffed it with food-covered crockery and blocked the drain! Remember the smashed vase? The trampled peonies?” “They were… just kids. Playing,” Viktor mumbled, examining the lino. “Kids? Your nephew’s fifteen, Vitya, your niece is thirteen! They’re hardly toddlers. They turned the sauna into a bonfire and almost burned the place down! And you’d let them in alone? In winter?” “They promised they’d behave… Gena said he’d watch them.” “Gena will only watch the vodka bottle. No, Vitya. I won’t budge. That cottage is my home, legally and otherwise. I spent my inheritance to fix it up. I know every timber. I’m not letting it become a pigsty.” We spent an evening in stubborn silence. Viktor tried (and failed) to watch telly, then retreated to the bedroom. I nursed a lukewarm tea and remembered scraping paint off pine logs with my bare hands. That house was more than a cottage; it was a dream, my sanctuary. Viktor’s lot saw it as a ‘free resort.’ Next morning, the bell rang. Through the peephole, I saw Nina Petrovna in her best mink hat, lips scarlet, clutching a massive carrier bag with a slab of frozen salmon poking out. “Open up, Lena! We need to talk!” she barked, ignoring basic greetings. She swept into the hallway like a ship in stormy waters. Viktor darted out but was met with a withering look: “Can’t a mother visit her son without an appointment? Put the kettle on. And fetch my valerian—I haven’t slept in two nights, thanks to you two.” At the table, she went straight for the jugular. “Now, what’s all this about? Why won’t you give Svetochka the keys? Genuine family—your husband’s sister—just asking to take the kids to the cottage for the holidays. There’s renovation dust everywhere in their flat. Your palace is sitting empty. Is it really so hard, Lena?” “Nina Petrovna,” I replied calmly, meeting her stare, “It’s not a palace—it’s a house that needs looking after. Svetlana’s ‘renovation’ has dragged on for five years. That’s no excuse to seize our property. And to be honest, I remember their last visit all too well. I still can’t get the smell of smoke out of the curtains, even though I asked them not to light up indoors.” “Oh, so they smoked, big deal!” she threw up her hands. “You care more about your things than about people. That’s materialism, Lena! We raised Vitya to be generous, not a skinflint. You can’t take the cottage to your grave, you know!” “Mum, Lena really poured her heart into that place…” said Viktor, in a rare show of courage. “Be quiet! Are you a man or a doormat? You let your wife run the show while your own sister and her kids freeze? Gena’s 45th is on the third—they’ve bought the steaks, invited half their mates. You’d have them humiliated in front of everyone?” “That’s not my problem,” I said coolly, “if they planned a party in someone else’s house without asking. That’s just rude, Nina Petrovna.” She paled with fury. Normally her sheer force flattened opposition—especially soft-touch Viktor. But I was no pushover. “Rude, is it? I took you in like a daughter, and you… Vitya, hear how she talks to me? If you don’t hand over the keys this instant, I swear I’ll curse that cottage. You’ll never see me there again!” “You don’t like the garden anyway,” I muttered. “You snake!” She shot to her feet, toppling her chair. “Vitya, give me the keys! I’ll pass them to Svet myself. Are you the man of this house, or what?” Viktor, torn in two, shrank under her glare. He remembered what it was like patching the porch after Gena’s last blunder with the barbecue… “Mum, Lena’s got the keys. We might go ourselves, anyway.” “Liar!” she snapped. “Fine—Svet will be here first thing. The keys had better be left out, along with instructions for the boiler, or you’re no son of mine. And you,” she jabbed at me, “will remember this day. The world goes round, Lena.” She stormed out. For a while, only the tick of the kitchen clock dared disturb the silence. “You’re not really giving them the keys, are you?” Viktor asked softly. “No. In fact, Vitya, tomorrow we head to the cottage ourselves. Early. The only way to keep them out is to actually be there. Your sister would climb in through the window if she decided she ‘needed’ to. This way, she’ll have to turn back.” “…This is war, Len.” “No. This is border control. Pack your things.” We left at dawn. London was magical in the frost, but we weren’t in festive spirits. Viktor fidgeted with his muted phone the whole way. When we got out, the cottage—pretty, warm, snow-topped—was a postcard. I breathed in relief. By noon, there were fairy lights, scent of pine, and mandarins in the air. Viktor, clearing the drive, found a rare contentment. I could see it. At three, trouble struck: cars sounding at the gate. Gena’s Jeep and another car, their whole lot spilling out: Svet, Gena, the teens, some random friends, and a huge Rottweiler without a muzzle. And of course, Nina Petrovna, looming like a general. Viktor hovered, shovel in hand; I pulled on my boots and went to the door. They yelled, rattled the latch, banged on the gate: “Let us in! Surprise! Might as well celebrate together since you’re here!” Hand on Viktor’s shoulder, I said, “We weren’t expecting guests—go celebrate elsewhere.” Svet scoffed and Gena waved a crate of vodka. “Come on, don’t be such a princess. We’ll be good…” “Keep your dog out of my garden!” I snapped as it lifted a leg on my topiary. “Oh, it’s only a tree!” Svet squealed. “Toilets are at the petrol station, five miles that way,” I said crisply. “This place is occupied. We’re here to relax. There’s no room for a party of ten plus a dog.” They stared, slow on the uptake—they’d expected their usual ambush tactic to work, especially with their matriarch in tow. “What, you’re keeping us out in the cold?” Nina Petrovna shrieked. “Vitya, say something!” Viktor, eyes pleading, looked at me. “If you open that gate,” I said levelly, “it’ll be an all-night booze-up. Dog will wreck the flowerbeds, kids will trash the upstairs, your sister will boss me around in my own kitchen, and Gena will chain-smoke all night. Our holiday—ruined. Is that what you want? Or do you want a peaceful Christmas with me? Your call, now.” Viktor turned to the mob at the gate—Gena kicking his tyres, Svet yelling, the kids pelting the house with snowballs, Nina Petrovna clutching her chest in operatic anguish. He straightened, walked to the gate and said—not loudly, but steady: “Mum, Svet. Lena’s right. We already said no keys. Turn around, please.” “What?!” they chorused. “You heard. This is my home too. I don’t want your circus here. Go.” Gena growled, trying to reach through the bars. “You… I’ll—” “Leave, Gena,” Viktor gripped the shovel. “Or I’ll call the police. This estate has private security.” “Strangers, are we now?!” Nina Petrovna gasped. “We’re off, then!” yelled Svet, yanking her family away. “You pair are mad! We’ll go to Tolyan’s place—proper people, even if it’s half-finished!” Engines revved. The motley crew trundled away, Svet flashing a rude sign. Silence returned, broken only by their dog’s signature ‘gift’ on my evergreen. Viktor sank onto the porch steps, head in hands. “God, the shame… my own mother…” I sat beside him. “It’s not shame, Vitya. It’s finally growing up. You stood up for us—our family, not theirs.” “She’ll never forgive me.” “She will—as soon as she wants something. That’s how they are. But they’ll know the boundary now.” “You think so?” “I know so. If not, at least we’ll have peace. Let’s get inside—I’ll make some mulled wine.” Inside, I drew the curtains, shutting out the cold and the past. That night was quiet and warm—companionable, not bitter. Three days of bliss—walks, steak-for-two, sauna, books. The phones stayed silent in family boycott. On January third, as predicted, Svet sent Viktor a photo—not an apology but a boast: bleak shed, battered stove, vodka and rowdy faces. “We’re having a ball without you—jealous?” I glanced at swollen-faced Gena in the mess, then at my husband, serene and dozing by the fire. “Nothing to envy, Svet,” I whispered, deleting the message. A week later, Nina Petrovna called—icily polite, asking Viktor to run her to the GP and mentioning the cottage not at all. The boundary was set. There’d be skirmishes yet, but our little fortress stood. And I realised: sometimes you have to be “bad” for others to stay true to yourself and protect your own. The cottage keys now live safe and sound—tucked away in my safe, just in case.

019