Dont Dwell on the Past
Sarah often found herself reflecting on her life, especially after celebrating her fiftieth birthday. She couldnt truthfully call her marriage a happy one, largely due to her husband, Henry. They had married for love in their youth, both head over heels, and she missed the moment when he began to change.
They lived in a village, sharing the family cottage with Henrys mother, Margaret. Sarah tried to keep the peace at home and always treated Margaret with respect; in return, Margaret was warm and kind. Sarahs own mother lived in a nearby village with her younger son. She was in poor health, and Sarah worried for her.
Margaret, how do you manage with your daughter-in-law, Sarah? the local women would ask at the market or the post office, always eager for a bit of gossip.
I cant say a bad word about her; shes respectful, clever with household chores, runs things well, and helps me with everything, Margaret would reply.
Oh, we dont believe for a minute its all sunshine! Since when do mothers-in-law praise daughters-in-law? We dont buy it! the neighbours would laugh.
Thats your business, Margaret would say, carrying on with her shopping.
Sarah gave birth to a daughter, Lucy, and everyone was delighted.
Sarah, little Lucy looks just like me! Margaret would claim, searching for similarities, while Sarah laughed, happy simply that her daughter was healthy, regardless of whom she resembled.
When Lucy turned three, Sarah had a son, Samuel. More joyful fuss followed. Henry kept working, Sarah stayed home with the children, and Margaret helped out wonderfully. Things were calm, perhaps better than most; Henry didnt drink like many of the other husbands, whod have to be hauled back from the pub, barely able to stand, amidst their wives furious scoldings.
Soon Sarah was expecting her third child when she learned that Henry was unfaithful. Nothing stays secret in a village, and word about Henry and widowed Pauline travelled fast. Neighbour Carol didnt hesitate to inform Sarah.
Sarah, youre carrying Henrys third child, and hes running off with other women, Carol said bluntly.
Oh really? I havent noticed anythinghe seems fine to me, Sarah said, surprised.
No wonder. Youve two little ones, a third on the way, the house, your mother-in-law, the chores. He just does as he pleases. Everyone knows about them, and Pauline doesnt even hide it, Carol shook her head.
Sarah was troubled; Margaret knew too but stayed silent, not wanting to cause her more pain. Shed often scolded her wayward son, but Henry would brush it off:
Mum, you dont know what youre talking about. You always listen to womens gossip.
One evening Carol appeared again in a swirl of agitation.
Sarah, I just saw Henry slip into Paulines garden as I walked back from the shop! Do you want to be stuck with three children and no husband? March right over there and have it out with her. Youre pregnant; Henry wouldnt dare touch you, she urged.
Sarah couldnt imagine fighting Pauline, especially knowing her history; feisty and quarrelsome, Pauline was hardened by a rough life, her husband drowned while drunk. Thinking it through, Sarah decided to confront Henry instead.
Ill talk with Henry, try to get the truth out of him. Hell never admit it, always claims its just womens gossip, she told Margaret, who tried to dissuade her.
Sarah, youre expecting. Think of yourself
It was late autumn, already dark. Sarah knocked on Paulines window, waiting nervously. Paulines voice called out from behind the door.
What do you want, banging on my windows?
Open up. I know Henrys with youpeople have told me, Sarah said loudly.
Go home, dont make a fool of yourself, Pauline laughed from inside.
Sarah lingered, knowing Pauline wouldnt let her in, then walked home. Henry came back after midnight, tipsyhe seldom drank, but tonight he had.
Where were you? I know you were with Pauline. I came round and she wouldnt let me in you know exactly what Im talking about, Sarah confronted him.
What are you on about? Henry snapped. I wasnt there; I was with Tom at the pub. Lost track of time.
Sarah didnt believe him but chose to say nothing, unwilling to cause a row. After all, innocent till proven guilty. She lay awake thinking:
Where would I go with two little ones and a third on the way? Mums ill, and my brothers family is bursting at the seams. Theres no room for us.
Sarahs mother always gave the same advice when she complained about Henrys cheating.
Endure it, dear. You chose to marry, youve had your children, so endure. Do you think it was easy living with your father? He drank like a fish and drove us to hide at neighbours houses. God took him in the end, but I put up with it. At least your Henry isnt a heavy drinker and keeps his hands to himself. Women have always had to endure.
Sarah didnt agree with everything her mother said, but realised she couldnt leave Henry. Margaret comforted her, too.
Where would you go with the children? Soon the third will be born. Well manage together with Henry.
Their third child, Daisy, arrived frail and often illperhaps Sarahs stress during pregnancy had taken its toll. With time, Daisy grew calm, especially as Margaret lavished care on her.
Sarah, did you hear? Paulines taken in Mikehis wife threw him out, Carol gossiped one morning, her words flitting around the village like a sparrow.
She can do as she pleases. Thats her business, Sarah replied, relieved that Henry wouldnt be visiting Pauline soon.
A month later, Carol came sprinting back.
Mikes left Pauline, gone back to his wife. Now Pauline will be hunting again. You keep Henry closeshell have her claws out soon, she warned.
Peace returned to Sarah and Henrys household; Margaret was glad. But temptation lingered for Henry. On her way home from the supermarket, Margaret ran into her old friend, Sally.
Margaret, whatevers got into your Henry? Sarahs lovely, you always say shes a wonderful wife and motherwhat more does he want?
What are you getting at, Sally? Has Henry been up to his old tricks again?
Hes still at it, sneaking about. What does he need at home? Hes got it easymeals made, clothes washed, everything just so. Hes seeing Veronica, the divorcee from the canteen
Margaret didnt tell Sarah, scolded Henry privately, urging him to see sense. But secrets dont stay hidden. Sarah learned of Henrys wandering courtesy of Carol. Tears and pleading didnt change anything. Henry never planned on leavinghe couldnt abandon his family, but he didnt remain faithful either. The arrangement suited him: wife, kids, mother, all comforts at home; a distraction elsewhere.
Margaret openly berated him, but grown men seldom heed ageing mothers. Henry shouted back, telling her to mind her own business.
I work hard for this family, bring in money, and you both blame me. You believe a pack of silly rumours.
Years slipped by. The children grew up. Lucy married and settled nearby after college. Samuel qualified from university and wed a local girl as well. The youngest, Daisy, was finishing school and aiming for the city college. Henry finally calmed down, spending his days with work and home, now lounging on the sofa as his health faltered. He stopped drinking altogether, though hed never been excessive even before.
Sarah, my hearts playing up; feels like its stabbing my back, or, Sarah, my knees ache, what does that meanarthritis? He moaned, Maybe I should see the doctor.
Sarah found it hard to pity him. Her heart had hardened long ago after so many tears and disappointments.
His health is failing; now hes stuck at home whining, Sarah thought, Let him go cry to those former lovers. Let them take care of him now.
Margaret had passed away and was buried next to her husband. The house was quiet, just Sarah and Henry. Sometimes the children and grandchildren visited, bringing life and cheer. Henry would complain to them about his ailments and accuse Sarah of neglect.
Lucy brought medicines and fussed over him. She said to her mother, Mum, dont be harsh on Dad, hes not well, which stung Sarahher daughter had taken his side.
Hes only got himself to blame, Sarah tried to explain, His wild younger days have caught up with him. Im not made of steel either; I lost my health with all the worry over him.
Samuel always tried to encourage Henry on his visits, chatting to him more than to Sarahperhaps thats just how men are.
It seemed to Sarah the children didnt quite understand the sacrifices shed made, enduring Henrys betrayal for their sake. Leaving him would have left them fatherless, something she couldnt bear. But when she tried to explain, they told her:
Mum, stop digging up the pastdont upset Dad, Lucy would say, with Samuel always agreeing.
Mum, its all behind us now, hed reassure her, patting her shoulder.
Though it stung a little that her children sided with Henry, Sarah understood. She didnt hold it against them; life goes on.
In the end, Sarah realised that holding onto old sorrows only weighed her down. The past is a chapter that teaches but shouldnt trap us. Sometimes, true strength is letting go so that peace can settle, and the future can unfold with hope.












