While mums fill up online forums with questions about what to pack in the first aid kit and whether theyll be allowed to take the pram into the cabin, other holidaymakers prepare for their journeys somewhat tentatively by comparison. For quite some time now, things have become straightforwardor so we thought. Once upon a time, if anyone dared shame mumblers who firmly believed children should be cherished, they were quickly put in their place. But these days, airlines are being asked to create almost separate child-friendly sections to keep passengers apart. How did we end up here?
Wishing you a pleasant flight!
When exactly did it become trendy not to tuck away life after having a child? You go back to work, keep up a social life, attend events, and travel as much as you wishno matter how young your little one is. Our mothers never lived such extravagant lives, nor did they ever consider it an option. Its hard to imagine a mum with a baby in a restaurant during the 1960s, for exampleor even a decade or two later. That would have been the height of fortune, and its understandable why.
No matter how much one wants to pretend otherwise, travelling long distances with a child is rather stressful for both parents and their little ones. To keep everyone comfortable, theres no shortcut except trying your best. Many, though, arent keen on the effort. The moment a holiday begins, adults immediately slip into relaxation mode and leave children to their own devices. As a result, everyone is left at the mercy of those around them.
And, lets be honest, everyone prefers to travel in comfort. No one wishes to spend even two hours in noise and chaos, especially when youve forked out such a handsome sum for a ticket. Its not unusual for passengers to complain even about the legroom, desperate for a bit of space to stretch out. And what becomes of this space when a five-year-old is behind, busily testing how far the seat reclines? To my recollection, no one ever responds to this with a smile or encourages the childs antics.
The vanishing nursery.
Once, I tried to be as understanding as possible. When a lady with a baby barely a year old settled next to me, I drew a deep breath and braced myself. But that wasnt allthe family also included several children, scattered in front, behind and beside me, sprawling their belongings, talking over each other, sharing bottles and dummies by the row. My only viable option was to be unofficially adopted. Frankly, it was rather unpleasant. I was asked to hold this and that without so much as a please, and came close to being splashed with boiling water from a flask more than once. Smashing. There was nowhere to go; short of leaping from the window, I was stuck.
Then there was that time on a train. I witnessed a mother with her four-year-old daughter working tirelessly for all twenty-six hours we rattled along the tracks. The mother was clearly doing everything possible to keep her little one from bothering the other passengers. Yet what was the outcome? For the entire journey it was, Darling, shall we walk here?; Sweetheart, lets go over there!; Shall we look out the window?; Lets draw!followed by forty minutes of lively picture-making, with every coloured pencil in sight, and detailed discussions about what sort of puppies and kittens should be drawn. It was hard to say what was more exhausting.
It becomes difficult, after experiences like these, not to wish every parent would just stay at home until their children were older. Of course, if youre fortunate enough to have the sort of child who can quietly colour for three hours straight, or who drifts off to sleep, face-first into an unfinished dog picture, thats perfectly fine. Yet, do such children really exist?
This is to say nothing of the infants who wail during take-off and landing, and sometimes throughout the entire journey. Where once there might have been one baby on boardif anynow, youll likely have three or five, plus their boisterous siblings dashing up and down the aisle. You exit a cabin like that with the same urgency as the planes landing.
Now, I must be clear: I am not what youd call childfree. Ive done my share of travelling with a small child, though in all honesty, only out of necessity. I simply dont have the nerves to both look after a child and enjoy a holiday. I only started taking trips again once my child was old enough to understand Sit properly, dont touch anything, andif need beobey strict instructions. Really, that meant sitting quietly, maybe colouring in, but certainly without fuss. But not everyone thinks like this; some parents come armed with an entire arsenal of developmental tasks, running about, as if constant activity is all that matters for a growing child.
In the end, perhaps wed all get on a bit better if we remembered that life, with or without children, requires a little consideration for those around us. After all, its not about whether you travel as a parent or notbut about the kind of fellow traveller you choose to be.
