Do I Remember? Impossible to Forget! “Polly, we need to talk… So, do you remember my illegitimate daughter, Annie?” My husband spoke in riddles—always a bad sign. “Hmm… Do I remember? I could never forget! Why?” I sat down, bracing myself for trouble. “I hardly know how to tell you… Annie is begging us to take in her daughter—my granddaughter,” he mumbled, not meeting my eyes. “Oh, and why exactly, Alex? Where’s Annie’s husband? Run off, has he?” I was intrigued in spite of myself. “You see, Annie doesn’t have long to live. There’s never been a husband. Her mother moved abroad ages ago—remarried to an American. They haven’t spoken in years. Annie’s alone. That’s why she’s turning to us,” Alex shuffled his feet, looking embarrassed. “So? What do you plan to do?” I’d already made up my own mind. “I’m asking you, Polly. Whatever you say, that’s what I’ll do,” Alex finally looked at me. “How convenient. You made your mistakes, Alex, and now you want me to take responsibility for someone else’s child?” My husband’s helplessness infuriated me. “Polly, we’re a family. We have to decide together,” Alex tried to plead his case. “Oh, now you remember I’m your wife! Where was this ‘togetherness’ when you were sleeping with that girl?” Tears welled up and I fled the room. …Back at school, I was seeing my classmate Victor when Alex transferred in. I was smitten from the start. I quickly broke it off with Victor. When Alex noticed me, he started walking me home, giving me stolen flowers, and soon enough—we ended up in bed. I was completely in love. We finished school, and Alex was called up for military service in another city. We exchanged letters for a year before he came home on leave. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. Alex swore up and down that he’d marry me as soon as he returned for good. After those words, I melted every time he looked at me—it was true love. But six months later, a letter arrived: Alex had met “his true love” at the army base and wouldn’t be coming back. And there I was—pregnant, alone, abandoned at the altar. As my grandmother used to say: “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” …When my son, John, was born, Victor, my old classmate, came back into my life and offered to help. Out of desperation, I accepted. Our relationship turned romantic, but I never forgot Alex. Then, suddenly, he reappeared. Victor answered the door. Alex looked surprised to see him but wanted to come in. Victor reluctantly agreed. John, sensing something was up, clung to Victor for dear life, but I sent them out for a walk. “Were you married to him?” Alex asked jealously. “Why do you care? What do you want?” I snapped. “I missed you. But I see you have a family now. I’ll go,” Alex started to leave. “Wait, Alex. Tell me honestly—why are you here?” I tried to hold him back. My feelings were still there. “I came back for you, Polly. Will you take me back?” Alex looked hopeful. “Come on in—we’re about to eat,” I replied, my heart pounding. He was back. And that was all that mattered. Victor was sent packing once and for all. My John would have his real father, not a stepdad. Later, Victor married a lovely woman with two children of her own. …Over the years, Alex never really took to John—he assumed he wasn’t his own. Alex’s heart never warmed to him. To tell the truth, Alex was a hopeless philanderer, always swept up in new affairs. He cheated on me left and right—with friends, acquaintances, anyone. I wept, but I never stopped loving him. Oddly, loving him made life easier for me. The one who loves is always the happiest. I never had to lie or pretend, I just loved. He was my sun. Sometimes I wanted to leave, but each night I told myself: Where would I go? No one would ever replace him, and Alex would be lost without me. I was his lover, wife, and mother rolled into one. …Alex lost his own mother at fourteen—she died in her sleep. Maybe that’s why he searched for affection elsewhere. I forgave everything, always. Once, our rows were so fierce that I kicked him out. He left to stay with family. A month later, long after I’d forgotten the argument, Alex still hadn’t returned. I had no choice but to visit his aunt. “Polly, why do you want him back? He said you’d divorced, he’s got a new girlfriend now,” she told me. From Alex’s aunt, I got the address, and went to see the new woman. “Good afternoon! Is Alex in?” I smiled as politely as I could. She gave me a smug look and slammed the door in my face. I walked away in silence. …A year later, Alex came back. The “new woman” had had a daughter, Annie. I’ve always blamed myself for kicking him out—all that followed would never have happened otherwise. From that moment on, I loved Alex even more fiercely, hoping to keep our family together. Alex and I never spoke of his illegitimate daughter, Annie. The very thought threatened to topple our fragile peace. Safer to keep the lid on. A child with some other woman? Stranger things have happened. But why do women always prey on other people’s husbands? That’s how life went on. Over the years, Alex settled down. The flings stopped. He spent his evenings at home, watching TV. Our son John married young and gave us three beautiful grandchildren. And now? All these years later, Annie has reappeared, asking us to take in her little girl. You have to wonder—how do you explain to John the arrival of a half-sister’s daughter? He knows nothing of his father’s wild youth. …Of course, we became legal guardians to five-year-old Alice. Annie died at thirty, her time cut short. Life goes on anyway. Alex sat John down “man to man” and confessed. Our son listened and concluded: “Whatever happened is in the past. I’m not here to judge. We have to take in the girl. She’s family.” Alex and I breathed easier. We raised a good boy, one with a heart. …Now Alice is sixteen. She adores Grandpa Alex, shares all her secrets with him, calls me “Nan” and swears she looks just like I did at her age. I agree wholeheartedly…

DO I REMEMBER? HOW COULD I FORGET?

Polly, theres something I need to talk to you about My husband, Alex, started in that strange, roundabout way men use when somethings wrong, you know? It put me right on edge.

Oh, do I remember? How could I possibly forget! I replied, planting myself on the kitchen chair, expecting the worst. What is it?

Alex looked like hed rather be anywhere else. Well, you remember my daughter from before we got married, Amy?

My eyebrow shot up. Go on I was curious now, couldnt help it.

He shuffled his feet. Amys asking if we can take in her little girl That is, my granddaughter, he mumbled.

And why, pray tell, would we do that, Alex? Wheres Amys husband, then? Run off with the circus? I was half-joking, half-dead serious, utterly intrigued.

Alex sighed. Amy isnt Shes not got long left, love. Her bloke was never in the picture, and her mums gone off and married someone in America. They havent spoken in years after a massive row. Shes got no one else, and shes begging us to take her girl

He avoided my eyes. I pressed on. So, what do you want to do?

Im asking you, he said, finally looking at me. Whatever you say, well do. I mean it, Polly.

Typical, isnt it? I burst out. So you made a mess in your youth and now expect me to clean up after you and look after a child thats not mine? Honestly, Alex, sometimes I wonder

He tried to console me, But Polly, were a family. We make these decisions together

Oh, so now Im part of the team! Where was my vote back when you were out galivanting about? Do you remember you have a wife?

Next thing I knew, I was in tears, storming out of the room before he could say another word.

—

Back in school, I used to go out with my classmate, Gary. But then this new lad, Sam, joined our year and I forgot Gary even existed. I ended things with Gary before you could blink. Sam started walking me home, pecking my cheek, even pinching flowers from the park to hand to me. It wasnt even a week before we ducked out together and, well, you know. I was utterly besotted.

We finished A-levels and Sam was called to the army, posted off to another city. I was heartbroken seeing him off at the train platform, sobbing my heart out. For a year we wrote letters, then one day he came home on leave. I nearly burst with excitement every time he looked my way.

He swore undying love to me: Polly, Ill be back in a year. Well get married. Honestly, I already think of you as my wife, he said, all charming. I was just swept away by it all, head over heels… Thats how it always was with Alex: hed look at me in that sweet way and Id melt like ice cream in July.

He left again, and I waited for him, convinced I was as good as engaged. Half a year later, I got a letter. Sam wrote that we should call it a day; hed found real love at the barracks and wasnt coming home.

Only I was already carrying his child. So much for wedding bells! Like Grandma always said, Dont count your chickens before they hatch.

Time came, and my son, Jack, was born. I have to say, Garythe exhelped out a lot. I didnt have many options, so I let him. And, yes, we got close again. I really thought Sam was gone for good.

Then, out of the blue, he showed up again. Gary answered the door, and there stood Sam.

Mind if I come in? Sam asked, obviously surprised.

Bit late for tea, but alright, Gary muttered, letting him through.

Little Jack, sensing the tension, started crying and clung to Garys leg.

Gary, could you take Jack for a walk? I asked, torn and unsure.

Gary took Jack out, and Sam, as jealous as ever, asked, So, is he your husband now?

Why do you care? What are you doing here? I snapped.

I missed you, thats all. Looks like youre settled now, Polly. Got your own family… You didnt wait for me. Well, sorry I disturbed your little domestic bliss. He turned to leave.

Hold on, Sam! Why, then, have you come back? What do you wantjust to stir things up? Gary helps me with Jack, your son, by the way.

I came back for you, Polly. Will you take me back?

My heart did a little leap. Come in, lets have some lunch, I said, feeling that old flutter. Hed come back, he hadnt forgotten me after all.

Poor Gary got sent packing again. Jack needed his real dad, not a stand-in. Gary went on to marry a lovely woman with two kids of her own.

—

Years rolled by. Yet, Alex (Sam) never warmed to Jack the way a dad should. He always kept Jack at arms length, convinced he was Garys. I could feel it in my bonesAlexs heart just wasnt in it. Truth be told, Sam was always something of a ladies man. Hed fall for someone at the drop of a hat and move on just as quick. Hed been with half my friendssometimes even friends of friends! I cried myself silly but didnt stop loving him. To me, Alex was the sun, and sometimes thats enough.

Perhaps it was easier for me, loving him, than it was for him to live with all his lies. I forgave him for everything, even when I probably shouldnt have. Once, after a big row, I kicked him out. He went to stay with his relatives.

A month passed and Id forgotten why wed fought, but he didnt come back. Eventually, I trailed over to his aunts. She was surprised. Polly, why bother with Alex? He told us youd split for goodhes got a new girlfriend now.

She even gave me the new girlfriends address. I knocked on her door, trying to be polite. Hello, love. Could I see Sam?

She gave me such a smirk and slammed the door in my face. I just stood and walked away, swallowing my pride.

Sam came back a year later, and by then that girl had little Amy. I blamed myself for chucking him out; maybe then there wouldnt have been that other woman, or Amy. After that, I fussed over Alex even more, loved him more fiercely, did anything to keep us together.

We never talked about Amy much, never let it become a topic. As if mentioning her would make everything else fall apart.

In the end, who doesnt have a skeleton or two lurking about? Let those other women try their luck with someone elses husband next time.

Alex mellowed as the years went on. The old flames faded; he kept mostly to himself, spent his evenings in front of the telly. Jack got married young, gave us three cracking grandkids. And suddenly, boomtheres Amy again, after all these years, asking us to take in her daughter.

Makes you stop and think. How exactly do I explain a strange girl joining our family to Jack? He doesnt know a thing about his dads youthful adventures.

Well, of course we took her. Went through all the paperwork, everything. Little Emily was five. Amy passed away; only thirty years old. The grass grows over every grave, but life goes on.

Alex sat Jack down, proper man-to-man. Jack listened quietly and just said, Whatever happened in the past is gone. I wont judge. And Emilys familyshe should stay.

We breathed a huge sigh of relief. Our boys a good one, full of heart.

Emilys sixteen nowadores Granddad Sam, shares secrets with him, calls me Grandma Polly, says shes my double at that age. I always just smile and nod because, really, what more can you say?