Déjà Vu
She was always waiting for letters. Always. Ever since she was a little girl. Her whole life.
The addresses changed. Trees seemed to shrink, people grew more distant, her anticipation softened to a gentle hum.
He didnt trust anyone and never expected a single thing. To look at, he was the very picture of an everymanbroad-shouldered and sturdy. Work. Then home. A dog waiting for him. Solo holidays, sometimes with his four-legged companion.
She was a charming girl, with eyes big and sad, the sort youd see on a windswept novel cover. Once, someone asked her,
What couldnt you leave home without?
My smile! shed chirp, and those adorable dimples proved it.
For as long as she could remember, shed always got along better with boys. They called her the Pirate in a Skirt in her neighbourhood. But she had one secret game for when she was alone: shed pretend to be a mum, with loads of children, a kind husband, all in a big, cosy house with a lovely garden.
He couldnt imagine his life without sport. Trophies, medals, certificatessleeping quietly in a box in the garage. Who knows why he kept themmaybe out of respect for mum and dad, who were ever so proud! He meant to take them over, someday. He got first place medals not for the thrill of winning, but for the lovely burn of effort: run till you nearly collapse, then feel yourself power up againpure magic.
Her parents died when she was about seven. She and her little brother, sent to different care homes. Thats how they grew upbattles, sorrows, fleeting bursts of happiness. The care homes were behind them now; nowadays, brother and sister lived across the road from each other in a snug neighbourhood of modest houses, toasty lanes, pretty gardens, and bustling farmers markets. Best matesfamily.
One day felt especially tense Her shift was over; she was crossing the depot yard when Old Bill jogged up, gave her a fatherly hug and thanked her for the pasties.
Get some sleep at home, you hear?
Loads of time, she grinned, pecking his cheek before racing off to her car.
Oy sighed the ambulance driver, seeing her disappear.
She and this chap were often paired for bank holiday shifts. Few were keen to work then, doctors included.
There were two other men on her crew. The women at work werent terribly fond of hershe liked to look neat, presentable. Everything changes when the doctors got pep and a nice outfit.
He tore along the road, sport trophies rattling in the boot, while his dog whined restlessly on the back seat. Dad had invited him to spend New Years together, so hed loaded the box of trophies into the car the same day. Thrilled to finally not be working over a holiday, although hed miss the boyscoaching was his thing. Still, rare visits home always left a pang
Just before the new year, he was shaken from sleep by his phone.
Mums not well, dads voice quivered, the retired colonel unable to hide his worry. His parents had been together since school and, even now, gazed at each other like teenage sweethearts. He was always a bit in awe, as if they shared some brilliant secret.
She stifled a tired smileevery New Years Eve she baked a mountain of pies, then drove them around the city after her shift. Managed a couple hours sleep at work, else Old Bill would have driven her home himself, mug of tea in hand, beaming at her sheepish grin.
Ten miles to mum and dads. Then, quite suddenly, a blizzard. He remembered, not long ago, the dog had resisted getting in the carthe clatter from the boot, all those memories, endless stints on the road
Mum, Dad, hang in there… no one else but you two
The dog promptly licked him on the head, as if reading his mind.
Sorry, mate. Of course, you too
She turned down the radiothis snow was just perfect, wasnt it. One last pie, a few miles out, and soon shed reach the cottage estate. Her favourite patient lived out there. Oh, what a pairsprightly granny (though you couldnt really call her that), and her equally twinkly-eyed husband. They loved to travel, never gripeda pair just like her parents might have been.
A sharp, dark blur shot out in front of her car. On the white, endless swirl.
Whereve you come from, you mutt? The woods? Or did you run off from somewhere? Such lovely eyes Whats with your sticky neck!?… Wet jumper So sleepy Jack, Jack, mate Whys it hurt so much?… Mum, Dad, Im coming nearly there So dark
Bills phone went unanswered; hed gone to fetch the grandchildren. No way an ambulance could make it out here. The snow was wild.
Hang on, lad its all right Ill get you outoh Lord, theres a dog too
She was about to set off again when a grey car flew by. Someones in a hurry, she thought. A few minutes later, she spotted the overturned car spinning off into the verge. A black dog nearbyseemed to be alive.
Whats the time, anyway? She hated hot showers but, right now, a steaming one saved her. The shivers finally faded. She sat on the bathroom floor, closed her eyes, breathed out. If only she could just nap
Howd you pull him outhes built like a tank! She could hear her brothers voice echoing in her head, her whole body tightening at the memory.
She loaded the man and the two dogs into her carhalfway there, her brother met her, and helped. That same day, she swung by the cottage estate, determined to deliver that pie. For some reason, shed picked up the box that had tumbled from the cars boot. Might be important for that bloke. The main thing is, everyones aliveIll return it when hes well.
The older ladys husband answered the door, looking frazzled.
Has something happened? she blurted out.
My wifes in hospital. Im heading overcouldnt wait for my son, cant reach him
She said nothing, eyes downcast.
Are you all right? he asked kindly, taking her hand.
Let me drive you? she offered.
They drove in silence. The snow had relented at last.
Youve got a box on the back seatwheres that from? the colonel finally asked.
There was a crash. A man swerved for a black dog from the woodscar overturned, box fell out the boot
The grey car, white dog inside, and the dog from the woods was black? he asked, barely above a whisper.
She pulled over, looked at him.
He clenched his fists, staring ahead.
Hes alive. And your wife will pull through, she promised, giving him a hug.
Listen, love can I call you that?
Of course! she replied, eyes brimming.
For days my wife kept dreaming of a black dog. Our sons got a white one. Wheres this black one come from?
Such beautiful eyes. Unforgettable. So sad Was his first thought, coming to in hospital. His father dozed on the chair by his bed.
Mum. The crash. It all came back. And those eyes
They celebrated New Years at the end of January. Mum was mending. Dad was grinning again. Jack had a limp, but that would heal up soon. He was needed back at work soon, to whip the lads into shape after their Christmas holiday. Overstayed at his parentstime to return to the city. But he couldnt shake thoughts of that girl
He was halfway out the gate when Dad called from the attic window.
Need a hand, Dad?
The old colonel grinned slyly. He glanced in the atticon the shelf, his sports trophies.
What the Stealing, Colonel?
Have a think Dad winked. Im taking Jack for a walk before you go.
She was hurrying home, earlier than usual. Dina would be waiting. She just couldnt leave her at the vets after she recoveredcouldnt bear the thought of the shelter. Dina wasnt quite all blacka white patch on her chest, shaped like a heart.
The girl went inside, almost out of habit, opened her postbox without looking. She was about to slam it shut when she spotted a white envelope at the bottom.
Inside, the letter read:
Ill come by tonight. Thank you, love!
Love is like a compassit helps you find your way.
