**Diary Entry – Finding the Middle Ground**
My husband, John, gave me a puzzled look when I said, “Christening at a restaurant? We’ll need to buy a gift, too.” I suggested we visit our granddaughter the next day instead, keeping it simple at home without all the fuss. This is the story of how John and I wrestled with the right way to celebrate little Emily’s christening—and why it stirred up so much debate.
**The Invitation**
Our daughter, Sophie, had her first child six months ago. Emily is our first grandchild, and John and I adore her. When Sophie announced the christening plans, I was delighted—it’s a meaningful occasion, and I wanted it done properly. But then she explained it wouldn’t just be a church service followed by tea at home—it was to be a full-blown affair at a posh restaurant, complete with a host, photographer, and dozens of guests. I couldn’t help but ask, “Sophie, why so extravagant? It’s a christening, not a wedding!”
She insisted it had to be special, something to remember. Her husband, Edward, agreed—their first child deserved a grand celebration. I held my tongue, but inside, I was uneasy. John and I have lived modestly all our lives, and splashing out on a lavish affair seemed unnecessary.
**The Gift Dilemma**
Then came the tricky part—choosing a gift. Traditionally, a christening calls for something symbolic—a silver cross, a Bible, or savings for the child’s future. But Sophie hinted that in a restaurant setting, “just showing up empty-handed wouldn’t do.” I asked, “So, should we give money in an envelope?” She replied vaguely, “Well, do as you like, but everyone else is bringing something.” I did the maths—£50 seemed too little, but more than that wasn’t feasible with our pension and the roof repairs we’d just paid for.
John suggested skipping the restaurant altogether. “Let’s visit the day after,” he said. “We’ll congratulate them at home and give something heartfelt.” I agreed—it felt cosier, and we wouldn’t have to stress over amounts in an envelope. We settled on a silver cross and a beautifully illustrated children’s Bible—a meaningful and sincere gift.
**The Talk with Sophie**
When I told Sophie our plan, she was hurt. “Mum, are you really not coming to the christening? It’s a big day for Emily!” I tried explaining we weren’t against the christening itself, just the restaurant spectacle. But she took it personally. “All the other grandparents will be there—don’t you want to be part of this family?” That stung. Of course we did—but did it have to be in a restaurant?
John was firm: “If they want to spend a fortune, that’s their choice. We’d rather spend time with Emily at home.” Still, seeing Sophie upset made me second-guess—were we too old-fashioned? Should we have just gone along with it?
**The Compromise**
In the end, we met halfway. John and I attended the christening at the church—quiet, heartfelt, with Emily looking angelic in her white gown. We skipped the restaurant gathering but visited Sophie the next day, giving our gifts and enjoying tea with Emily. Sophie softened when she saw how the baby reached for us.
I realised traditions mean different things to different people. For Sophie, it was about the celebration. For John and me, it was being there for Emily. Still, I wondered—is this how things will be from now on? Envelopes of money, obligations?
If you’ve been in a similar spot, how did you handle it? How do you balance your own principles with your children’s expectations? Or are John and I just too stuck in our ways? I’d welcome your thoughts.
