Not long ago, I ran into a woman as she strolled down the street with her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter
One day, I was meandering through Marks & Spencer and spotted my usually disinterested sister, Rebecca
“It Doesn’t Look Right That Your Children Will Have Homes and My Son Won’t—Let’s Get Him a Flat with a Mortgage!”
Recently, my husband Anthony pointed out that my children have their own flats, but his son doesn’t, so we should figure out how to help his son get one too. Let me explain: my children are both mine and Anthony’s, while Anthony’s son is from his first marriage.
Why should I be the one to worry about his son’s housing? Of course, I knew Anthony had been married before and had a child. That’s one reason I wasn’t in a rush to marry him.
We lived together for three years before tying the knot. I carefully watched how he felt about his ex-wife and his son. A year later, I had a son. After another two years, I had a second son.
I’m completely happy with Anthony, both as a husband and a father. He makes time for me and the children. He earns good money. Of course, we argue sometimes—what family doesn’t?
We lived in the flat I inherited from my dad. My mum divorced him when I was very young. Now she’s remarried, but didn’t have kids with her new husband.
Anthony and his ex always lived in rented properties. They tried saving for a mortgage together, but never managed it. After their divorce, his ex moved back in with her parents, and Anthony rented a place on his own.
When we married, he moved in with me. We never discussed who owns the flat. It was just our home—we did renovations, bought new furniture. But a year and a half ago, both my grandmothers passed away. They left their flats to me in their wills.
While my boys are little, I decided to rent those flats out. Later, each son will get one. Right now, I give my mum the rent from one flat to supplement her pension. The rent from the other helps with my income—extra money is always useful.
My husband never interfered in my property affairs—it was none of his business. I told him from the start: when our boys are grown, each gets a flat. He agreed, and that was that.
Then, out of the blue, he said:
— My son finishes sixth form soon. He needs to start thinking about his future!
I wasn’t sure what he was hinting at, but I listened.
— Your boys have flats, but my son doesn’t! We must help him get a place—even if it means taking out a mortgage! — Anthony blurted out.
I was stunned! I had so many questions. First, I asked why our boys were suddenly “my” children. He told me not to split hairs.
— But my son will never inherit anything. I want him to have a home of his own!
— That’s great you care—but your son has a mum and dad. Shouldn’t they provide for him? Why isn’t his mother doing it?
My husband explained his ex barely makes ends meet, her parents help where they can, and he can’t manage a mortgage on his own. But, if I help, it would all work out. He expected me to agree to help buy his son a flat with a mortgage, in our names, but for his son. But WE would pay the mortgage.
We both have good jobs and rental income—we could manage! Anthony pleaded.
Yes, maybe we could—but it would mean serious saving. Anthony still pays child support. And once his son goes to university, Anthony will keep helping, because his ex can’t afford it. So, because of his son, my boys and I would have no holidays, no seaside trips—just constant scrimping. All so Anthony can look like a good dad?
I would understand if Anthony had provided our boys their homes and wanted to do the same for his eldest. But I provided the flats for my children—Anthony had nothing to do with it. Why should I pay a mortgage for someone else’s son?
I told Anthony straight out—if he’s so concerned, his ex can get the mortgage, and pay it from the child support.
— I’m not getting involved!
He’s furious and hasn’t spoken to me for a week. It’s a shame he doesn’t see my point. I say, it hardly seems fair that your children will have flats and my son wont. Lets sort him out with
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