La vida

I’m 50, and a year ago my wife left home with the kids while I was away—when I came back, the house was empty. A few weeks ago, I got a court order for child support, and now the payments are taken straight from my wages—no choice, no negotiation, no delay, the money just goes. I won’t pretend to be a saint: I cheated, more than once. Never fully hid it, but never truly admitted it. She accused me, I claimed she was seeing things. I also had a nasty temper—shouting, snapping, throwing things, ruling the house with my voice. I never hit them, but I scared them, and my kids learned to fear me. Coming home, they’d go silent; if I raised my voice, they’d retreat to their rooms. My wife walked on eggshells, careful with every word, never arguing back. I saw it as respect—now I know it was fear. Back then, I didn’t care—I was the breadwinner, the boss, the one making the rules. When she left, I felt betrayed, thought she’d come crawling back, so I refused to pay a penny—not because I couldn’t, but out of spite. I told her if she wanted money, she should come home, I wouldn’t support anyone living away. But she didn’t return; she went straight to a solicitor, filed all the paperwork, laid out every detail, and in no time the judge ordered automatic deductions. Now my wage is slashed before I even see it. There’s nothing to hide, nowhere to run—the money is gone before I touch it. Now I have no wife, no kids at home. I rarely see them, and when I do, they keep their distance. They say nothing. I’m no longer wanted. Financially, I’m more cornered than ever—rent, child support, debts, and there’s barely anything left for me. Sometimes I’m angry. Other times, I’m ashamed. My sister told me I brought it all on myself.

I’m fifty years old, and about a year ago, my wife walked out with the children. She left while

La vida

07

I’m 41 and the house I live in belonged to my grandparents. After they passed away, my mum stayed here, and when she was gone, the house was left to me. It’s always been a quiet, tidy, and peaceful place. I work all day and come home to an empty house. I never imagined that would change because of a choice I made “to help someone out”. Two years ago, a distant cousin called me in tears. She’d split up with her partner, had a young son, and nowhere to go. She asked if she could stay for “a few months” until she got back on her feet. I agreed — she was family, and I thought it wouldn’t affect me much. At first, everything was fine: she took one room, helped with the bills, and was out early each morning for work. Her son stayed with a neighbour. No problems. After three months, she quit her job. She said it was temporary, that she was looking for something better. She started spending all day in the house. Her son stopped going to the neighbour and stayed here instead. The place began to change — toys everywhere, noise, and unexpected visitors. I’d come home exhausted to find strangers sitting in my living room. When I asked her to give me a heads-up, she said I was overreacting and that “this is her home now too”. Eventually, she stopped contributing financially. First it was “just for now”, then she promised to pay me back. I ended up paying for everything: bills, groceries, repairs. One day I came home to find she’d rearranged the furniture “to make it cosier” — she hadn’t asked. When I expressed my annoyance, she got offended and told me I was cold, that I didn’t understand what it meant to live like a family. Things became even more tense when she started having her ex over — the man she claimed she’d left. He would come around in the evenings, stay the night, use the shower, eat the food. One day I found him coming out of my bedroom — he’d borrowed “a jacket”, apparently without asking. That’s when I told her enough was enough — there had to be boundaries. She started crying and shouting, reminding me I’d taken her in when she had nothing. Six months ago, I tried to set a deadline for her to move out. She said she couldn’t — no money, her son’s school nearby, how could I throw her out? I feel trapped. My home doesn’t feel like mine anymore. I come in quietly so I don’t wake the child, eat dinner in my room to avoid rows, and spend more time out than in. I still live here, but it no longer feels like home. She acts as if the house is hers. I pay for everything, yet I’m called selfish whenever I ask for order. I desperately need advice.

Im 41, and the house I live in once belonged to my grandparents. After they passed, my mother stayed

La vida

05

My Husband’s Cousin Came to Visit: Am I Old-Fashioned for Expecting Guests to Bring a Gift?

My husbands cousin came to visit. Perhaps Im a bit old-fashioned, and maybe things have changed nowadays

La vida

05

Five Years in a Long-Distance Relationship: I Was Ready to Propose, Until a Stranger Called to Reveal My Girlfriend Was Leading Triple Lives in Three Cities and I Learned the Hard Way That Women Can Cheat Strategically, Too

Id been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years. We lived in different cities thanks to our

La vida

06

I’m 50, and a year ago my wife left home with the kids while I was away—when I came back, the house was empty. A few weeks ago, I got a court order for child support, and now the payments are taken straight from my wages—no choice, no negotiation, no delay, the money just goes. I won’t pretend to be a saint: I cheated, more than once. Never fully hid it, but never truly admitted it. She accused me, I claimed she was seeing things. I also had a nasty temper—shouting, snapping, throwing things, ruling the house with my voice. I never hit them, but I scared them, and my kids learned to fear me. Coming home, they’d go silent; if I raised my voice, they’d retreat to their rooms. My wife walked on eggshells, careful with every word, never arguing back. I saw it as respect—now I know it was fear. Back then, I didn’t care—I was the breadwinner, the boss, the one making the rules. When she left, I felt betrayed, thought she’d come crawling back, so I refused to pay a penny—not because I couldn’t, but out of spite. I told her if she wanted money, she should come home, I wouldn’t support anyone living away. But she didn’t return; she went straight to a solicitor, filed all the paperwork, laid out every detail, and in no time the judge ordered automatic deductions. Now my wage is slashed before I even see it. There’s nothing to hide, nowhere to run—the money is gone before I touch it. Now I have no wife, no kids at home. I rarely see them, and when I do, they keep their distance. They say nothing. I’m no longer wanted. Financially, I’m more cornered than ever—rent, child support, debts, and there’s barely anything left for me. Sometimes I’m angry. Other times, I’m ashamed. My sister told me I brought it all on myself.

I’m fifty years old, and about a year ago, my wife walked out with the children. She left while

La vida

012

LOVING BY ENDURING, ENDURING BY LOVING John and Dorothy’s marriage was blessed in church. On their wedding day, as the bridal party neared the church, a sudden wild summer storm broke out. Out of nowhere, a furious wind tore Dorothy’s bridal veil away, sending it spiraling high into the sky, only to drop, limp, into a muddy puddle. Guests could only gasp in shock as the storm stopped as suddenly as it began. John dashed after the veil, but it was too late. The snow-white veil now lay soiled in a black puddle. Flustered, Dorothy shouted to her fiancé: “John, leave it! I won’t wear it now!” The old ladies sitting near the church bent together and whispered, “A rough start means a stormy marriage…” Dorothy’s friends bought her an artificial white flower and pinned it into her hair. There was no time to look for a new veil. After all, you can’t be late to your own church wedding! So the new bride and groom stood before the altar, holding candles and exchanging sacred vows—to God. But before the church ceremony, they’d already signed the registry and celebrated with a beautiful wedding—for appearances. Three years later, they had two children: Sophie and Arthur. Family life was peaceful and happy. …But ten years after the wedding, a young woman knocked on John and Dorothy’s door. Dorothy always welcomed guests warmly, whether invited or unexpected—feeding them, pouring tea, and offering friendly conversation. But this visitor was different. She came when John was out. With a woman’s instinct, Dorothy sized up the stranger: well-dressed, friendly, strikingly beautiful, and so young. “Hello, Dorothy. I’m Millie. I’m your husband’s future wife,” the stranger said. “How interesting!” Dorothy was taken aback. “And how long has John been engaged to you?” Dorothy asked, entering into the odd conversation. “A while now. But I can’t wait much longer—John and I are having a baby,” Millie replied, unashamed. “Hm… Textbook story! Wife, mistress, illegitimate child…” “Miss, you do realise John and I are married—blessed in church? We have children.” Dorothy tried to reason with her. “I know. But we’re in love—forever! You can get an annulment; after all, your husband hasn’t been faithful. I looked into it.” “Look, Miss!” Dorothy was getting annoyed. “Don’t meddle in another woman’s family. We’ll deal with our love and loyalty.” The girl shrugged and left. Dorothy slammed the door in anger. “She’s so sure of herself! Well, you’re not getting John!” Dorothy couldn’t help but recall how John’s attentiveness had faded lately: working late, sudden business trips, outlandish new hobbies. Every woman can sense another’s presence—a tension in the air, something unsaid… But Dorothy pushed the dark thoughts aside. Maybe she’d imagined it; maybe John was blameless. That evening, after dinner, Dorothy finally broached the difficult subject: “John, are you in love?” she asked directly. He hesitated, “I am.” “Your…woman came by today. Is this serious?” Dorothy’s voice trembled. “I’m a scoundrel! I can’t live without Millie. I tried to end it… I just can’t. Please let me go, Dorothy!” “You’re free…” Dorothy knew appeals to conscience or the children were pointless. Life would decide. And so, John left for his new love. Dorothy turned to the vicar for counsel. After listening kindly, he said, “My child, love bears long, and never fails! You have every right to an annulment—John has strayed. Or you can forgive, pray, and wait. The Lord works in mysterious ways…” Two months later, Dorothy found herself expecting a child—John’s child. Joy blossomed: perhaps it was a sign—maybe John would rethink and return. That hope sustained her through the pregnancy. A healthy baby boy was born. Dorothy’s mother suggested calling him Jack—after all, Jack is the English for John. “Maybe your John will come back—stranger things have happened…” Fortunately, Dorothy’s mother helped in every way—watching the children, feeding them, teaching them sense and kindness. John didn’t forget Sophie and Arthur: he sent gifts, took them to the seaside, left money in envelopes. Dorothy forbade the children to mention little Jack to their dad. Naturally, Sophie spilled the secret during a visit. John assumed Dorothy had found someone new—and felt a pang of jealousy at the memory of their happy past. He never imagined Jack could be his own son. …Meanwhile, John’s new wife, Millie, had a difficult pregnancy. John ran about finding fruit and odd cravings—chalk, pickles… But tragedy struck: Millie gave birth to a stillborn girl. Then a second pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Devastated, Millie wanted a break from motherhood, but fate had other plans… During this time, Dorothy’s old university friend, Victor, began visiting. He’d had eyes for Dorothy back then, but she’d never considered him for a husband—too dutiful, too serious, too attached to his mother, and lacking a sense of humour—though other girls were drawn to him. After meeting John, Dorothy had given Victor the brush-off, but it turned out he’d only quietly stepped away. One rainy autumn day, Dorothy met Victor on the bus. “Mind if I sit here?” he asked. “Of course,” Dorothy replied, barely looking up. He was persistent: “Everything alright, miss?” When he called her by name—“Dorothy, hello! Why so sad?”—she finally looked. “Victor? Goodness, it’s been ages! Where have you been?” They laughed together, and she invited him round. Over wine and fruit, Dorothy poured her heart out. Victor listened, nodded, and comforted her. At the end, she kissed him—on the cheek, just for understanding. Victor left, quietly encouraged. He’d never married himself, it turned out. Victor began visiting Dorothy’s home, bringing gifts for the children, flowers for her. But Dorothy was clear: “You’re welcome here, but I’m waiting for my husband. There will be no impropriety.” Victor accepted even this, preferring to be ‘brother’ to Dorothy and ‘uncle’ to the children, rather than be alone. Meanwhile, Millie finally gave birth to a healthy girl, blessings at last. She and John named her Grace—a name meaning ‘blessed’. Millie devoted herself to motherhood and often thought back to her talk with Dorothy: “Stolen happiness brings no joy—only pain.” Only now did she truly realise the sorrow she’d caused. She longed to throw herself at Dorothy’s feet and beg forgiveness. John doted on their daughter Grace—spoiling her with toys, cradling her at night, cherishing bath time. Years passed; the children grew older, and the adults matured too. Then, tragedy struck—Millie fell gravely ill at just thirty. Hospitals, doctors, treatments—John did everything for her. When the end approached, Millie asked, “Please, John, take me to see your first wife—Dorothy.” John was surprised but agreed. Dorothy already knew Millie was ill—her daughter, Sophie, still visited John and had told her. So, when John called, Dorothy consented readily. Carrying frail Millie inside, John laid her carefully on the bed. The family gathered, waiting, as Dorothy sat by her side. “Forgive me, Dorothy, if you can. God’s justice has caught up with me. Please, promise me you’ll raise Grace—she’ll have no one but you, John, and your family,” Millie pleaded through tears. Holding her hand, Dorothy said gently, “Millie, we punish ourselves—not God! I forgave you long ago! Don’t worry about Grace, she will never be left alone. Stay here with us, both you and John, until you’re stronger. There’s room for everyone in this house! I promise—you’ll get better! With God, anything is possible. Don’t lose hope.” The house became like something from a fairy tale—there was shelter and care for all. Everyone helped look after Millie, but it was Victor who proved the most devoted—always by her side, comforting her. In time, he realised he’d fallen in love with her, just as he adored little Grace. Millie began to fight for her life; she clung to hope, and slowly, surely, improved. Six months of struggle passed. Gradually, Millie could walk in the garden and bask in the sunlight. Life returned by degrees… Millie pondered Victor. She still loved John, but another woman’s husband is off-limits—she’d learnt that lesson well. But Victor was kind, gentle, and cared for her child as his own. Such families too can flourish, where one’s love is enough for both. She would try to let Victor’s love grow. Recovery was slow, but real. Then, finally, during a family meal, Millie spoke: “Dorothy, John, Grace and I—and Victor—are leaving. Thank you for your kindness. I may never meet such wonderful people again. Bless you all from the bottom of my heart!” John and Dorothy exchanged glances. They’d seen the bond growing between Millie and Victor—LOVE. Some time before, John had shared with Dorothy: “No matter what happens between you and Millie, I want—I need—to be with you. Your generosity knows no bounds. Will you take me back? We must raise our three children together. I’ll beg at your feet for forgiveness!” “What do you think, John? Of course I will! I ought to be the one asking your forgiveness. Life teaches us all…” Dorothy kissed her once-wayward husband. “And Grace?” Dorothy pressed. “Her happiness matters too.” “Grace is my daughter. She will never suffer for my mistakes. My door will always be open to her,” John vowed. Victor, Millie, and Grace prepared to leave. At the door, Millie turned to John: “Love Dorothy. More than life—love her! Never hurt her. I’ll always remember you, John.” “Be happy, Millie,” John replied…

TO LOVE ENDURINGLY, TO ENDURE LOVING James and Emilys marriage was sealed in the old stone church on

La vida

053

I Sat at the Table Holding the Photos That Had Just Fallen out of My Mother-in-Law’s Gift Bag—They Weren’t Cards, They Weren’t Greetings, Just Prints from a Phone, Like Someone Wanted Them to Last. My Heart Pounded as the Kitchen Clock Ticked and the Oven Hummed: Tonight Was Supposed to Be a Perfect Family Dinner, Everything Set, Napkins for “Guests”—But My Mother-in-Law Came In, Dropped the Bag, and With That Familiar Look Said, “I Brought Something Small,” No Smile, No Warmth—When I Opened It Out of Politeness, the Photos Hit the Table Like a Slap: My Husband, My Husband Again, and Then My Husband With Another Woman—Not “Just a Friend.” She Sat Down Calmly, as If She’d Served Tea Rather Than a Bombshell, and When I Asked What This Was, She Simply Replied, “The Truth.” The Rest of the Night, Through Shaky Hands and a Dinner I Refused to Let Her Ruin, I Realised Her Goal Wasn’t to Help Me—It Was to Humiliate Me. But I Served Dinner Anyway. My Mother-in-Law Expected a Scene; Instead, I Covered the Photos With a Spotless White Napkin and Said, “You Want to See Me Weak. It Won’t Happen.” When My Husband Came Home, I Told Him to Explain, Here and Now, in Front of Her—And When She Was Exposed, She Stormed Out, Outplayed at Her Own Game. Tonight, I Claimed a Quiet Victory. What Would You Have Done? Give Me Your Advice…

I was sitting at the table, holding the photos that had just slipped out of the gift bag my mother-in-law

La vida

06

I Was Eight Years Old When My Mum Left Home—She Walked to the Corner, Took a Taxi, and Never Came Back. My Brother Was Five. From That Moment, Everything Changed: My Dad Learned to Cook Breakfast, Do the Laundry, Iron Our School Uniforms, Clumsily Brush Our Hair Before School. He Burned Food, Got the Rice Measurements Wrong, Forgot to Separate Whites from Colours—But Never Let Us Go Without. After Work, He Helped with Homework, Packed Our Lunches, Never Brought Another Woman Home, Never Said He’d Fallen in Love Again. On Weekends, He Took Us to the Park, the River, the Shopping Centre—Learned to Braid Hair, Sew Buttons, Make Costumes from Cardboard and Old Fabric for School Plays. Never Complained, Never Said “That’s Not My Job.” Last Year, My Dad Went to God Suddenly. When Sorting His Things, I Found Not Love Letters, Nor Photos with Another Woman—Just Tattered Notebooks Tracking Bills, Dates, Notes Like “Pay the Fee,” “Buy Shoes,” “Take the Girl to the Doctor.” He Lived for Us. Now, With Him Gone, One Question Haunts Me: Was He Ever Happy? My Mum Left to Find Her Happiness. My Dad Stayed, Gave Up His Own, and Never Remarried—So We Wouldn’t Be Alone. Today I Realise I Had an Incredible Dad, But That He Was a Man Who Chose Loneliness So We Would Not Be Lonely. And That Weighs Heavy, Because Without Him, I Wonder If He Ever Received the Love He Truly Deserved.

I was eight years old when my mum left home. She walked to the end of our street, hopped into a taxi

La vida

02

He Left Me Alone at Our Beautifully Set Table to Dash Off and Celebrate with His Mates in the Garage

He just left me sitting there at the set table and ran off to help the lads at the garage. Are you really

La vida

02

I’m 50 Years Old and a Year Ago My Wife Left Home with the Kids While I Was Away. When I Returned, the House Was Empty. A Few Weeks Ago, I Got a Letter Demanding Child Support—Now the Payments Come Straight from My Salary, No Negotiation, No Delay. I Wasn’t a Saint: I Cheated, I Yelled, I Was Controlling, and My Kids Feared Me. I Thought It Was Respect, but It Was Always Fear. When My Wife Left, I Tried to Punish Her Financially, Hoping She’d Come Back, but She Went to a Solicitor Instead—Now I’m Alone, Struggling with Debt, Rarely Seeing My Children, Facing the Consequences of My Own Actions, Just as My Sister Told Me I Would.

I am fifty now. A year ago, while I was away, my wife gathered up the children and simply left.