IMPATIENT FOR MARRIAGE
Alice had always dreamed of a happy marriage. Shed already been unlucky onceher first experience hardly counted as a success.
She had a son, Arthur, aged twenty.
Years ago, shed caught her husband in an act of outrageous betrayal. Alice returned from a business trip a day early to find her husbandhalf-dressedhurriedly making the bed in their bedroom. Her dearest friend was on her kitchen, brewing coffee, wearing Alices dressing gown!
A tale as old as time. The divorce was swift. Her treacherous friend was erased from every contact and memory. Alice saw no reason to sort through the sordid details: when theres guilt, there should be consequences. Alice sent her husband packing and forbade her son from seeing him. She was not even thirty then.
Ten years sped by. Alice managed to earn her Masters and then her Doctorate.
By forty, she was a Doctor of Philology, head of her department at the local university.
Colleagues respected her. Despite a decade of female solitude, Alice clung to the hope of meeting a worthy companion. She was not ready to resign herself to knitting socks and embroidery just yet.
Thered been no lack of suitors. Yet, none ever truly anchored in the harbour of her heart. One would-be admirer proposed marriage immediately after their first date, borrowed fifty pounds (Well, arent we almost family now?), then disappeared. Anothera widowerwas seeking a mother for his children. Straight away, he invited Alice to his home and asked her to cook a delicious meal for his entire brood. She wasnt prepared for such an enthusiastic welcome but still managed to cook dinner and feed his three young children.
She returned home in tears. She felt sorry for those children and for their father, so alone. But she couldnt see herself taking on that crowd. Maybe I am selfish, Alice justified herself.
Each year brought fewer options. One day, Alice nearly gave up hope altogether, resigned to drawing a firm line under these fruitless stories, when suddenly, he appeared.
…It was Samuel, an old student of hers from the university. He was twenty-eightAlice had once been his lecturer. After graduation, Samuel stayed on in London and opened his own small business.
One morning, Alice stopped at a petrol station to fill up her car, and as fate would have it, Samuel was the owner. They struck up a conversation, reminisced, shared a laugh. Samuel gave her his business cardjust in case. After that, Alice made a habit of stopping by every week to fill her tankand see Samuel. He soon began to show her more attention.
He invited her to dinners, concerts, even to see the Philharmonic. Alice felt awkward and doubted the sincerity of her former student, so she initially declined.
However, Samuel was persistent. Alice recalled his diligence and ambition as a student, and his impressive command of English. Not only was he strikingly handsome, he also had charms many of her female students admired. Once, back in the day, Samuel had given Alice an ornate box containing a note
She remembered flushing, then going pale upon reading it. Furiously, she tore Samuels note to pieces. It read: Dr. Alice, I love you. Certain it was some kind of mockery, Alice had stuffed the box back into Samuels hands and fled.
The next day, Samuel knocked at her office:
Dr. Alice, Im sorry. I didnt mean to upset you. I really do like you.
She accepted his apology. Thank you, Samuel. Please head to the lecture. Were about to start.
For the rest of his time at university, Samuel kept his distance, only ever glancing at her from afar. And now, years later, here they were again. Alice was tornshould she accept his advances or not? Im nobody to him nowjust a man and a woman. Whats the worst that could happen? she reasoned.
In the end, she surrendered to fate.
A fleeting romance began.
Their first date was unforgettable. Samuel delighted and surprised Alicegentle, witty, full of warmth. He was utterly different from any admirer shed known before. Their age gap didnt matter in the slightest; she could feel as light-hearted as a young girl, and hemature and composed.
Alice jokingly called Samuel Simon, putting her own spin on his name, and he didnt mind in the least. He started calling her Ally. For the first time, Alice felt truly desired. A spark ignited that nothing could put out.
Samuel didnt propose marriage. He planned to return home to his family in Birmingham, and would not go against their wishes. His mother wrote to say they had found him a suitable young bride named Harriet, seventeen, from a proper English family. As for Alice, she would never leave her homeland, not with her son and her own mother to care forsuch a move was unimaginable. Samuels family, no doubt, would never accept an older woman from elsewhere. She would simply not fit in.
Better the devil you know than the devil you dont.
Thus, Alice resolved to pour all her love and tenderness into Samuel, while she could. How much happiness do I have left? Not much. Ill love this man with all that remainsIll enjoy every moment, she confessed to her mother.
Her mother was firmly against a foreigner.
Alice! Why would you choose an outsider? Arent there enough Simons for you here? Ill never give you my blessing! Your ex-husband is always around, always hoping. Cant you see? Hes waiting for your forgiveness! After all, you have a son together! her mother cried.
Mum, David was unfaithful! Have you forgotten? Alice retorted.
Hes repented a hundred times! And you didnt help mattersburied in research, you neglected your marriage. When a man is left unsupervised, of course another woman will try to snatch him upand he wont necessarily resist! her mother said stubbornly.
So why didnt you forgive my father? Didnt he beg your pardon, too? Alice parried.
Really, Alice! Thats hardly the same thing! First, your father left before you were born. Second, hed fathered three children elsewhere before returning to see you. Why would I want a man with three children in tow? And could I take him away from their lives? No! Your David, on the other hand, has been wandering lonely for more than a decade, waiting for your call. Arthur loves him too, her mother concluded.
Oh mum, I have no intention of marrying Samuel. Im too old for him. Ill wait for him to leave firstbecause I cant do it myself. Well see what happens Alice said thoughtfully.
Ah, daughter! Even an old mare yearns for salt her mother sighed.
Three years later, Samuel parted ways with Alice. Ill keep in touch, my dear, was all he said.
Alice had known this would come, yet it still stung terribly to let him go into Harriets young arms. As a farewell, Samuel gave Alice the same ornate box where it had all begun. Inside, this time, was a unique ring shaped like two little angels clasping a diamond heart.
My heart stays with you, Ally, Samuel whispered, kissing Alice deeply.
He left for Birmingham.
The next year, a photo arrived: Samuels wedding day, with My wife, Harriet, written on the back. A year later, another: My second wife, Mary. Samuel explained to Alice that, in his family traditions, it was usual to have more than one wife.
When Alice saw these bulletins from Samuel, she felt no trace of jealousy. What could those naïve girls know about passionate love? There was a certain comfort in Samuels sad gazeit suggested he perhaps still missed her. Maybe, he even still loved her. Then again, old flames fade when a new wind blows.
The fairy tale ended. Another chapter turned. In that time, Arthur married, and brought his new wife home. When they had a daughter, Alice asked if they might name the girl Ally, hoping to keep the memory of her burning love alive forever.
Alice forgaveperhaps simply pitiedher former husband, David. Guilt that isnt absolved yields nothing. David made his approach through Alices mother. This time, her mothers wise words prevailed:
Hes been sorry for years. And, after all, who among us is without flaw? Temptation walks with us all. Few can claim immunity from human follies.
Today, Alice and David live together as a family, doing their best never to be apart again. Alice even finished a knitting course, and now knits little socks with English patterns for her granddaughter Ally
Sometimes, life brings us great sorrows and brief, dazzling joys. In the end, though, we find our peace not in fairy tales or wild passions, but in forgiveness, family, and the small acts of love that bind us close.
