And how am I supposed to explain to everyone why youre not at Mums birthday do? I asked, a bit lost for words.
Thank you, that was lovely, I said, pushing my plate away. Catherine, I need to have a word.
David, I think I know what this is about.
Oh, do you?
Your mothers birthday.
Yes. Todays the tenth, and her birthday is on the eighteenth, I said.
And mines on the twentieth. Im sure you havent forgotten? Catherine asked.
Of course I havent, love
David, dont even startIm telling you right awayNO!
But you havent even heard what I wanted to suggest, I protested.
I dont want to hear it! Ive already booked a table for Saturday at the White Swan for ten. Thats eight of my friends, plus you and me. Youre welcome to join, of course. If not, well celebrate without you.
The tricky thing was, my mums birthday fell on the eighteenth of September, and Catherines was on the twentieth. For three years running, as soon as September came along, it was juggling madness for mehow to sort two celebrations without upsetting either Mum or Catherine. So far, I hadnt cracked it.
Catherine, Mum suggests we combine the birthdays this yearboth hers and yourson Saturday, at her flat. It just makes sense, you know. No point spending twice the money gathering everyone on separate days. Thursdays awkward for most, but Saturday works for everyone.
David, who says I want your mums cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews at my celebration? I invited my own friendsyou know all of them, by the way, Catherine replied.
Mum will be upset, I sighed.
And the fact that I was upset last year and the year beforethat doesnt count for anything? Or have you forgotten?
It all seemed fine to me.
Fine? Lets review. The year before last: wed only just married in April, then came September, your mums big birthday. What did you say to me then?
Catherine, Mums turning sixty, and she wants to have a proper family do at home, so lets not make other plans for Saturday!
So there I was, asking for time off work, spent half of Friday and all Saturday morning in your mums kitchen peeling, chopping, cooking, marinatingthe works.
Then on Saturday, I ran like a waitress between the kitchen and lounge. Not a single person congratulated me on my birthday!
Thats not trueZoe remembered! I said.
No! When you reminded your sister Id had a birthday that week, she just smiled and went, Had, as in past tense. No point in bringing it up now, is there?
Well, I did have a word with Mum, and last year you did actually get a toast around the table.
About thatlast year! The twentieth fell on Friday, and once again I cooked all day. When I asked your mum why Zoe wasnt helping out, do you remember what she said?
She said Zoe had her nails done that afternoon. And Saturday morning she was at her beautician and hairdresser.
Exactly. Zoe showed up at the party looking immaculate, and I barely had time to change before guests arrived. Yes, I got a happy birthday that time.
Yes, they lifted a glass to me, then forgot all about me. And, might I add, for two years running, I received no presents from anyone except you and my parents. So perhaps tell your mum not to count on me this year.
But shell never cope by herself.
David, your mums got another sonyouand a daughter, Zoe. I think you can all manage. As for me, my birthdays this Saturday, and I want to spend it with my own friends.
And how am I supposed to explain to everyone why youre not at Mums do? I asked again, helplessly.
David, dont play the innocent. None of them will notice Im missing. Theyll only look for me if theres something to do in the kitchen. I honestly always feel like the odd one out with your family.
Catherine convinced me she had the right to celebrate her birthday however she pleased. But my mum and Zoe thought a daughter-in-law should always stick together with the family.
From then on until the twentieth, Mum and Zoe tried to persuade her to stick to the family tradition and be at Mums Saturday lunch.
Catherine, Mum called one evening, Weve got a lovely tradition, you know. For two years running, weve celebrated both birthdays together, and its been lovely! Why the change of heart? Whats wrong now?
Mrs Smith, its really quite simple: first, I want to celebrate with my own friends; second, Id rather do it at a restaurant, so Im not running between rooms and kitchen all night. I just want to have a nice time for once.
But we all get along so well at home too! Mum argued.
With all due respect, Mrs Smith, youre usually chatting. Im dashing around, fetching and carrying. Thats not my idea of a celebration.
I never imagined youd say no to helping your husbands mother, Mum pouted.
Zoe was less subtle.
Catherine! Enough of the nonsense. Mums already sorted the menu, Dad went to the market for food. Think about what youll be making!
Mum messaged David the shopping list. Stop resisting and thinkdo you really want to pick a fight with your in-laws? The party will be over, and you can see your friends whenever you like.
Zoe, Im not being stubborn. I told your mum weeks ago that I have my own plans. Im sure youll be able to help Mrs Smith perfectly well.
The worst was for me. I had to choose whose party to attendand I didnt want to upset either of them. Catherine hadnt put any pressure on me, but I knew shed be hurt if I skipped her birthday.
From that point, Catherine didnt bring up Saturday again. On Friday afternoon, Mum called her up at work.
Catherine, where are you? I assume youve given up on your silly restaurant plan? Im waitingyou need to start soon or well never be ready by tomorrow!
Mrs Smith! Im at work! I did tell you I wouldnt be helping this time. Zoe is more than capable.
I hope you realise David wont approve of this attitude towards his mother and the family, Mum said coldly.
Marrying David doesnt mean I have to spend my life looking after his relatives parties! Catherine replied. I have my own life, my own friends, and, for that matter, these are Davids friends as well. Im not giving that up to be your cook and dishwasher.
On that cheery note, the call ended.
On Saturday, I took my gift and headed to Mums. Catherine went off to her restaurant, where shed booked the table.
Her friends were all on time. The only empty seat was the one next to her. Nobody asked questionsthey all knew the story.
They greeted her, gave her giftsthe mood was lively, but Catherine kept glancing at the door, hoping Id appear.
And I did, almost an hour late, dashing in clutching a bunch of her favourite yellow roses.
Cathy, I barely escaped! Honestly, I had to make a run for it. You were talked about a lot, by the way. Auntie Ruth was asking Mum why there was no stuffed mushroom saladshe loved it last time, wanted the recipe.
The spread was a bit bare, and Zoe sat sulking all nightbroke two nails helping Mum out.
For the next two years, Catherine was only asked to help with festivities as a consultant, as she was soon expecting and became a mum herself.
When Mrs Smiths next big birthdaysixty-fivecame, the whole family celebrated at a restaurant.
What more could that daughter-in-law want? Everything was perfectly fineyet she still kicked up a fuss! my bewildered mother would mutter.
So, what do you think? Was Catherine right to stand her ground? Leave your thoughts below, give us a thumbs up and follow the pageI always appreciate every single follower!
