Early this morning, my neighbour rang me up and asked,
Have you heard what your cousin’s done?
No, what’s happened?
Apparently, she’s planning to file for divorce at the age of 54, after thirty years of marriage.
That sort of news left me completely stunnedas they say, my jaw dropped. I always thought their family was perfectly ordinary. Her husband doesn’t drink, he’s retired now and nine years older than she is. They have three grown-up children, all living on their own, and already five grandchildren. And suddenly, shes decided to divorce him.
I couldn’t help but wonder if there’d been some misunderstanding. So I rang my cousin and suggested we meet for a calm chat. We agreed to meet in Hyde Park so we could talk openly. What I heard from her really made me think…
“I can’t do it anymore,” she told me. “I’ve been spinning around like a hamster in a wheel all my life. My husband worked and I worked as well, but when we got home, hed collapse on the sofa and watch telly or relax in some wayor maybe go to the pub for a pint with mateswhile I started my second shift at home. I reckon loads of women know exactly what I mean.
You get home from work, and straight away you’re washing clothes, cooking tea, preparing something for tomorrow because the kids will need some food after school. Then there’s tidying up, washing up, hoovering since my husband is ‘tired’ and the children are too busy with homework and activities. And its endless, all these things that any housewife knows by heart.
I used to hope things would ease up once the kids grew up, but I was wrong. The children moved out, my husband retired, and I just carried on working.
Now, my dear husband is at home all the time, or sometimes off fishing, but he never offers to lift a finger at home. He waits for me to get back and expects me to do absolutely everything.
The final straw was when I caught a cold, and when he came back from fishing, he didnt ask how I was or whether I needed anything. Straight to the fridge, he started shouting about there being nothing to eat and said I could have at least boiled some potatoesits hardly difficult, after all.
I told him, if its not difficult, why dont you do it yourself? And his response was:
Why do I need a wife if I’m going to cook for myself?
When I heard that, I said Id had enoughwere getting divorced. Well split the flat, and live separately. I want to spend at least a bit of my life on myself.
The children weren’t happy with my decision. They said I was leaving him alone, that he couldnt do anything for himself, and he’d just waste away.
But honestly, I dont care anymore. He brought this upon himself. If he doesnt appreciate what he has, let him see what its like.
Thats how it is. Maybe things will settle down, but my cousin has made up her mind.
I do have my doubts, thoughbeing left on your own in your later years isnt easy.
What do you think?
