Walton Merritt

Gone and Good Riddance “What do you mean ‘the number you have called is not available’? I just spoke to him five minutes ago!” Natasha stood in the hallway, phone pressed tightly to her ear. She glanced over at the chest of drawers. The jewellery box was still there—but something looked off. The lid wasn’t quite shut. “Rom?” She called deeper into the flat. “Are you in the bathroom?” Natasha slowly made her way to the dresser. As soon as her hand touched the polished wood, a chill ran down her spine—the jewellery box was completely empty. Even the receipt she’d used as a bookmark was gone. Her jewellery, her money—everything had disappeared. Though, she reminded herself bitterly, she’d handed over the cash herself… “Oh God…” she whispered, sinking to the floor. “How could this happen? We just argued about wallpaper yesterday… You promised we’d go to Cornwall in August…” But it had all started so ordinarily. Last June, Natasha’s little runabout seized up with a broken piston. The mechanic quoted a price she couldn’t stomach, so, frustrated, she posted on her county’s “Auto-Help” Facebook group. “Guys, does anyone know if it’s possible to free up a stuck brake piston yourself? Adding a photo of my filthy wheel.” Comments poured in. Some told her not to mess with it, others advised buying a new part altogether. Then came a message from a Roman85: “Don’t listen to them, love. Get a can of WD-40 and a £3 repair kit. Take the wheel off, gently press the piston out with the brake pedal—but don’t push it too far. Clean everything with brake fluid, grease it up. If the cylinder’s smooth inside, it’ll run sweet as a nut.” Natasha took note—his advice was clear and unpretentious. “What if the cylinder’s pitted?” she asked. “Then you’ll need a replacement. But from your photo, looks a well-kept motor. If you get stuck, message me—happy to help.” And that’s how it started. Roman proved to be a whiz with cars. Within a week he’d walked her through changing the oil, picking spark plugs, even which coolant to avoid. She caught herself looking forward to his messages. “You’re a lifesaver, Rom,” she wrote by the end of July. “Listen, maybe we could meet up? Coffee on me. Or something stronger, with what you’ve saved me!” The reply didn’t come straight away. After about three hours, her phone finally lit up. “I’d love to, Natasha. Truly. But I’m… away with work. Overseas. For quite a while.” “Really?” she replied. “Whereabouts?” “Further than you can imagine. Look—I’ll be honest. I’m not on a business trip. I’m serving a sentence. HMP Dartmoor, if you know it.” Natasha dropped her phone onto the sofa, her heart pounding. An inmate? She, a respectable accountant at a large firm, had been chatting to a convict for weeks? “What for?” she typed, her fingers trembling. “Fraud. Fancied myself a clever clogs, got stitched up, played along. Less than a year left. If you want to stop messaging, I’ll understand.” Natasha didn’t reply. She blocked him and wandered in a daze for three days. Her colleagues asked if she was unwell. Why? she kept wondering. Why did someone so smart, so good with his hands, end up in prison? A week later, she found a new message in her inbox. Roman had once asked for her email—she’d never deleted the contact, only closed the chat. “Natasha,” he wrote. “No hard feelings, honestly. I always knew it would end like this. You’re a bright soul. Guys like me don’t belong in your world. Just wanted to say thanks for talking to me. That was the best fortnight I’ve had in years. Be happy. Goodbye.” She read it at the kitchen table and burst into tears. She felt sorry for him, for herself, for this unfair life. Why does luck always pass me by? she thought. Married men, mummy’s boys, and now the only normal bloke is behind bars. But she never replied again… *** She tried dating but it was hopeless. One date spent half the night going on about his stamp collection, another showed up with dirty fingernails and asked to split the bill. In March, on her thirty-fifth birthday, Natasha felt more alone than ever. That morning, a message popped up. “Happy birthday, Natasha! I know I shouldn’t reach out, but I couldn’t stop myself. Wishing you the very best. You deserve to be cherished. Made you something out of bread and wire… If I could, I’d give it to you. Just know that somewhere out in Birmingham, someone is drinking a really terrible cup of tea to your health today.” “Thank you, Rom,” she replied, giving in. “That means a lot.” “You answered! How are you? How’s the little car? Did it survive those frosty nights?” And things picked up where they left off. Now they talked every day. Rom would ring her whenever he could—his voice deep, a little hoarse. He told her about growing up with his brother, how his nephew needed raising now, how all he wanted was a fresh start. “I won’t go back to my old town, Natasha—too many old mates who’ll pull me down again. I want to move somewhere no one knows me. I’ve got hands, I can work construction or fix cars, always work to be found.” “Where do you want to go?” she asked breathlessly. “I’d come to you, if you’ll have me. Get a room or a cheap flat. Just to know you’re in the same city, breathing the same air. But no pressure, of course…” By May, Natasha was hopelessly in love. She knew his inspection schedule, when he had “washroom duty”, when he was working in the shop. She sent him care packages: tea, sweets, warm socks, little parts for his handiwork. “Romka, just keep your head down and behave, please—no getting into scraps for my sake.” “For you, love, I’ll be as good as gold,” he laughed. “I’m free in April!” “I’ll be waiting.” *** In April, Natasha drove up to the prison gates. She brought him new clothes: jacket, jeans, trainers. Her heart hammered—she thought it might burst out of her chest. When he came out—short, stocky, close-cropped greying hair—she froze at first. He looked different from his photo. But when he smiled and said, “Hello, boss,” she flung her arms round his neck. “Oh, thank God you’re here,” she murmured into his prickly cheek. “Where else would I be?” he pulled her close. “You smell amazing. What sort of flowery perfume is that?” They went back to hers. The first week was a dream. Roman got stuck in straight away: fixed a leaky tap, sorted a door lock that had jammed for months. Every evening they sat together in the kitchen, drinking sweet rosé, swapping stories—he laughed about his “old life”, skipping over the darker bits. “Listen, Rom,” she said on day ten, “you know you said about getting your own place… maybe you don’t have to? There’s room here. It’d be more fun with two. Besides, you’ll save for tools and getting yourself set up.” “Natasha, it feels wrong,” he frowned, stirring sugar into his mug. “I’m a man, I should provide a home. I’m already living off you—eating your food…” “Oh, stop it!” she covered his hand with hers. “We’re not strangers. Once you’re on your feet and working, it’ll all be fine.” “My brother called yesterday,” he said, looking away. “My nephew’s really poorly—needs an operation, private one. He’s asked me for a loan, but you see the state I’m in—flat broke. I feel so ashamed, Natasha. Ashamed for my family.” “How much does he need?” she asked gently. “A lot… Five grand. But he says they’ve already raised part.” “I could go up to London on a site, earn good money quickly…” he mused aloud. Natasha hesitated. That five grand had taken three years to save. She’d scrimped and saved, planning to redo the bathroom, replace the old tiles, finally install a proper shower… “I’ve got the money,” she said quietly. Roman’s head jerked up. “Don’t be daft! That’s yours. I couldn’t take it.” “Rom, it’s your family. Like you said, that’s sacred. Take it—you can pay me back later. We’re in this together now.” He protested for two days, brooding and chain-smoking on the balcony, even though he’d promised to give up. In the end, Natasha got the cash out and set it on the table herself. “Here. Take it. Go to your brother, give it to him—or transfer it if you’d rather.” “I’ll deliver it myself,” he said, hugging her. “Maybe see if there’s work where he lives. Better options, you know? I’ll just be gone two days. There and back. Promise…” *** Natasha sat slumped on the hallway floor for an hour. Her legs were numb, but she barely felt it. She replayed the night before. They’d watched some daft comedy, he’d laughed, hugged her, and she’d felt like the luckiest woman alive. “I’ll probably leave early, day after tomorrow,” he’d said before bed. But he left a day sooner. She’d slept through it—never even heard him getting dressed. She thought the front door had banged in her dream, but assumed it was the neighbours. At two in the afternoon, she nervously dialled his brother’s number—the one he’d once given her “in case of emergency”. “Hello?” came a rough man’s voice. “Who’s this?” “Hi… It’s Natasha. Roman’s friend. Did he make it to you today?” A pause. Then a long, heavy sigh. “Miss, what Roman? My brother’s got a different name, and he’s not out of prison till October. Roman… Roman’s my ex-cellmate. He got out two months ago. He nicked my phone when I was still inside and copied all my contacts. You’re not the first ‘pen-pal’ he’s spun a story to. Tongue like Teflon, degree in engineering—the lot.” Natasha lowered the phone, stunned. She remembered how he’d coached her fitting new spark plugs. “Careful not to overtighten,” he’d warned. “You’ll strip the thread, and that’s that.” “I stripped it,” Natasha whispered. “Stripped the lot… set myself up for this.” And she realised she truly knew nothing about him—never even saw his passport or prison release papers. Was his name even Roman at all? *** Naturally, Natasha went to the police and filed a report. She showed them a photo, and learned a lot more about her houseguest. His name really was Roman—about the only true thing he’d told her. He’d gone down for a serious offence, spent half his life inside—met Natasha while serving his third sentence. Natasha crossed herself, changed all the locks, and figured in the end she’d got off lightly—compared to some of his previous women…

Gone for Good What do you mean the number youve dialed has not been recognised? But he was speaking to

La vida

08

The Daytime Cuckoo Outstayed Her Welcome — “She has got to be joking!” Sasha erupted. “Yura, get in here! Now!” Her husband, who’d just kicked off his trainers in the hallway, popped his head into the doorway, loosening his shirt collar. “Sash, what is it this time? I’ve literally just finished work and my head is splitting…” “What is it?!” Sasha pointed at the edge of the bath. “Take a good look. Where’s my shampoo? Where’s my hair mask—the one I bought yesterday?” Yura squinted at the neat row of bottles. There stood a massive bottle of tar shampoo, an oversized “Nettle & Burdock” conditioner, and a heavy glass jar of some thick brown cream. “Uh… Mum brought her own toiletries. Maybe it’s easier for her to have everything at hand?” he mumbled, avoiding her glare. “Easier? Yura, she doesn’t even live here! Now look down.” Sasha crouched and pulled a plastic basin from under the bath. In it lay her expensive French products, her loofah, and her razor. “What is this, Yura? She dumped all my things into this grotty old basin and lined up her stuff on display!” She’s decided my things belong next to the mop while her precious ‘Burdock’ gets pride of place!” Yura heaved a sigh. “Sash, don’t start. Mum’s having a rough time, you know that. Look, I’ll put your things back and then we can have dinner—Mum’s made stuffed cabbage, by the way.” “I’m not having her stuffed cabbage,” Sasha snapped. “Why is she always hanging about here, Yura?! Why does she act like she owns my house?!” I feel like a lodger, lucky for toilet access. Sasha shoved past him and stormed off, while Yura quietly nudged her basin back under the bath with his foot. The housing headache that’s ruined the lives of millions never touched Yura and Sasha. Yura’s spacious modern one-bed flat, inherited from his grandfather; Sasha’s comfy little place from her grandmother. After their wedding, they moved into his place—for the fresh decor and the air conditioning—and rented Sasha’s out to a nice family. Relations with Yura’s parents were maintained in a state of polite neutrality, occasionally drifting into gentle fondness. Svetlana and her reserved husband Victor lived clear across town. Once a week: tea, obligatory questions about work and health, swapped smiles. “Oh, Sasha darling, you’ve lost even more weight,” Svetlana would remark, handing her a too-large slice of Battenberg. “Yura! Aren’t you feeding your wife?” “Mum, we just go to the gym,” Yura would shrug. That was that. No surprise visits, no household advice. Sasha even bragged to friends: “I lucked out with my mother-in-law. She’s pure gold—never interferes, never nags, never fusses at Yura.” Everything changed on a rain-soaked Tuesday when Victor, after thirty-two years with Svetlana, packed his bag, left a note—“Gone to the coast, don’t look for me!”—blocked her everywhere and vanished. Turns out “midlife crisis” wasn’t just an expression, but a forty-something health-spa manager in Brighton where they’d holidayed for three summers. Svetlana’s world collapsed. The weeping started, along with late-night calls and endless nitpicking: “How could he? Why? Sasha darling, how could this happen?!” At first, Sasha sympathised. She fetched calming teas, listened to the same tales, and nodded politely as Svetlana damned her “roving old fool.” But her patience wore thin as the “poor me” chorus grated on her nerves. “Yura, your mum’s called five times—before lunch,” Sasha sighed at breakfast. “She asked you to go fit a lightbulb. In her corridor. When will this end?” His face fell. “She’s lonely, Sash. You know she lived her whole life depending on Dad, and now…” “Look, she could just call someone in—or do it herself. But it has to be you. Or me. Why should I care?” Sleepovers followed—Yura started staying at his mum’s. “Sash, Mum’s scared to sleep alone,” he’d mutter, stuffing a bag. “The quiet gets to her. I’ll be back in a few days, okay?” “A few days?” Sasha frowned. “Yura, we’ve only just married and you’re already moving out half the week. I don’t want to sleep alone.” “Babe, it’s only for a bit. She’ll get through it…” ‘Only’ lasted a month. Svetlana insisted—her son must camp at her place four nights a week. There were faked dizzy spells, panics, even self-made blocked sinks. Sasha watched her husband drain himself running between two homes—and made the mistake that would haunt her daily. *** She decided to clear the air with her mother-in-law. “Listen, Svetlana,” she ventured during Sunday lunch, “If it’s so hard for you alone in your flat, why not come here during the day?” Yura would be at work; Sasha often worked from home. She’d have the city centre, parks; Sasha expected a couple visits a week, arriving around noon, leaving before Yura. But Svetlana had her own plan—she showed up at exactly 7am. “Who’s that?” muttered Yura, sleepily at the doorbell. He answered it. “It’s me!” came Svetlana’s cheery voice. “Brought you some lovely fresh cottage cheese!” Sasha pulled the duvet over her head. “For heaven’s sake…” she hissed. “Yura, it’s seven a.m.! Where does she even get ‘fresh’ cottage cheese at this hour?” “Mum’s an early riser,” Yura muttered, pulling on trousers. “Go back to sleep. I’ll let her in.” From then on, life became hell. Svetlana didn’t just drop by—she colonised the flat for a full eight hours. Sasha tried working at her laptop, but the running commentary never stopped: “Sash, how haven’t you dusted the telly? I found a cloth—let’s just sort that.” “Svetlana, I’m working—I have a call in five minutes!” “Oh, you and your ‘calls,’ just watching videos. By the way, darling, you’re ironing Yura’s shirts all wrong. The creases should be razor-sharp.” Let me show you, while you wait for your so-called ‘clients.’ Everything was criticised. How she sliced veg: “Yura likes them in matchsticks, not cubes like school dinners.” How she made the bed: “The bedspread should touch the floor, not hover midway.” The bathroom’s aroma: “Should be fresh and sweet, not damp and musty.” “Sash, don’t take it personally,” came Svetlana’s voice over her shoulder at the hob. “Your soup’s too salty. Yura’s stomach is sensitive, you know.” Sasha was close to exploding by lunchtime—she’d leave for a café just to avoid the constant criticism, then return home even more upset. First, a garish mug—“Best Mum Ever”—appeared in the kitchen. Next, her spare mac hung in the hallway; then, a whole shelf in the wardrobe for “change of clothes” and a couple old lady dressing gowns. “Why do you need dressing gowns here?” Sasha asked, discovering the fluffy pink monstrosity in with her silks. “Well, my dear, I’m here all day—I get tired, want to change into something comfy. We’re family now—why are you so cross?” To every complaint, Yura replied the same way: “Sash, be kind. She’s had it tough. Just let her feel at home. Does it really hurt to sacrifice a shelf?” “It’s not the shelf, Yura—your mum is edging me out of my own home!” “You’re exaggerating. She helps—cooks, cleans; you always said you hated ironing.” “I’d rather look crumpled than wear anything she’s ironed!” Sasha barked. But her husband just wouldn’t listen. *** The bottles in the bath tipped her over the edge. “Yura, come eat—your food’s going cold!” Svetlana called from the kitchen. “Sasha, love, I left the hot sauce off yours—knew you wouldn’t want it.” Sasha stormed to the kitchen. “Svetlana, why did you move my things under the bath?” Svetlana didn’t even blink. She set a fork beside Yura’s plate and smiled. “Oh those old bottles? They were nearly empty, taking up space. And the smell—knocked me sick. I put out my tried and tested ones. Yours are fine down there until you need them—keeps things neat.” “I mind,” said Sasha. “This is my bathroom. My things. My home!” “Oh, don’t be silly, love—this is Yura’s flat. Of course you’re the woman of the house, but still… a little respect for your husband’s mother wouldn’t hurt.” Yura, hovering in the doorway, paled. “Mum, come on… Sasha’s got a flat too—we just live here…” “What, that old granny-flat?” Svetlana scoffed. “Yura, eat up. See, your wife’s in a mood—probably just hungry.” Sasha looked at her husband, waiting: Waiting for him to say: “Mum, enough. You’ve crossed a line. Pack up and go home.” Yura hesitated, glanced between them both—and just sat down. “Sash, come eat. Let’s just talk it over. Mum, you shouldn’t have moved Sasha’s things…” “See!” Svetlana cried triumphantly. “My son gets it. You’re just being selfish, Sasha. Family means sharing everything.” Sasha’s last thread of patience snapped. “Everything shared?” she repeated coldly. “Fine.” She turned and walked out. Yura called after her but she ignored him, packing her bags in under twenty minutes, leaving Svetlana’s “tried and tested” products in place. She left to the soundtrack of her husband’s pleading and her mother-in-law’s not-so-subtle jibes. *** Sasha had no intention of returning to her husband; she filed for divorce almost immediately after her “escape.” Her soon-to-be-ex rings her daily, begging her to come home, while his mother quietly ferries more of her things into his flat. And Sasha is certain—that’s all her mother-in-law ever wanted.

The Daytime Cuckoo Out-Cuckooed Us All For heavens sake, shes having a laugh! Lucy huffed. James!

La vida

062

The Daytime Cuckoo Outstayed Her Welcome — “She has got to be joking!” Sasha erupted. “Yura, get in here! Now!” Her husband, who’d just kicked off his trainers in the hallway, popped his head into the doorway, loosening his shirt collar. “Sash, what is it this time? I’ve literally just finished work and my head is splitting…” “What is it?!” Sasha pointed at the edge of the bath. “Take a good look. Where’s my shampoo? Where’s my hair mask—the one I bought yesterday?” Yura squinted at the neat row of bottles. There stood a massive bottle of tar shampoo, an oversized “Nettle & Burdock” conditioner, and a heavy glass jar of some thick brown cream. “Uh… Mum brought her own toiletries. Maybe it’s easier for her to have everything at hand?” he mumbled, avoiding her glare. “Easier? Yura, she doesn’t even live here! Now look down.” Sasha crouched and pulled a plastic basin from under the bath. In it lay her expensive French products, her loofah, and her razor. “What is this, Yura? She dumped all my things into this grotty old basin and lined up her stuff on display!” She’s decided my things belong next to the mop while her precious ‘Burdock’ gets pride of place!” Yura heaved a sigh. “Sash, don’t start. Mum’s having a rough time, you know that. Look, I’ll put your things back and then we can have dinner—Mum’s made stuffed cabbage, by the way.” “I’m not having her stuffed cabbage,” Sasha snapped. “Why is she always hanging about here, Yura?! Why does she act like she owns my house?!” I feel like a lodger, lucky for toilet access. Sasha shoved past him and stormed off, while Yura quietly nudged her basin back under the bath with his foot. The housing headache that’s ruined the lives of millions never touched Yura and Sasha. Yura’s spacious modern one-bed flat, inherited from his grandfather; Sasha’s comfy little place from her grandmother. After their wedding, they moved into his place—for the fresh decor and the air conditioning—and rented Sasha’s out to a nice family. Relations with Yura’s parents were maintained in a state of polite neutrality, occasionally drifting into gentle fondness. Svetlana and her reserved husband Victor lived clear across town. Once a week: tea, obligatory questions about work and health, swapped smiles. “Oh, Sasha darling, you’ve lost even more weight,” Svetlana would remark, handing her a too-large slice of Battenberg. “Yura! Aren’t you feeding your wife?” “Mum, we just go to the gym,” Yura would shrug. That was that. No surprise visits, no household advice. Sasha even bragged to friends: “I lucked out with my mother-in-law. She’s pure gold—never interferes, never nags, never fusses at Yura.” Everything changed on a rain-soaked Tuesday when Victor, after thirty-two years with Svetlana, packed his bag, left a note—“Gone to the coast, don’t look for me!”—blocked her everywhere and vanished. Turns out “midlife crisis” wasn’t just an expression, but a forty-something health-spa manager in Brighton where they’d holidayed for three summers. Svetlana’s world collapsed. The weeping started, along with late-night calls and endless nitpicking: “How could he? Why? Sasha darling, how could this happen?!” At first, Sasha sympathised. She fetched calming teas, listened to the same tales, and nodded politely as Svetlana damned her “roving old fool.” But her patience wore thin as the “poor me” chorus grated on her nerves. “Yura, your mum’s called five times—before lunch,” Sasha sighed at breakfast. “She asked you to go fit a lightbulb. In her corridor. When will this end?” His face fell. “She’s lonely, Sash. You know she lived her whole life depending on Dad, and now…” “Look, she could just call someone in—or do it herself. But it has to be you. Or me. Why should I care?” Sleepovers followed—Yura started staying at his mum’s. “Sash, Mum’s scared to sleep alone,” he’d mutter, stuffing a bag. “The quiet gets to her. I’ll be back in a few days, okay?” “A few days?” Sasha frowned. “Yura, we’ve only just married and you’re already moving out half the week. I don’t want to sleep alone.” “Babe, it’s only for a bit. She’ll get through it…” ‘Only’ lasted a month. Svetlana insisted—her son must camp at her place four nights a week. There were faked dizzy spells, panics, even self-made blocked sinks. Sasha watched her husband drain himself running between two homes—and made the mistake that would haunt her daily. *** She decided to clear the air with her mother-in-law. “Listen, Svetlana,” she ventured during Sunday lunch, “If it’s so hard for you alone in your flat, why not come here during the day?” Yura would be at work; Sasha often worked from home. She’d have the city centre, parks; Sasha expected a couple visits a week, arriving around noon, leaving before Yura. But Svetlana had her own plan—she showed up at exactly 7am. “Who’s that?” muttered Yura, sleepily at the doorbell. He answered it. “It’s me!” came Svetlana’s cheery voice. “Brought you some lovely fresh cottage cheese!” Sasha pulled the duvet over her head. “For heaven’s sake…” she hissed. “Yura, it’s seven a.m.! Where does she even get ‘fresh’ cottage cheese at this hour?” “Mum’s an early riser,” Yura muttered, pulling on trousers. “Go back to sleep. I’ll let her in.” From then on, life became hell. Svetlana didn’t just drop by—she colonised the flat for a full eight hours. Sasha tried working at her laptop, but the running commentary never stopped: “Sash, how haven’t you dusted the telly? I found a cloth—let’s just sort that.” “Svetlana, I’m working—I have a call in five minutes!” “Oh, you and your ‘calls,’ just watching videos. By the way, darling, you’re ironing Yura’s shirts all wrong. The creases should be razor-sharp.” Let me show you, while you wait for your so-called ‘clients.’ Everything was criticised. How she sliced veg: “Yura likes them in matchsticks, not cubes like school dinners.” How she made the bed: “The bedspread should touch the floor, not hover midway.” The bathroom’s aroma: “Should be fresh and sweet, not damp and musty.” “Sash, don’t take it personally,” came Svetlana’s voice over her shoulder at the hob. “Your soup’s too salty. Yura’s stomach is sensitive, you know.” Sasha was close to exploding by lunchtime—she’d leave for a café just to avoid the constant criticism, then return home even more upset. First, a garish mug—“Best Mum Ever”—appeared in the kitchen. Next, her spare mac hung in the hallway; then, a whole shelf in the wardrobe for “change of clothes” and a couple old lady dressing gowns. “Why do you need dressing gowns here?” Sasha asked, discovering the fluffy pink monstrosity in with her silks. “Well, my dear, I’m here all day—I get tired, want to change into something comfy. We’re family now—why are you so cross?” To every complaint, Yura replied the same way: “Sash, be kind. She’s had it tough. Just let her feel at home. Does it really hurt to sacrifice a shelf?” “It’s not the shelf, Yura—your mum is edging me out of my own home!” “You’re exaggerating. She helps—cooks, cleans; you always said you hated ironing.” “I’d rather look crumpled than wear anything she’s ironed!” Sasha barked. But her husband just wouldn’t listen. *** The bottles in the bath tipped her over the edge. “Yura, come eat—your food’s going cold!” Svetlana called from the kitchen. “Sasha, love, I left the hot sauce off yours—knew you wouldn’t want it.” Sasha stormed to the kitchen. “Svetlana, why did you move my things under the bath?” Svetlana didn’t even blink. She set a fork beside Yura’s plate and smiled. “Oh those old bottles? They were nearly empty, taking up space. And the smell—knocked me sick. I put out my tried and tested ones. Yours are fine down there until you need them—keeps things neat.” “I mind,” said Sasha. “This is my bathroom. My things. My home!” “Oh, don’t be silly, love—this is Yura’s flat. Of course you’re the woman of the house, but still… a little respect for your husband’s mother wouldn’t hurt.” Yura, hovering in the doorway, paled. “Mum, come on… Sasha’s got a flat too—we just live here…” “What, that old granny-flat?” Svetlana scoffed. “Yura, eat up. See, your wife’s in a mood—probably just hungry.” Sasha looked at her husband, waiting: Waiting for him to say: “Mum, enough. You’ve crossed a line. Pack up and go home.” Yura hesitated, glanced between them both—and just sat down. “Sash, come eat. Let’s just talk it over. Mum, you shouldn’t have moved Sasha’s things…” “See!” Svetlana cried triumphantly. “My son gets it. You’re just being selfish, Sasha. Family means sharing everything.” Sasha’s last thread of patience snapped. “Everything shared?” she repeated coldly. “Fine.” She turned and walked out. Yura called after her but she ignored him, packing her bags in under twenty minutes, leaving Svetlana’s “tried and tested” products in place. She left to the soundtrack of her husband’s pleading and her mother-in-law’s not-so-subtle jibes. *** Sasha had no intention of returning to her husband; she filed for divorce almost immediately after her “escape.” Her soon-to-be-ex rings her daily, begging her to come home, while his mother quietly ferries more of her things into his flat. And Sasha is certain—that’s all her mother-in-law ever wanted.

The Daytime Cuckoo Out-Cuckooed Us All For heavens sake, shes having a laugh! Lucy huffed. James!

La vida

0357

“It’s Time You Grew Up,” Said Anna to Her Husband. His Reaction Left Her Furious – What’s It Like Living With a Forty-Year-Old Teenage Man and Choosing Between Your Family and Your Irresponsible Brother?

Time to Grow Up Thats What I Told My Husband. His Response Left Me Speechless How do you feel about living

La vida

045

“If You Don’t Like It, You Can Leave!” – Julia Finally Stands Up to Her Unwelcome Relatives Julia had spent thirty years in silence. If her husband spoke, she nodded. If her mother-in-law arrived unannounced, Julia put the kettle on. When her sister-in-law showed up with suitcases, Julia put her up in the spare room—“Just for a couple of days,” her guest would say, but three months would pass. Julia just gritted her teeth, not wanting to seem a troublemaker or a heartless wife, while everyone slowly took over her life and home. Her husband Anatoly was a simple, no-nonsense man, fond of dinner toasts and a grumble about the boss. He called Julia his “little housekeeper” and never understood her late-night tears. After he died, Julia was left alone in her three-bedroom flat in East London. The family came and went after the funeral, and Julia thought: perhaps now I’ll get some peace. But that was just the beginning. Her sister-in-law called next, insisting her grown son needed to stay “just until uni starts.” Soon enough, Julia’s home was overtaken—dirty plates, loud music, demands for more. Later, her late husband’s daughter arrived, full of old grievances and claims on the flat. Julia tried, gently and then more firmly, to explain the situation. But the relatives didn’t want understanding; they wanted to carve up her flat. With every visit, the pressure grew: “Why do you need three bedrooms alone? Sell it and help the family! Be fair to the kids!” One day, sitting at her own kitchen table as they discussed her home like it was community property, Julia looked at them—and found her courage. “If you don’t like it,” she said quietly, “you can leave.” A stunned silence followed, then the outrage began. But Julia stood her ground. In that moment, decades of silent patience finally ended. She told them—all of them—to pack up and go for good. After thirty years of pleasing everyone else, Julia finally chose herself. Now, learning to live her own life, independence feels strange but liberating. And as the door finally closes on her demanding relatives, Julia discovers the happiness of saying “no”—and not being afraid to be alone. Have you ever had to stand up to family outstaying their welcome? Share your story and don’t forget to subscribe for more real-life tales!

Dont like it? Youre free to leave, I told my unwanted guests. For thirty years, I kept my mouth shut.

La vida

055

My Cheeky Allotment Neighbour Thought My Veggies Were Up for Grabs—But I Taught Her a Lesson She Won’t Forget

Oh come on now, love, dont be like thatwhats a couple of cucumbers between neighbours, eh? Yours will

La vida

0257

My Mother-in-Law Gave Me Her Old Clothes for My 30th Birthday – And I Didn’t Hide My Disappointment

So, why on earth did you use that cheap mayo in the potato salad? I told you, get the proper stuff, the

La vida

0286

My Husband’s Relatives Turned Up at My Countryside Cottage Expecting a Holiday—So I Handed Them Spades and Rakes Instead

“Come on, love, will you open that gate? Guests are waiting!” Barbaras voice, sharp and clear

La vida

025

My Husband’s Relatives Turned Up at My Countryside Cottage Expecting a Holiday—So I Handed Them Spades and Rakes Instead

“Come on, love, will you open that gate? Guests are waiting!” Barbaras voice, sharp and clear

La vida

0155

My Mother-in-Law Decided to Rifle Through My Cupboards While I Was Out—But I Was Ready For Her

Why do you have pillowcases from different sets on your bed? The words, from Susan Hartley, slipped out