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014
You Should Have Warned Me—I Didn’t Prepare Anything! Do You Know How Much It Costs to Host Guests?! Screamed My Mother-in-law I’m Just a Normal, Working Daughter-in-law—No Crown on My Head. My Husband and I Live in Our Own City Flat, Juggling Mortgage, Bills, and Jobs from Morning till Night. My Mother-in-law Lives in the Countryside, Along with My Sister-in-law. It Would All Be Fine, If Only They Didn’t Treat Our Place Like a Weekend Getaway. At First, It Seemed Sweet: ‘We’ll Just Pop Over This Saturday.’ ‘Just for a Bit.’ ‘We’re Family, After All.’ Just for a Bit—Means They Stay the Night; Pop Over—Means They Arrive with Empty Bags, Pots, and Eyes Expecting a Feast. Every Weekend It’s the Same: After Work, I Rush Through Supermarkets, Cook, Clean, Set the Table, Smile for Hours, Then Stay Up Washing Dishes. Valentina Sits and Critiques: ‘Why’s the Salad Missing Sweetcorn?’ ‘My Favourite Borscht Is Thicker Than This.’ ‘We’d Never Make it Like This in the Village.’ My Sister-in-law Chimes In: ‘Oh, The Journey Was Exhausting.’ ‘No Dessert?’ And Never a ‘Thank You,’ or ‘Need a Hand?’ One Day I Said to My Husband: ‘I’m Not a Maid, and I Don’t Want to Spend Every Weekend Catering Your Family.’ ‘Maybe We Really Should Do Something About This.’ That’s When I Had an Idea. Next Time My Mother-in-law Called: ‘We’re Coming Over Saturday!’ ‘Oh, We’ve Got Plans for the Weekend,’ I Said Calmly. ‘What Plans?’ ‘Just Our Own.’ And You Know What? We Did Have Plans—But at Valentina’s Place. Saturday Morning, My Husband and I Were Standing on Her Doorstep. She Opened the Door—And Froze. ‘What’s This?!’ ‘We’re Visiting You. Just for a Bit.’ ‘You Should Have Warned Me—I Didn’t Prepare Anything! Do You Know How Much It Costs to Host Guests!?’ I Looked Her in the Eye and Said Calmly: ‘See? This Is How I Live Every Weekend.’ ‘So You’re Trying to Teach Me a Lesson? How Dare You!’ She Yelled So Loud The Neighbours Looked Over—and We Went Home. Here’s the Best Part: Since Then, No More Visits Without an Invitation. No More ‘Just Popping Over’ and No More Weekends Gone in My Kitchen. Sometimes, To Be Heard, You Just Need To Show People What It’s Like To Walk in Your Shoes. Do You Think I Did the Right Thing? What Would You Do in My Place?
One must really give fair warning; I wasnt at all prepared! Do you know how much it costs to host guests?
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05
“The Silent Gift: Five Years of Waiting, a Miracle at the Garden Gate, and How Our Deaf Son’s Art Taught Us What Family Truly Means”
“James, we’ve waited five years. Five. Doctors say theres no chance of children for us.
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03
You’ll Find Your Fate—No Need to Rush, Everything Happens in Its Own Time: Polina’s Quirky New Year’s Tradition of Visiting a Fortune Teller Leads Her on an Unexpected Train Journey, Where She Discovers Destiny and the True Meaning of Holiday Magic Among Strangers in a Big City
Youll find your fate. No need to hurry. All in good time. There was a curious tradition I once kept
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04
“Gran, Hello! — Matvey Shouted. — Who Gave You Permission to Keep a Wolf in the Village?”
Gran Alice! I cried, bursting through the gate. Who ever gave you permission to keep a wolf in the village?
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08
Breaking Free from Mother’s Shadow: At Thirty-Five, Barbara Begins Her Journey to Independence, Self-Love, and Happiness After a Lifetime Under the Control of Her Glamorous but Overbearing Mum
Under the Thumb of Her Mother At thirty-five, Mildred was a reserved and, as people say, rather downtrodden
La vida
05
I don’t know how to write this without it sounding like a cheap drama, but this is the boldest thing anyone’s ever done to me. I’ve lived with my husband for years, and the second person in this story is his mother, who’s always been far too close to our marriage. Until now, I thought she was just one of those interfering mums, but “with good intentions.” Turns out, her intentions weren’t good at all. A few months ago, he convinced me to sign papers for a home. He told me we’d finally have something of our own, that renting was pointless, and that if we didn’t do this now, we’d regret it later. I was thrilled because I’d long dreamed of having a home, not living out of suitcases and boxes. I signed without a second thought, believing this was a family decision. The first red flag was when he started running errands at banks and offices by himself. Every time he’d say it wasn’t worth my time, that it was easier for him alone. He’d come back with folders and leave them in the hallway cupboard, but never wanted me to look inside. If I asked questions, he’d toss out complicated words, as if I was a child and couldn’t understand. I told myself men just like to be in control of these things. Then the “little” financial games began. Suddenly, bills were harder to pay, even though his salary hadn’t changed. He kept persuading me to pitch in more because “right now, it’s what’s needed,” and that soon he’d make it up to me. I started covering the shop, part of the mortgage, repairs, furniture, all because we were “building our future.” Eventually I stopped buying anything for myself, convinced it was all worth it. Then one day, as I was cleaning, I found a printout in the kitchen, folded into quarters under the napkins. It wasn’t an electricity bill or anything ordinary. It was a stamped document with a date, stating clearly who owned the property. It wasn’t my name. It wasn’t his. It was his mother’s name. I stood by the sink, reading those lines over and over because my brain refused to accept it. I was paying, we’d taken out a loan, fixed up the flat, bought furniture, and the owner turned out to be his mum. In that moment, I felt hot—humiliated, not jealous. When he came home, I didn’t make a scene. I just put the document on the table and looked at him. No gentle asking, no pleading for explanation, just stared because I was done being played. He wasn’t even surprised. Didn’t ask “What is this?” Just sighed, like I was causing trouble by finding out. Then began the boldest “explanation” I’ve ever heard. He said it was “more secure” this way, that his mum was the “guarantor,” and that if anything ever happened between us, the home wouldn’t need to be split. He said it calmly, as if explaining why we bought a washing machine instead of a dryer. I almost laughed at the helplessness. This wasn’t a family investment. It was a plan for me to pay and, in the end, leave with just a bag of clothes. The worst part wasn’t just the document. The worst part was that his mum clearly knew everything. That same evening she rang me up, lecturing me like I was the one out of line. Explaining that she’s “only helping,” that the home must be “in safe hands,” that I shouldn’t take it personally. Imagine it—I pay, make sacrifices, compromise, and she talks about “safe hands.” After that, I started digging—not out of curiosity, but because I no longer trusted anyone. I checked statements, transfers, dates. And then I discovered something even uglier. The mortgage wasn’t just “our loan” as he’d told me. There was an extra debt being paid, using my money, and when I looked closer, I saw that some payments were going towards an old debt—his mother’s debt, not ours. In other words, I wasn’t only paying for a home I didn’t own. I was paying off someone else’s debt, disguised as a family need. That was the moment the scales fell from my eyes. Suddenly every scenario from the past years made sense. How she meddles in everything. How he always defends her. How I’m always “the one who doesn’t understand.” How we’re supposed to be partners, yet decisions are made between them, and I’m just there to fund it. The most painful part was realising I’d simply been convenient. Not loved. Convenient. The woman who works, pays up, and doesn’t ask too many questions because she just wants peace. But the peace in this home was clearly theirs, not mine. I didn’t cry. Didn’t even shout. I sat in the bedroom and started doing the maths. What I’d given, what I’d paid, what was left. For the first time, I saw in black and white how many years I’d hoped and how easily I’d been used. It hurt less about the money than about how I’d been made a fool of with a smile. The next day I did what I never imagined I’d ever do. I opened a new account in just my name and transferred all my personal income there. I changed all my passwords and took away his access. Stopped contributing “for us,” because “us” apparently meant just my effort. And most importantly—I started gathering documents and proof, because I don’t believe in stories anymore. Now we still live under one roof, but I’m alone in reality. I don’t chase him out, don’t beg, don’t argue. I just look at a man who’s chosen me for my wallet, and a mum who now thinks she owns my life. And I wonder how many women have gone through this and told themselves “keep quiet, or it’ll get worse.” But honestly, I don’t know if anything is worse than being used while someone smiles at you. ❓ If you found out that for years you’ve been paying for a “family home,” only to discover the deeds are in his mother’s name and you’re just the convenient one, do you walk out immediately or fight to get everything back?
Im not certain how to write this without it sounding like something out of a cheap melodrama, but its
La vida
03
I Made the Decision to Stop Taking My Daughters to Family Gatherings—After Years of Not Realising What Was Really Happening. My daughters are 14 and 12. From an early age, they’d hear the “supposedly normal” comments: “She eats too much.” “That doesn’t look good on her.” “She’s too old to dress like that.” “She should watch her weight while she’s young.” At first, I brushed it off as just the blunt way my family talks. I’d think, “Oh, that’s just how they are…” When my girls were younger, they didn’t know how to defend themselves. They’d stay quiet, look down, sometimes force a polite smile. I could see they felt uncomfortable, but I convinced myself I was exaggerating. That it was just how family gatherings go. And sure, there was a full table, laughter, photos, hugs… But there were also lingering looks. Cousin comparisons. Unnecessary questions. “Jokes” that weren’t funny. At the end of the day, my daughters came home quieter than usual. Over time, the comments never stopped—just changed shape. It wasn’t just about food—it was bodies, appearances, development. “She’s really filling out now.” “The other one’s much too skinny.” “No one will fancy her looking like that.” “If she keeps eating like that, she can’t complain later.” No one asked how they felt. No one realised these were girls listening—and remembering. Everything changed when they hit their teens. One day, after a gathering, my eldest said, “Dad… I don’t want to go anymore.” She explained that for her, these events were awful: getting dressed up, going, sitting through the comments, forcing a polite smile—then coming home feeling awful. My younger daughter just nodded. That moment, I realised they’d felt this way for years. So I started to really pay attention. I remembered scenes. Comments. Looks. Gestures. I listened to other stories—of people raised in families where everything’s said “for your own good.” I realised how deeply this can wound a child’s confidence. So, together with my wife, I made a decision: Our daughters would no longer go places where they didn’t feel safe. We wouldn’t force them. If one day they want to go, they can. If they don’t, nothing bad will happen. Their peace of mind is more important than family tradition. Some relatives have started to notice. The questions began: “What’s going on?” “Why aren’t they coming?” “You’re overreacting.” “It’s always been like this.” “You can’t treat kids like they’re made of glass.” I didn’t explain. I didn’t cause a scene. I didn’t argue. I just stopped taking them. Sometimes silence says everything. Now my daughters know their dad will never put them in situations where they have to endure humiliation disguised as “opinion.” Some people may not like it. Maybe we’re seen as troublemakers. But I’d rather be the father who draws the line… than the one who looks away while his daughters learn to hate parts of themselves just to “fit in.” ❓ Do you think I did the right thing? Would you do the same for your child?
You know, I made the decision to stop taking my daughters to family gatheringsnot something I came to
La vida
06
How Could I Burden You with Such a Responsibility? Even My Father and Tanya Refused to Take Him In – “Marina, daughter, come to your senses! Who have you chosen to marry?” wailed Mum, adjusting my veil. “Explain, at least—what’s wrong with Sergei?” I was completely lost amid her tears. “Well, his mother works as a shop assistant and snaps at everyone. His father’s vanished, and when he was young, all he did was party and drink.” “But Granddad was the same—and chased Grandma through the village. So what?” “Your granddad was a respected man, ran the parish.” “Didn’t make it any easier for Grandma. I was just a child but I remember how frightened she was of him. Mum, with Sergei things will be different—we shouldn’t judge people by their parents.” “Wait till you have children—you’ll understand!” Mum exclaimed, and I could only sigh. Life wouldn’t be easy if Mum didn’t change her mind about Sergei. But we had a cheerful wedding and settled into family life. Luckily, Sergei inherited a house in the village from his grandparents—his own father, the vanished party boy, nowhere to be found. Sergei gradually rebuilt that house, and soon it became a real modern home, as I call it, with all the comfort and happiness we could wish for. My husband turned out wonderful—why did Mum speak so ill of him then? A year after the wedding, our son John was born, and four years later, our daughter Mary. But every time the children got sick or caused some trouble, Mum would appear, saying: “See? I warned you! Small children, small problems—just wait, the big ones will come!” Of course, I tried not to let it get to me; Mum was just grumbling out of habit. After all, I’d gone against her wishes when I married Sergei without her approval. That’s just Mum—she likes things done her way. In her heart she’d accepted my choice, even admitted (deep inside, never out loud!) that Sergei was gold. But to say it aloud would mean admitting she’d been wrong—and that would never happen! She didn’t mean bad things about the grandchildren, just worried for them. In truth, she loved them fiercely—if anything happened she’d be the first to leap off a bridge, tearing her hair for those very words. Sometimes, though, those “big problems” did start to worry me, thinking of all the troubles that come with children growing up. Inevitably, the years passed, and soon our son finished college and was about to start adult life at a prestigious university in the nearest city—just 89 miles away. But for a mother’s heart, those miles felt like travelling from Earth to Mercury! Far away indeed. I spent the first four nights unable to sleep, worrying about my boy—what if someone hurt him? What if he didn’t eat properly? What if the city changed him, and he was such a good lad! At first John lived in the university dorm, allocated for country kids. But I couldn’t bear that, so convinced Sergei to rent him a flat in the city. John agreed to pay part of the rent himself, and started an internet job. He’s such a clever boy! I commuted every weekend to see him, help around, tidy, cook—even though his place was cleaner than his old bedroom ever was. And he managed his food too, cooking healthy meals—a smart cookie! Pretty soon, my constant trips began to annoy Sergei. “Marina! Stop keeping John at your apron strings! Let him breathe! You never have time for me—maybe I’ll go off with Lorraine the postie, she’s welcoming enough!” He was joking, but it scared me—what would I do without him? He was right though; time to let our son grow up. I fussed a while longer like a mother hen, then gradually learned to live with the idea that John had grown up. I gave him the freedom, stopped hovering—and, as I soon discovered, maybe I shouldn’t have. One day, the university rang: my son was skipping lectures and dangerously close to expulsion! I couldn’t believe it. Wasn’t this my John? Impossible! I dropped everything and rushed to the city. Even Sergei couldn’t stop me—I can be a bit of a tank sometimes. John didn’t expect me. Worse, he hadn’t even hidden the reason for his absence from uni. The reason was a girl—Anna. She seemed sweet as an angel. But alongside her in the flat was a toddler! A one-year-old boy. I immediately understood: this girl with a baby wanted to hook my son and marry him. I’m a modern mum, times have changed, but still! John wasn’t old enough for marriage—let alone raising someone else’s child. Though Anna looked at most eighteen—when did she become a mother?! I kept the storm inside, and greeted Anna politely, then shut myself and John in the kitchen for a serious talk. “So, you’re in love?” I asked, trying (and probably failing) to smile. “Very much, Mum,” John smiled too. “And what about your studies?” I tiptoed around the topic. “I know I let things slip, Mum, but it’s just a period. Don’t worry—I’ll fix it.” “What kind of period? Will you share with me?” “I can’t, Mum. It’s not my secret. Maybe later, once you get to know Anna better.” I didn’t want to push and risk him shutting me out, so I went home. “This is all YOUR fault!” I snapped at Sergei, “Freedom for our son? See what that’s done! What do we do now?!” “What’s really wrong?” asked Sergei. “What’s wrong with a ready-made child? If John already loves him, then he’s not a stranger.” “You’re ready to be a granddad?” “Why not? I knew once we had kids, I’d become a granddad one day.” “But not to a stranger’s child!” “Marina, I swear, I don’t know you. No child is ever a stranger—just think about it.” He went to sleep in the spare room while I wandered the empty bedroom half the night, angry at everyone. At life, Anna, my son, Sergei—for taking their side. Gradually I calmed down and saw Sergei was right. The child wasn’t to blame. Anna probably wasn’t either—circumstances happen. By morning, after plenty of tears, I snuck into bed with Sergei in the lounge. “Sergei, forgive me! I see things clearer now. I just love you all so much!” “Come here, you silly woman!” He lifted the duvet, and I curled up beside him. We fell asleep together, and I smiled in my dreams. So I’d be a granny now—why not? That little boy in John’s flat was adorable—his name’s Michael. But of course, things weren’t that simple. Soon John announced he was switching to evening classes, and he and Anna planned to marry. This time I took a breath before reacting, then Sergei and I visited the city that weekend. I knew Sergei would help us find the best solution—though I was tempted to “make firewood enough for a whole British winter,” as we say. Anna greeted us, teary-eyed: “I’m sorry—I don’t want John to do this, but he’s so stubborn. You know that, I guess!” “Stubborn, yes,” Sergei agreed, swapping shoes, “but he’s not dim. If he’s decided, then he means it. Cheer up, Anna, let’s just talk it through.” We headed to the kitchen. John wasn’t home. “He’s gone for milk, will be back soon,” Anna explained. “Why do you keep apologising?” Sergei asked. “You’ve done nothing wrong—we haven’t figured out anything yet. Will you make tired guests some tea? I’ve just driven nearly ninety miles.” “Oh—I’m sorry,” Anna fussed. Sergei rolled his eyes, and Anna grinned; I realised he’d already accepted her. When the tea was made and Sergei munched his third homemade cookie—rare among today’s young women—I knew John hadn’t baked those! John returned, serious-faced, loaded down with groceries. Yet I saw a new glint in his eyes—something grown-up, manly. Suddenly, I didn’t feel I could tell this man, my son, what to do anymore. “So, you’ve decided to get married?” Sergei started when we sat down. “Yes—and it’s not open for debate,” John replied stubbornly. “Okay. Just tell me—why the rush? Is Anna expecting another?” “No—never!” Anna shook her head fiercely and blushed. A wild thought crossed my mind—maybe nothing physical had happened yet between them! Couldn’t be, but… “Why the rush, then?” “Otherwise, Micky will be put in care,” Anna said quietly. “Why would that happen?” Sergei asked sternly. “Because his mum… passed away,” Anna’s lips trembled. “Anna, you don’t have to explain,” John stood up. “Mum, Dad, just accept what I told you. The rest is between us!” “Wait, John,” Anna hesitated. “If I’m with you now, then your family is my family. I can’t hide my life from you—it isn’t right.” She fell silent; Sergei and I exchanged glances. “Anna, isn’t Micky your son?” I ventured. “No—he’s my little brother. Same mum, different dads.” I could have hugged everyone—but I kept calm. Anna continued her story: “My mum passed away in prison—she had a heart defect. She lived longer than expected, they say. Her life was hard; she was… fiery.” Anna sipped her tea, sighing. She struggled, but kept going, though John and we tried to stop, seeing how hard it was. “Mum first went to prison after a fight with my dad—she hit an old lady at a crossing. It got in the papers. When they sent Mum to prison, Dad took me to live separately. Before Mum got out, Dad remarried. I don’t blame him; Mum was difficult. His new wife, Tanya, is gentle—we get along well. Perhaps my happy life is due to his decision. Tanya and Dad raised me, and they’re my real family.” Anna paused again. I saw her and John holding hands under the table. This was only the start, I realised. “Three years ago, Mum fell hard in love with Dennis—ten years younger. That’s when Micky was born. I was delighted, always visited. No rows when I was there, but neighbours claimed otherwise in court, hearing shouting and smashing dishes. One day, I later learned, Mum and Dennis fought badly—Mum got jealous. She shoved Dennis; he tripped on a blanket, fell, and hit his head on the table. Two days later, Dennis died in hospital, and Mum was arrested. She… passed away in remand, before any trial. Her heart just stopped. Please, don’t judge her harshly! She was like a hummingbird—bright, restless, uncontrollable. But I loved her, still do.” “Now you must forgive us, Anna,” said Sergei, once she finished. “We’re sorry you had to go through that. You’re right—we’re family now, so we support each other.” Truthfully, I wanted to shout: “What are you doing, son?! John, don’t! We don’t need such family ties! We’ve never had criminals in our family!” But I stopped myself, picturing my wedding day, Mum in tears begging me not to marry Sergei. I mentally slapped my own cheeks—“Don’t judge people by their parents, Marina! You should know better!” That self-scolding worked a miracle. A mad, but marvellous idea popped into my head. I saw Sergei’s smile—he’d had it too, and agreed! Sergei nodded and said: “How about this, friends? Mum and I become Micky’s guardians—then you two can wait before marrying and carry on with your studies.” “But how?” Anna asked. “Dad, stop!” John protested. “Micky would do well in the countryside—think of your own childhood, John. And if you want, you can always take him later.” “It’s gone quiet with just us here—Mary’s more into boys these days.” “Anna,” I gazed at her, “the decision is yours.” “But how can I ask that of you? My Dad and Tanya refused to take him in.” Just then, the little boy causing all the fuss awoke, shuffled into the kitchen, and raised his arms—not to anyone but Sergei. “Oof, what a burden!” Sergei joked, picking Micky up. “Sergei, you’re not bad—more like a dad than a granddad!” I laughed. “Wait and see!” he threatened playfully, whispering in my ear, “I’ll show you the granddad at bedtime.” The kids fussed, but agreed to let Micky come live with us. Oddly, formal guardianship was smooth—no red tape. The social worker said it’s common now for families our age to take in little ones; when your own children grow up, there’s still so much love and care to give. Sergei and I felt younger caring for Micky. When I got up in the night to him, I’d shed tears of joy at my unexpected happiness. Mum, as always, scolded us for our decision—but she grew to love Micky most of all, and he adored her. “Oh, Marina! What have you done?” she’d scold, and then coo to Micky, “Who’s tired and wants to sleep? Whose little eyes are closing?” Then again: “Whatever were you thinking, Marina? Whose tiny fingers have got grubby?! I don’t know how you’ll manage—but where’s my Micky gone? Where is he hiding?!”
“But how on earth could I burden you with such a thing? Even my own father and Sarah refused to
La vida
013
My Ex-Sister-in-Law Turned Up at Christmas Dinner—and Left the Whole Family Speechless
My former sister-in-law showed up at Christmas dinner and left us all speechless. When the doorbell rang
La vida
09
The Day My Ex-Mother-in-Law Showed Up and Even Tried to Take My Daughter’s Cradle
The day my ex-mother-in-law showed up and even tried to take my daughters cradle with her. When I told