Auntie Visiting, Wife in Tears
I was yanked from my dreams by the doorbell ringing loud and clear in the dead of night. Next to me, my wife, Emily, stirred, groggy and confused. Gently, I reached across and squeezed her shoulder.
Love, just stay in bed. Ill get it, I muttered, still half asleep.
Shuffling to the front door in my pyjamas, I mumbled, Who on earth can it be at this hour?
Opening the door, I was confronted by the unmistakeable figure of Aunt Margaret, suitcase in tow, her husband Uncle Charles standing uncomfortably behind her on the step.
My dear nephew! Aunt Margaret declared. Arent you glad to see me? Come here, give your aunt a proper hug! She latched onto my arm like she hadnt seen me in decades, squeezing so tight I thought she might squeeze the life out of me.
Well, goodbye to peace and quiet, I thought with a sigh as I lugged Aunt Margarets bag down the hallway.
The rest of the night descended into absolute chaos. Aunt Margaret wouldnt hear of sleeping on the sofa, complaining it was far too lumpy and just awful for her back. Then she said perhaps I could sort something more comfortable.
Emily looked on in absolute disbelief. In less than an hour, Aunt Margaret had managed to turn the whole flat upside down. Eventually, everyone crawled off to bedAunt Margaret and Uncle Charles took our bed, leaving Emily and me on the creaky sofa for the night.
How long do you reckon theyll be here? Emily whispered as she passed me a mug of tea at breakfast.
Ive no idea. Ill ask her when I get back from work, I replied, already dreading the answer.
Emily tried to ignore the sound of heavy snoring rumbling from the bedroom, but her nerves were shot.
Rob, Im honestly a bit scared of her. Can you come home early tonight? she pleaded.
Ill do my best, I promised, stepping out into the chilly morning air.
When I returned from work, the first thing I saw was the dining table set as if the Queen herself was dropping by.
Come in, dear boy, were celebrating a family reunion! Aunt Margaret called from the kitchen.
Emily leaned across and whispered, Im so glad youre home!
We all sat at the table together, sharing a meal.
Aunt Margaret, how long are you staying in London this time? I ventured, trying to sound casual.
Already keen to be rid of us, are you? Charles, listen, do you hear that? Were clearly not welcome, she grumbled to Uncle Charles.
Auntie, thats nonsense! Youre welcome for as long as you like, I said, completely confused.
Well, well be staying here for good, Robert. Weve sold our flat. Youre the only family weve got left now. You wouldnt put your aunt and uncle out on the street, would you? Surely you can cope with us for whatever time weve got left? She dabbed her eyes dramatically with her napkin.
My jaw dropped, and Emily burst into tears before storming out of the room. An awkward silence settled like fog. Uncle Charles just calmly continued eating his salad, quietly oblivious.
So youve nothing to say? Margaret barked at her husband. You just sit there scoffingnever a word. You let me make all the decisions, and you just nod along. What kind of man are you? She swung around to me. So, Robert, are you happy?
You can stay as long as you want, I managed, though just then I could hear Emily sobbing quietly by the front door.
I pushed my food around on the plate without much appetite. Aunt Margaret and Uncle Charles ate with such gusto, I genuinely feared for our crockery.
Finally, with their plates clean, Aunt Margaret leaned back with a sigh.
Im stuffed. Oh, Robert, I was only pulling your legyou should have seen your face! Were only here for a quick hospital check-up, maybe three days. You handled yourself rather nicely. Even though you were terrified, you didnt show it! Family is everything, after all. When Im gone, youre my sole heir, as we never had children. The flat will be yours, dear.
Id never felt such relief in my life.
Auntie Margaret, may you live another hundred years! I said cheerfully.
Those days they stayed with us, Emily dissolved into tears at least once a day. She just couldnt seem to do anything right in Margarets eyesthe soup too bland, the chops too tough, washing done all wrong, floor not mopped to her exacting standards.
When it was finally time to say goodbye, Aunt Margaret leaned in and whispered,
How on earth did you end up married to such a cry-baby? Is she pregnant or does she simply cry for England?
The second the front door clicked shut behind them, Emily spun around and began to dance around the living room with joy.
Maybe theyll never come back! she said hopefully.
I wouldnt bet on it, I replied. Auntie seemed rather taken with our place.
I just cant cope anymore! she groaned.
Suddenly, the bell rang againshrill and insistent.
Surely not again? I jumped up, only to realiseoh, it was just the alarm clock. I grinned as relief washed over me. A brand new, beautiful day awaited.
